The show is back for the new year, starting what will be its format up through the election. Jon Stewart has returned to guest host every Monday, with the correspondents sharing the hosting duties the rest of the week! This week, Jordan Klepper took Tuesday through Thursday.
Monday, February 12
· Headlines – The Super Bowl, special counsel report on Biden’s classified documents, debate over Biden and Trump’s ages
o Great bit – “Why am I back? I have committed a lot of crimes. And from what I understand, talk show hosts are granted immunity, so…. Doesn’t make a lot of sense, but take it up with the Founders, I don’t know.”
o Since the far-right has started a one-sided war against Taylor Swift, the Kansas City Chiefs’ Super Bowl win was a blow for them – “It was really a lose-lose for conservatives. I mean, if the Chiefs lost, who wins? The People’s Communist Republic of Gay Pelosistan.”
o Jon remarked his disappointment that even the Super Bowl has been politicized – “But now that it’s over? Nine months until the election, people!”
o Many right-wing pundits have latched onto special counsel Robert Hur’s comments about Biden’s age – In particular, they’re pointing to his deposition as proof of “cognitive decline” because of the different things Biden said he couldn’t remember.
o This, of course, led to a supercut of Trump saying variations of “I do not recall” in a deposition of his own – My favorite was the exchange – “So you don’t remember saying you have one of the best memories in the world?”, “I don’t remember that.”
o We also got a montage of Trump’s adult children giving the ole “I do not recall” in various depositions – “It turns out the leading cause of early-onset dementia is being deposed.”
o Jon was unimpressed with Biden’s comments about Israel and Gaza in a recent press conference – “By the way, the response in Gaza has been ‘over-the-top’? You know, I like how Biden describes Israel’s incessant bombing of civilians the same way my mother talks about the Super Bowl halftime show.”
o I laughed at Jon’s reaction to Biden making his first post on TikTok – “Fire everyone! How do you go on TikTok and end up looking older?”
o But the people gnashing their teeth over Biden’s age often seem to forget about Trump’s – “On a human scale, Trump is objectively old! If he was a tortoise, I would tell him as a tortoise at 77, ‘Oh, young man, go off and enjoy college!’ But he’s not a tortoise!”
o This was a good point – “They’re both stretching the limits of being able to handle the toughest job in the world. What’s crazy is thinking that we’re the ones as voters who must silence concerns and criticism. It is the candidates’ job to assuage concerns, not the voters’ job not to mention them.”
· Correspondent Piece (Desi, Michael, Dulcé, Ronny, Jordan) – Election news team
o Each of the main correspondents popped up in a rural diner to get the scoop on the election from “real Americans” – Michael specified, “I’ll be in the same diner as Desi, but the realer part of the diner. Not the booth section with all the coastal elite Democrats and their fancy back support.”
o Dulcé, meanwhile, wasn’t interested in what voters had to say about Biden and Trump – In a delightful bit of shade against Jon, she exclaimed, “They already had this job! Now these old white dudes gotta come back and reclaim it?”
· Interview – The Economist Editor-in-Chief Zanny Minton Beddoes
o Minton Beddoes described The Economist as “championing liberalism” among a massive shift in conservative movements around the world.
o Looking at far-right politicians globally, Jon noted, “They’re the ones who are always talking about how there’s a conspiracy to create a new world order, when if you look at it, they’re the ones trying to create it.”
o Jon tried to articulate what’s different about the GOP today compared to 20-30 years ago – “It’s combined with this anti-wokeism that almost seems to be the more powerful unifying theory than is—what used to be economic theories, and now it’s theories of social cultural issues.”
Tuesday, February 13
· Headlines – Trump’s rally comments about Nikki Haley’s husband
o Nikki Haley clapped back at Trump after he made insinuations about her husband’s absence (he’s deployed with the National Guard overseas right now) – I loved Jordan’s response, saying, “Wow! Now that is the sign of a leader: someone who will stand up for our troops when Donald Trump attacks them. I mean, not John McCain or the gold star family—she worked for Trump after that. But if you go after a troop that Nikki Haley is married to, that is where she draws a very specific line.”
o This was a great point – “If you are going to engage, Nikki, don’t just do this, ‘How dare you? Have you no decency?’ thing. Because he doesn’t. We’ve seen this. You can’t take the high road with Donald Trump. That offramp has been closed since 2016.”
o Instead, he suggested retaliating with some ‘where’s Melania?’ jokes – “Why is it easier to find a classified document at Mar-a-Lago than the mother of your children?”
o We also got a Jordan Klepper Fingers the Pulse bit during this segment – Jordan checked out dueling Haley and Trump rallies in South Carolina.
o One of the Trump supporters was wearing shorts over his jeans that were decorated with Trump’s face and the American flag – Jordan pointed out the unfortunate placement of the design, saying, “I gotta tell you, really weird place to put the mouth area!” Yep, it was over the guy’s crotch.
o Jordan checked the reactions on Trump’s claim that he’s “only going to be a dictator on day one” – He said to one group, “But he’s not gonna be like a Hitler dictator, right? More like a Mussolini dictator,” and one of the supporters replied, “Yeah, more like that.”
o He also met an attendee who served time after taking part in January 6th – When she expressed regret for her actions and told him, “January 6th was an insurrection!”, he said, “Keep your voice down, this is a Trump rally. That’s not the most popular take to have right now.”
o Jordan argued that Congress has to do more to support Ukraine, admitting that he won’t be able to learn Russian if Putin’s conquest keeps spreading – “These people have to be stopped. Their entire language is just a very strong password.”
o I liked his description of the new foreign aid bill in the Senate – “Giving money to Ukraine, Israel, and Taiwan—they just stuffed all the current and future wars into one bill, like a delicious defense turducken.”
o But of course, a lot of Republicans are now refusing to support the bill because it doesn’t include any border provisions – Jordan suggested that Congress compromises by writing a bill that includes both foreign defense and border security, then corrected himself, saying, “Oh right, because they had a border compromise, until Trump tore it up like it was a federal subpoena.”
o Jordan asked Desi, “Is there any hope for a compromise on the border?” – She replied, “Oh, you sweet, naïve, idealist shit-for-brains.”
o Desi explained, “The Republicans need a campaign issue that scares the shit out of their base. And you know what they’re afraid of? Everything! Cities, books, vaccines, gut health” – Jordan added, “High school musical theater, Black Little Mermaid, the first 300 years of American history.”
o But Jordan argued that Congress should be doing something, pointing out, “The whole point of politics is to solve problems” – Desi said, “No, the whole point of problems is to let people do politics. If we solve all the problems, then there’s no more politics!”
· Interview – Rapper Killer Mike
o Killer Mike was there to promote his new album Michael.
o Even more so than his album, however, Killer Mike was excited to share that his son finally received a much-needed kidney transplant – “I had a talk with him about his kidney like you do a puppy. Like, ‘This is your f**king kidney, you’re gonna take care of it. Marijuana, eh? Alcohol, that’s a no.’”
o Jordan asked where Killer Mike’s success comes from – He replied, “I owe it to the fact that I was just too stubborn to give up.”
Wednesday, February 14
· Headlines - House impeaches DHS secretary Alejandro Mayorkas, New York special election
o I mean, when you’re right, you’re right – “Really, House Republicans? That’s grounds for impeachment now, ‘doing a bad job’? That’s the standard you guys want to set? Because you’re not exactly crushing it right now.”
o This made me laugh – “That’s right, they impeached Alejandro Mayorkas. I guess House Republicans think they can solve the border crisis by removing one Latino at a time.”
o I liked Jordan’s intro to the story on the New York special election – “Suozzi vs. Mazi! Even Dr. Seuss was like, ‘That’s a little much.’”
o He pointed out that Tom Suozzi previously held this congressional seat but gave it up in 2022 to run for governor, then “got [his] ass kicked” – “This man failed and got another chance. This is what sociologists refer to as a Reverse Female Movie Director.”
o After a montage of Mazi Pilip and Suozzi trying to one-up each other on being tough on the border (keep in mind, they’re both in New York,) Jordan said, “Guys, guys, guys, relax. There’s plenty of migrants to demonize for the both of you.”
o Trump claimed Mazi lost because she didn’t endorse him, in a lengthy post that included “I WANT TO BE LOVED” in quotation marks. One anchor reporting on the story confessed she didn’t know what that part was about – “You don’t know? You don’t know what a bitter old man alone in his room tweeting into the abyss, ‘I WANT TO BE LOVED,’ the night before Valentine’s Day means? Haven’t you seen a person make a Freudian slip with his thumbs before?”
o Troy didn’t think the election results should provide any takeaways for the national election – “I just don’t think we should be looking for insight from an island that named their hockey team the Islanders. The Long Island Islanders—it’s not exactly a bunch of Hemingways out here.”
· Interview – Journalist Joshua Green
o Green was there to discuss his new book The Rebels, which is about the rise of far-left politicians like Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren.
o Jordan brought some of his (extensive) experience talking to Trump supporters to the table – While benchmarks like the stock market, inflation, and unemployment numbers all demonstrate that the economy is doing well under Biden, he pointed out that the people he talks to continually look at the prices of gas housing.
o Green replied, “People’s views of the economy are looked at through the lens of political partisanship,” noting that many Democrats disapproved of Trump’s economic performance as well.
o I liked what Green said about some of the ways Biden has changed for the better since his time in previous offices – A far cry from the politician Green used to refer to as “the senator from corporate America,” Biden is now a strong proponent of labor protections.
· Interview – Actor Lashana Lynch
o Lynch was promoting Bob Marley: One Love – In discussing the film, she said, “Rita Marley is a very strong, very powerful, balanced, spiritual woman, so I had to make sure she was grounded at all times.”
o This was lovely – “I just wanted to make sure that the remarkable woman remained a remarkable woman in the story, and that the female narrative was told in a way that we know it should be.”
Thursday, February 15
· Headlines – Super Bowl parade mass shooting, DA Willis investigated in Trump’s Georgia election interference case
o Jordan applauded a man who tackled a shooter at the Super Bowl parade I Kansas City – “Bravo to this guy, […] not just for stopping the shooter, but for executing a flawless tackle in front of the Super Bowl champions. I mean, Travis
o Kelce is right there, and you’re like, ‘Watch this form.’”
o Strong point – “Look, maybe you think we don’t need gun control, but don’t pretend there’s any level of security that will prevent something like this from happening. There were more than 800 police officers there, and all they could was react after it happened.”
o Oof, this was good – “I’ll tell you what’s infuriating, though: we’re not gonna get to have an honest conversation about America’s gun problem. Instead, we’re gonna be having a conversation about America’s…parade problem. Should they have more security? Should they be smaller? Should they replace the confetti with Kevlar? Should the parade just be an email? It’s not fun, but those are all the ideas we’re allowed to have.”
o Jordan had a string of jokes about Trump’s election interference case possibly being disrupted due to Georgia DA Fani Willis being investigated for bringing on her boyfriend as special counsel – My favorite was, “Are we f**ked because they f**ked?”
o Hee! – “I can’t believe a legal team’s sexual appetite might destroy this case. Now I finally understand why Trump hired Rudy Giuliani as his lawyer. No one’s risking their case to see what he’s packing.”
o Jordan side-eyed special prosecutor Nathan Wade’s testimony, which leaned heavily on him not remembering details – “Who books so many cabins he can’t keep track of them? You’re either Davey Crockett or a serial killer.”
o Desi did a quick PSA for folks working on Trump’s legal cases, advising them not to put the case in jeopardy with unethical sexual behavior – She also gave a string of other disclaimers, she couldn’t believe she had to warn them about, such as, “Do not sell tickets to the trial on StubHub.”
· Correspondent Piece (Grace) – Presidential affairs
o Ostensibly a romantic Valentine’s Day piece, this was actually about randy U.S. presidents throughout history being unfaithful to their wives.
o Ouch – “Another president of passion was Warren G. Harding. And the ‘G’ must stand for ‘gentleman,’ because even though his wife was chronically ill, he still found time to sleep with other women!”
o This made me laugh – “FDR was so committed to his one true mistress, he even gave up walking so he could save all his energy for boning her. Ladies, if your man can walk, that’s a red flag!”
· Interview – Filmmaker Cord Jefferson
o In talking about America Fiction, Jefferson shared an anecdote demonstrating why the book really resonated with him – On a previous film project, he said, “They sent me back a note that a character, that a Black character, needed to be ‘blacker.’ And I said, I will indulge this note if whoever gave it is willing to sit down with me and tell me what it means to be blacker.”
o Jordan, noting that the film skewers the racial politics of white liberals, asked, “Do you get tired of talking with white liberals and having to explain race over and over to them?”
o Jefferson talked about the importance of getting the film’s tone right, explaining, “I wanted the film to be satirical but never farcical” – He added, “I feel like when satire gets kind of slapsticky, it sort of lets people off the hook. It sort of says like, ‘This entire thing’s a joke that you can laugh at. You don’t need it seriously.’”
o At the end of the interview, he teased, “Maybe after the Oscars, I’ll reveal that I’m a white guy. You guys don’t know. Maybe I’ve been in blackface the whole time and it’s just a big trick” – He and Jordan laughed about that, with Jefferson insisting, “I’m Tobey Maguire.”
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