Original: Last Thoughts of a Lost Cosmonaut (2012)

Posting this month's poem a few days early.  Tomorrow will be the Sunday Who Review as usual, but Buster Monday will be pushed back a day so I can talk about the Oscars.

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Last Thoughts of a Lost Cosmonaut

Some would say a death in space

Is the worst kind of death

To be had.

Not that they mean, however,

That it’s the most painful.

No, the annals of horror

Have shown there are grimmer,

Grislier ways to go.

A death in space is instead

Deemed the worst in terms of distance,

In terms of the knowledge

That an atmosphere

Separates you from the rest of your kind.

A sort of inhumanity

Clings to the thought of dying

Out of reach of your planet.

For the loved ones losing you,

Nothing stands

To anchor their grief.

A death at sea at least leaves

A body of water,

A somewhere they can point at,

Journey over, or wade into,

And say, “Here’s where you ended.”

The forever of space

Leaves no such ground

For them to go to.

But as for me,

I don’t bemoan this death in space;

I’ll take my stardust burial.

Mourn me

Through a telescope lens

And leave flowers

Under any night sky.

As I unceasingly float

From all the solid ground I’ll ever know,

My thoughts rest on what my end

Says of my life.

To this irretrievable, drifting cosmonaut,

A death in space simply means

Mine was a life that stepped

Beyond the common orbit.

News Satire Roundup: February 21st-February 25th

Sunday, February 21 – The usual suspects in the opening – the South Carolina Republican primary (guess Trump can check off “fight with the Pope” on his list of things he can do without losing votes) and some more obvious hypocrisy on Congress’s refusal to approve any nominee Obama puts forth for the Supreme Court.  I adored the “How is This Still a Thing?” segment on Hollywood whitewashing, especially the show’s continued disdain for Aloha.  The main story was on abortion and the restrictions different states place on it.  A very divisive subject, of course, but it’s pretty sobering how, even though the Supreme Court has upheld it as a right, it’s still so vastly undercut.  Interesting how driving five hours and having to stay there three days due to mandatory waiting periods isn’t considered an “undue burden” to abortion access.  It seems like opponents in government are aiming to “hoop-jump” it into oblivion.

Monday, February 22 – The show picked a rough week to be off.  In playing catch-up, Trevor barely had time to touch on Scalia’s death, “Apple joining ISIS” (who knew, right?), and Trump fighting with the Pope/spewing even more Islamaphobic insanity.  That said, the stories they did cover were well-done.  The South Carolina story hit all the right notes:  the sobering knowledge that Trump might really be the Republican nominee, a farewell to Bush, and, my favorite, “Trump’s wife speaks immigrant??”  Really glad the show talked about the Uganda election and all the shady stuff that went down there; as crazy as this US election is, at least I can actually exercise my right to vote without government obstruction.  Also, campaigning from a couch on top of a car is fabulous.  The interview with Senator Cory Booker was great – Booker was thoughtful, personable, and non-inflammatory.  Is such a thing still possible?

Tuesday, February 23 – Now we got to talk about the Supreme Court.  After a quick rundown of Scalia’s legacy (from weakening the Voting Rights Act to making it harder to regulate gun laws – standup guy,) Trevor addressed the nominating stalemate and inconsistent stances taken by both sides of the aisle in years past.  This was capped by the superb ad for the fake board game “Congress,” which hilariously captured partisan gridlock as played out by children.  Jessica’s field piece, interviewing licensed homophobe/alarmist Rev. Manning, was uncomfortable but insane, and I love the poetic justice of his building potentially being turned into a shelter for LGBTQ youth once the bank forecloses on it.  I like Anthony Mackie in the Marvel movies, but while his interview was amusing, it was also pretty awkward. It seemed like he and Trevor were having separate conversations throughout much of the interview.

Wednesday, February 24 – Great show tonight.  The footage of the new Google robot being bullied by its engineers was bizarre but amusing.  Another caucus, another win for Trump – highlights here included the Pacman Trump graphic and Cruz’s spin to turn two losses into a victory.  Segment of the night goes to Trevor’s brilliant skewering of Carson’s assertion that Obama was “raised white.”  After side-eying the way Carson equated Blackness with poverty, Trevor challenged the doctor to pass his own stereotypical “Black test.”  The story about Hitler having a micropenis (it's a thing) was mostly interesting to me for how “standup” it felt.  No clips, no graphics, no titles – just Trevor standing in front of an audience riffing on a particular topic.  I wonder if this is a style he’d like to incorporate more often on the show.  Nothing much to say about the interview with AIRBNB CEO Brian Chesky.  Fine, but unremarkable.

Thursday, February 25 – Bit of a lackluster show for me.  The story on Apple’s standoff with the FBI was fine and had some good lines, but for my money, it just didn’t pop the way great segments of the show often do.  Roy and Jordan’s piece about which Democratic candidate is more popular with Black voters seemed like a wasted opportunity.  They really didn’t have anything substantial to say about why Black voters would support either one, and they also didn’t talk about the ways both campaigns have tried to pander to that community since they left New Hampshire.  What I did like was the interview with former CIA director Michael Hayden.  Trevor did incredibly well, not backing off from questions about civilians killed in drone strikes and the possibility that U.S actions have contributed to increased radicalization.  So, strong finish, anyway!

2016 Oscars: Personal Nominations

I’ve seen all of this year’s best picture nominees and quite a few nominees in other categories, and I’ve found most of them to be wholeheartedly deserving.  However, as I’ve said before, deserving an Oscar doesn’t necessarily mean getting nominated for one, and plenty of equally talented people go unrecognized in a year.  These are the people and films I would’ve nominated in my nine favorite categories – I agree with some of the Academy’s picks, but there are others I would’ve preferred to see instead.  (Just nominations.  I had a hard enough time picking winners in some of the real categories yesterday, and these are packed with even more of my favorites!)

Best Picture – The category allows up to 10, so I’m not throwing any slots away!  (The Revenant need not apply.)

Beasts of No Nation – Netflix or not, this film deserves to be up here.

The Big Short

Brooklyn

Creed – At absolute minimum, one of my top three films of the year.  So fantastically well done.

Inside Out – Another Pixar knockout.

Mad Max:  Fury Road

The Martian

Room

Spotlight

Straight Outta Compton

Best Leading Actor – A lot of shakeups here.  Sorry, Leo – you’re always great, but The Revenant doesn’t do it for me, and I can’t help but feel that Eddie Redmayne playing a trans woman is cheating.

Abraham Attah (Beasts of No Nation) – I know he’s young, but he’s an absolute revelation in this role; so good.

Matt Damon (The Martian)

Michael Fassbender (Steve Jobs)

Tom Hanks (Bridge of Spies)

Michael B. Jordan (Creed)

Best Leading Actress

Cate Blanchett (Carol)

Brie Larson (Room)

Saoirse Ronan (Brooklyn)

Charlize Theron (Mad Max:  Fury Road) – It’s Furiosa!  Accept no substitutes.

Alicia Vikander (Ex Machina) – Vikander is excellent in The Danish Girl as well, but this is really her showcase role for 2015.

Best Supporting Actor – Nothing against the other actors, but Sylvester Stallone is the only holdover here.  So many good, interesting performances this year, so few spots.  (By the way, this category probably has my most “Huh?” choices.)

Idris Elba (Beasts of No Nation) – No excuse for not nominating this man.

Colin Firth (Kingsmen:  The Secret Service) – Yeah, I said it.  I know the Academy are snobs, but Firth kills it (figuratively and literally) in this movie.

Nicholas Hoult (Mad Max:  Fury Road) – Insane and riveting.  Hoult has grown so much as an actor.

Jason Mitchell (Straight Outta Compton)

Sylvester Stallone (Creed)

Best Supporting Actress – Kate Winslet wound up being the only original name to make the cut here.  Rooney Mara and Alicia Vikander really have leading roles, and while Rachel McAdams is reliably good, her part is nothing spectacular.

Joan Allen (Room)

Angela Bassett (Chi-Raq) – Her delivery of the rhyming dialogue always sounds so natural.

Jessica Chastain (The Martian) – This role maybe edges a bit toward lead actress, but really, other than Watney, it’s such an ensemble cast, so I ultimately kept her here.

Tessa Thompson (Creed)

Kate Winslet (Steve Jobs)

Best Directing

The Big Short

Creed – Ryan Coogler’s directing snub really annoys me; this film is so amazing.

Mad Max:  Fury Road

The Martian

Room

Best Original Screenplay – The only completely untouched category.  Partially a thumbs-up to the Academy, and partially a sad commentary on how few 2015 films I saw that had great original screenplays.

Bridge of Spies

Ex Machina

Inside Out – Such thoughtful, sophisticated storytelling.

Spotlight

Straight Outta Compton

Best Adapted Screenplay – I did a little snooping and discovered that both Creed and Mad Max:  Fury Road count as adapted screenplays, since, as franchise installments, they include characters/situations from earlier films.

Beasts of No Nation

The Big Short

Creed

Mad Max:  Fury Road – This one might feel like an odd placement, but while the plot (what happens) is pretty straightforward action, the story (characters, themes, and ideas) is fantastic.

The Martian

Best Cinematography

The Danish Girl

Mad Max:  Fury Road

The Revenant

Room – Surprised this one didn’t get nominated.  Really well done.

Sicario

2016 Oscar Picks

“Picks,” mind you, not predictions.  Looking at the nominees in my nine favorite categories, on which I focused my Oscar watch, these are the people/films I’d like to see win.  Sometimes I think they’re objectively the best, but sometimes, they’re just my favorite.  Here we go!

Best Picture:  The Martian – I debated for quite a while between this one and Mad Max:  Fury Road, which is just astounding.  Both are phenomenal “whole package” films where everything comes together to brilliant effect, but I think The Martian might have a slight edge, if only because it has more great dialogue to love.  This is a very shaky lead, though; I’m considered switching to Mad Max even as I type this.

Best Leading Actor:  Matt Damon (The Martian) – Don’t get me wrong, I like Leo, but this isn’t the role I’d give him the Oscar for; the story just didn’t give him the depth I like to see an actor working with.  The Martian, however, gives Damon a superb character that he plays amazingly.  I’ve found that that’s a theme with my acting picks, though.  More than anything, my best performer is usually the one with the most compelling character on paper.  (Note:  I haven’t seen Bryan Cranston in Trumbo.)

Best Leading Actress:  Brie Larson (Room) – No contest here, although in a different year, Saoirse Ronan could have risen to the top.  Larson is absolutely stunning as Ma, handling this rich, complex, hard-to-watch role with both rawness and sensitivity, if that even makes sense.  With a character like this for her to play, the other actresses didn’t stand a chance.  (Note:  I haven’t seen Charlotte Rampling in 45 Years.)

Best Supporting Actor:  Sylvester Stallone (Creed) – I wouldn’t have guessed this before I saw the film, and Michael B. Jordan and Ryan Coogler’s snubs make me a little sad to pick Stallone, but he’s my clear choice.  Far and away, his material gives him the best chance stretch his acting muscles, and he rises wonderfully to the occasion.

Best Supporting Actress:  Alicia Vikander (The Danish Girl) – This feels like a bit of a cheat, since Gerda is pretty clearly a lead role, but it does mean that Vikander gets a better chance to showcase her skills than the other actresses in this category.  Though I’m naturally predisposed to be on the side of the trans person in these kinds of stories, Vikander sells Gerda’s struggle/confusion and makes her sympathetic even in harder moments.  (Note:  I haven’t seen Jennifer Jason Leigh in The Hateful Eight.)

Best Directing:  Mad Max:  Fury Road – I also considered Room pretty strongly, but Mad Max:  Fury Road is just such a singular, breathtaking film-going experience, and George Miller’s audacious vision has a lot to do with it.  This is a film where every element comes together so fantastically that it’s clear it had a strong creative mind behind the helm. 

Best Original Screenplay:  Spotlight – And no, it’s not just because I love Tom McCarthy.  This story is tight, it’s dramatic, it’s emotionally compelling, and the characters speak like people do.  This is a tough category with some great competition, but ultimately, I had to go with Spotlight.

Best Adapted Screenplay:  The Big Short – Any film that can explain home mortgages and investments in a way that’s both entertaining and makes me feel like I get it is a winner in my book, although I do really love The Martian as well.  Also, as I said in my review, I just love how the film breaks the fourth wall to comment on itself as a based-on-a-true-story picture.

Best Cinematography:  Sicario – Maybe it’s in part because this is the only nomination Sicario received, so it was the only element I was paying attention to in an “award-focused” state of mind when I watched the film, but the cinematography is hugely important here.  It contributes greatly to the atmosphere and tension, and it really brings home the parallels between the drug war and military wars.  (Note:  I haven’t seen The Hateful Eight.)

Dear Hollywood Whitewashers: Ridley Scott

Sunday’s episode of Last Week Tonight did a magnificent piece on whitewashing in Hollywood (more on that in this week’s News Satire Roundup,) which got me thinking.  I’ve been paying more attention to diversity in film and television lately, and I’ve mentioned being no fan of whitewashing.  However, a quote from Ridley Scott, director of 2014's white-led Egyptian story Exodus:  Gods and Kings, made me realize something I haven’t talked about – the excuses that filmmakers (and actors) give when the public calls them out on whitewashing practices.  So, this is a new feature focused specifically on these kinds of excuses and my replies on them.  (Note:  as with many of the films I’ll eventually bring up in this feature, I haven’t seen Exodus:  Gods and Kings, but I’m commenting on the casting trend and not the movies themselves.)

Here’s Ridley Scott on why he cast white men (Christian Bale and Joel Edgerton) as leads in his movie about Egyptian characters:  “I can’t mount a film of this budget, where I have to rely on tax rebates in Spain, and say that my lead actor is Mohammad so-and-so from such-and-such.  I’m just not going to get it financed. So the question doesn’t even come up.”

We won’t focus too much on the “the tax rebates made me do it!” hand-wringing over budget, except to point out that that excuse wouldn’t have remotely flown for a story set virtually anywhere else in Africa.  Even though Hollywood has (mostly!) learned that it can’t get away with casting white actors as Black people, Middle Eastern characters are subjected to whitewashing more often, particularly in biblical epics like Exodus.

See, here’s the thing, Ridley Scott.  Mohammad so-and-so from such-and-such (topnotch phrasing there, really well-made choice) has ludicrously-limited opportunities in Hollywood.  Goodness knows he’s unlikely to be cast in any race-non-specified role that will probably default to white.   The casting calls his agent sends him are a lot of Arab Cab Driver, Terrorist #3, and Oil Sheik stuff.  He goes to these auditions and he takes these parts because he wants to work and he wants to act and he looks for something more substantial to come along.

But when those parts do come along, people like you say, “Who’s this guy?  I can’t open a movie with someone like him,” and they cast a white “name” (or not – Bale is a star, but Edgerton isn’t much of a known commodity, as the Last Week Tonight piece points out) in the name of selling tickets.  Well, no, that’s not quite right.  As you said, “the question doesn’t even come up.”  You never see his audition, because he doesn’t get to give you one, because you’re already decided that’s not an option worth considering.

And if he never gets that chance to even try for a part like that, he’s always going to be “Mohammad so-and-so from such-and-such,” because he can’t make a name for himself off of Terrorist #3.  Do you know who Robert De Niro, Brad Pitt, and, yes, Christian Bale, all were once?  Robert and Brad and Christian so-and-so from such-and-such.  Years ago, they became the names we know today for two important reasons.  First, they’re damn good actors.  Second, they were able to prove that to Hollywood – and the rest of us – because they were able to audition for and get great roles in great movies.  By denying Mohammad so-and-so from such-and-such the opportunity to show you what he can do, you’re just perpetuating the trumped-up excuse you used to exclude him in the first place.

The Electric House (1922)

Today’s short isn’t as flush with stunts or gags as a lot of Buster’s work, but his creativity and mechanical sensibilities are definitely on display.  The released short is actually the second version of it.  The first time around, Buster broke his ankle while filming and, much to his dismay, had to put shooting on hold due to an injury he got doing something as pedestrian as getting his slap shoe caught in an escalator (he lived on a different level, no question about it.)  His resulting irritation made him scrap the whole production, but he must have still liked the idea well enough, because he came back and remade it later.

Thanks to a slight diploma mixup, newly-graduated botanist Buster is hired as an electrical engineer to update a wealthy man’s house (and why doesn’t Buster point out that he’s not an electrical engineer?  Because he gets a look at the guy’s daughter, obviously!)  Now, when most of us hear the words “electricity” and “house,” we probably picture stuff like lightswitches.  Not Buster!  When the family returns home from vacation, he has a plethora of labor-saving electrified features to show them, including an escalator, a dishwasher (in 1922, people!), a tub that runs on a track from the bed to the bathroom, and a pool table and sets itself up with the flick of a switch.  Of course, it’s only a matter of time until the real engineer, who was passed over for Buster, shows up to get his revenge crossed-wires-style.

As is typical for Buster’s highly-mechanical shorts, the electric doodads are the main attraction here.  Some are fairly impossible (seems like a bathtub can’t be both mobile and hooked up to the plumbing,) while others, like the electric trains running on a track from the kitchen to the dining room to carry dishes in and out, were used by Buster in real life.  They’re all pretty fun and make a nice window into how Buster’s mind operated.

The short is a little lighter on the comedy, but there are still some good bits.  Buster really sells his interest in botany in the opening scene by completely losing himself in the flower that the girl next to him is wearing in her hair, and there’s an amusing sight gag of Buster tying a rope like a necktie.  He also mines the escalator for all it’s worth, particularly in a scene where it malfunctions as he’s trying to lug a heavy trunk up the stairs.

Okay, so I knew Big Joe Roberts was in nearly all of Buster’s independent shorts (he’s the man who hires Buster to electrify his house,) and I knew Virginia Fox (the girl) was in a lot, too, but I don’t think I realized just how many she appeared in!  It’s only since I started doing full reviews of the shorts that I noticed I was writing her name almost every week.  IMDb tells me that Roberts was in sixteen of Buster’s nineteen shorts (plus Three Ages and Our Hospitality,) which sounds about right to me, while Fox, surprisingly, was in ten!  Even though she frequently doesn’t have much in do in these shorts, I always enjoy seeing her.

Warnings

Slapstick violence and some don’t-try-this-at-home with electricity.