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· Recap of the Week – Fox News Dominion lawsuit, Tennessee lieutenant governor’s social media scandal
o Good line – “If I may quote God on Judgment Day, I’d like to start with Fox News.”
o I loved John’s reaction to Tucker Carlson’s texts about Trump – “That is so harsh, I’d almost feel bad for Trump, if I wasn’t so sure he’s incapable of feeling anything beside anger, hunger, and the lower back of the nearest blonde woman.”
o John was gobsmacked at the interview Lt. Gov. Randy McNally about the gay thirst-trap posts he kept liking and commenting on from his official government account – “Did a witch put a spell on you, Randy? I genuinely appreciate the transparency, but you know you could just say ‘no,’ right? Nobody would believe you any more or less than they already do.”
o Nice remarks from John on virulently anti-gay politicians who keep getting caught up in gay scandals – “These are men who you feel could have had happier lives if they’d grown up in a different world. But instead of helping create that different world, they’ve courted the approval of homophobes who are intent on holding it back.”
· And Now This – Happy International Women’s Day, from the Men of Local News
o Oof, the guy who looked at his two female colleagues and declared, “My favorite girls.”
o We also had such gems as, “Let’s check in with the other woman on the staff,” and, “Is there an International Men’s Day?”
· Main Story – Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF)
o We opened this story on Brett Favre scamming TANF welfare money, then dove into how broken the system is as a whole – “In Mississippi last year, of roughly 190,000 children living in poverty in the state, just 2,600 were receiving money from TANF, while remember, of the roughly one Brett Favres in Mississippi, 100% of them manage to get $5 million for this fucking volleyball stadium.”
o We looked at the origins of welfare during the New Deal – After watching an old-timey newsreel about it, John exclaimed, “Wow! It is genuinely refreshing to hear that kind of voice saying such nice things, although given the time, I’m guessing that if he had just kept talking, he would have said something like, ‘Also, nothing calms a hysterical child like a good smack with a stick.’”
o While welfare was largely viewed as a social good when most of the families it helped were white, “As barriers preventing Black families from participating began to fall, people suddenly began to panic about whether these programs might actually encourage laziness and dependency.”
o This led to changes throughout the ‘80s and ‘90s that increased work requirements for eligibility and made recipients jump through burdensome hoops to keep their benefits – After sampling an album of “work ethic” music put out by the Riverside County DPSS, John commented, “You know, finally we have a recording that answers the question, ‘What if “We Are the World” fucked a cheap motivational poster?’”
o States are now in charge of doling out the (mostly inadequate) lump yearly sum they receive, with little oversight, which enables them to spend TANF funds on things like programs to “encourage the formation and maintenance of 2-parent families” and “prevent out-of-wedlock pregnancies” – “Oklahoma was at one point spending millions in TANF dollars on marriage counseling classes, including one called ‘Forever. For Real.’ Would you like to see an ad for it? Well, too bad, here it is!”
o With all this leeway to spend on other programs, only 9% of Oklahoma’s TANF money is actually going to cash assistance for families.
o One recipient shared how she lost her benefits because she couldn’t keep up with the required “job-seeking activities,” explaining that it wasn’t possible to interview for jobs as a single mom without childcare – “Right. It’s not easy to take your kid along into a job interview. That is why most job applications don’t come with a bonus big maze and a crayon.”
o Along woman lost her benefits because she failed to report in weekly while she was in a coma!
o This was infuriating – “Not only have you seen the bullshit some [states] spend it on instead, but you should know perhaps the most shocking thing that states spend TANF money on is absolutely nothing at all.” John explained that there was around $5.2 billion in unspent TANF funds sitting in state budgets.
o Great analogy – “Basically, TANF lifts people out of poverty the same way one of those arcade claw games lifts stuffed animals out of the machine, which is to say, easily just drops them right back where they started, and in many ways, the whole process is a giant ‘fuck you’ to kids.”
· And Now This – The Humble Beginnings of Rachael Ray
o A montage of Rachael Ray referencing her days as “a fountain girl at Howard Johnson’s,” or occasionally, “Ho Jo’s.”
o This made me smile – “When I got promoted to the fountain, I thought my life would be so amazing. It was like Cinderella, it was just so exciting!”
Our latest guest host is Kal Penn. He introduced himself saying, “Now, you might know me from my work as an actor, or from my work with President Barack Obama. Yeah, I plan on dropping his name all week.”
Monday, March 13
· Headlines – Oscars, January 6th Choir tops iTunes, Silicon Valley Bank collapse
o I laughed at Kal’s reaction to hearing the January 6th Choir – “Wow. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but those guys should stick to insurrecting.”
o Kal summed up what happened with Silicon Valley Bank – “It was like that bank-run scene from It’s a Wonderful Life, but if everyone was wearing Patagonia vests.”
o I loved Kal’s impression of Fox News’s coverage of the SVB story, which is leaning into an odd “woke bank” angle – “Oh right, the female head of risk management! She probably spent the bank’s money on shoes and abortions.”
o Michael came on to discuss the story, and he argued that every economic crisis can be blamed on “woke” – “Women get the right to vote in 1920. Nine years later, the Great Depression. Or how ‘bout this? Segregation ends in ’64. 17 years later, the recession of ’81 hits. Coincidence?”
· Interview – President Joe Biden
o Kal interviewed Biden at the White House. Here’s Biden explaining why he decided to run in 2020 – “I did it for three reasons. One, to restore the soul of this country. That’s not who we are. We’re a decent, honorable country that cares. We really are. We still are. Second one is to, you know, begin to take care of the middle class, because the middle class does well, the poor have a real shot and the wealthy do very well. And thirdly to unite the country.”
o They discussed issues such as climate, student loan debt, and attempts at bipartisanship in Congress.
o Kal wanted to know Biden’s personal trajectory concerning LGBTQ rights – Looking at things like “Don’t Say Gay” laws and bills targeting trans kids, Biden said, “What’s going on in Florida is, as my mother would say, close to sinful. I mean, it’s just terrible what they’re doing.”
o Biden also showed Kal around the Oval Office. He noted his surprise that his brother, who picked the artwork for the office, placed a portrait of FDR in such a prominent position, rather than Washington – “He said, ‘Because no one’s inherited a world economy in as much disarray as he had.’”
o Biden explained why he chose some of the busts that he did to decorate the Oval – He highlighted the bust of Cesar Chavez, recalling work that the United Farm Workers did in Pennsylvania early in Biden’s career.
Tuesday, March 14
· Headlines – Biden approves Alaskan drilling project on federal lands, presidential pardons for federal marijuana possession, NASA tracks asteroid, new study on flamingos, Newark falls for fake sister city scam
o I liked Kal’s impression of Biden flip-flopping on his previous claim, “No more drilling on federal lands, period!” – As Kal put it, “Period, period, period! …Comma.”
o Kal highlighted a wild technical feature of this drilling project, which will maintain the permafrost in order to drill even as it slowly melts due to climate change – “Keeping the permafrost alive so they can kill it slowly? That’s like some Silence of the Lambs serial-killer shit.”
o NASA is tracking an asteroid that’s on track to hit Earth decades from now on Valentine’s Day – “If you’re in a relationship, then in a way, it would kind of be beautiful to die on Valentine’s Day, you know? Making sweet love with your partner one last time—or if you’re married, laying in bed, too full from dinner to have sex, watching Paul Blart one last time.”
o The flamingo study concluded that they form cliques – “This is one of those studies where I feel like we have to learn more about the scientists who did this study. Because maybe the flamingos just didn’t want to hang out with them specifically.”
o We also got a funny bit about flamingo mean girls – “Do you see how short her neck is? Oh my god, it’s giving emu!”
o I loved the story of Newark becoming “sister cities” with a nation that doesn’t actually exist – “Jesus, Newark. How can an entire city get catfished? Not a single person realized they never heard of this country before? Not on the globe, not at the Olympics, not as a stage in Street Fighter? Look, if you can’t find it as a cuisine on Grubhub, it’s not a real country.”
o The con artist who executed the scam is wanted for sex crimes in India – “Although, to be fair, just because a city was started by a sex criminal doesn’t mean it’s fake. Just ask Thomas Jefferson.”
o Desi came on to discuss the city sister story but she was way too uncomfortable to actually affirm that the nation didn’t exist – “Whoa, Kal, their culture is not a costume!” she exclaimed, to which Kal replied in exasperation, “No, that is literally a costume.”
o Kal assured Desi, “I am giving you permission to criticize this fake country. On behalf of brown people, it’s okay” – Desi said, “Oh, I’m not worried about brown people, Kal. I’m worried about other white people. If I disrespect this fake nation, they’ll make my real Twitter a living hell.”
· Host Piece – NASCAR
o As a gay Indian American man who loves NASCAR, Kal wanted to highlight the fun of the sport and showcase other fans who don’t fit the usual stereotype – He spoke to driver Bubba Wallace, who said, “I think, you know, from outside looking in, especially minorities feel the stigma has been there that they’re not welcome. And I’ve always been like, that’s not really true.”
o Wallace was a good sport answering Kal’s question about how he deals with needing to use the bathroom during a race – “They always say, if you do pee in the car, then you’ve gotta be there Monday morning to clean it out.”
· Interview – Foreign Minister Biawal Bhutto Zadari
o Kal noted Biawal’s youth—he’s only 34—and wondered how that influenced his perspective on being the foreign minister of Pakistan – Biawal pointed out how young Pakistan is in general, with 60% of the population under 35.
o Biawal described Pakistan as a country that’s in the process of transitioning towards democracy – “I believe that Pakistan is facing a whole host of problems, but no matter the problem, the answer is more democracy.”
o He acknowledged his family wealth and the privilege that gives him during times of economic crisis, like the present – “What we have right now is a system where the elites like myself can weather these storms without much pain or without feeling much difference. But whether it is our deals with the IMF or our own internal economic policy, there’s an outsized burden on the poorest of the poor.”
o I liked Biawal’s thoughts on climate change – “I believe this is a problem too big for America to deal with on their own or just China to deal with on their own. This is something that the world has to come together and decide, are we going to be distracted by war and conflict and politics as usual, or are we going to find a solution to this problem?”
o He talked about what it’s been like to neighbor Afghanistan as the Taliban has taken back control following the U.S. withdrawal – “If there’s a regime that says that girls can’t get education in Afghanistan, it’s not going to be too long till politicians are going to start popping up in my neck of the woods, saying that we should also not let girls have access to education.”
Wednesday, March 15
· Headlines – ChatGPT update, Pentagon blocks sharing evidence of Russian war crimes, new EPA regulations on PFAS chemicals in water
o When ChatGPT was first released, it had a 10% of passing the bar exam. With its new update, that increases to 90% - “You hear that? In four months, this thing went from being born to acing the bar exam. What can your dumbass 4-month-old do?”
o Ayiyi – “That’s right. The Pentagon is saying, ‘We don’t want Russians to get prosecuted for committing war crimes, because then Americans could get prosecuted for war crimes.’ And look, I mean, I’m just spitballing here, but one solution could be that Americans just, not commit war crimes?”
o This was a reasonable point – “If you take a step back, it’s actually kind of crazy that there even is a concept of war crime. I mean, I’m glad there is, but you have to admit, it’s weird when you think about it. It’s like, yeah, obviously we’ll settle our differences by killing each other, but let’s do it like gentlemen.”
o While Kal applauded the EPA’s plan to regulate PFAS chemicals, he asked, “Do we really need months of public input on this? Like, who are the local weirdos who want to keep toxic water chemicals in the water?”
· Sketch – The “woke mind virus”
o Sigh – “Yep, Republicans are terrified of the ‘woke mind virus!’ I mean, to be clear, not terrified enough to support public healthcare to treat it, but terrified.”
o Kal took advantage of his past work on House to do this sketch where Kutner examines a patient suspected of having that very ailment – As a test, Kutner asked questions like, “Are you pissed off that Mr. Potato Head doesn’t have a penis?”
o Once he was sure of his diagnosis, Kutner urged immediate treatment, saying, “He could start saying ‘Latinx’ any minute.”
· Interview – Vanity Fair editor Radhika Jones
o Asked about the eclectic mix of guests at their famous Oscar parties, Jones said, “Vanity Fair is all about the mix, because we cover all of those things. We cover politics, we cover pop culture, we cover entertainment.”
o This was a nice remark – “When I got to Vanity Fair, I felt like it was such an important cultural property, and I got to take my role as editor-in-chief at a time when our culture was dramatically changing.”
o When Kal asked how she keeps discovering fascinating up-and-comers to profile, Jones explained, “I’m lucky to work with a team that’s just deeply curious and just kind of like, very omnivorous.”
Thursday, March 16
· Headlines – Catholic Church may change celibacy policy, Nebraska state senator filibusters anti-trans bill, massive seaweed bloom heads for Florida shore
o I had the same thought – “This is wild. The pope just decided that a 1000-year-old ban on sex was just ‘temporary’ the whole time?”
o The Nebraska state senator has been filibustering with things like describing the plot of Madagascar – Kal decided that was the “civil” approach, saying, “I would’ve just gone nuclear and just been like, ‘Kill this bill now or I spoil the end of The Last of Us!’”
o Good line – “Holy shit, that’s a lot of seaweed! It sounds like a plague God sends when he’s mad, but like, not that mad. Like, ‘I’m not hurricane angry, I’m just disappointed.’”
o Valid – “The worst part about all this seaweed is there’s nothing Florida can do about it. But it is Florida, so they’ll probably just try to shoot it.”
o Roy headed down to Florida too, gathering up the seaweed with a plan to sell it to white people. He said, “I just gotta get all this done before Gwyneth Paltrow has the same idea. She’ll steal it!” – Kal agreed, adding, “You gotta hurry, though, she stole turmeric from us.”
· Long Story Short – Younger voter turnout
o This was a great angle to take for this story – “The point is, the media loves to whine about young people not voting. But what gets much less attention is that the establishment feels so threatened by the power of young voters that they actually try to get them to not vote.”
o As such, we looked at active voter suppression efforts that target young people, often by focusing on college students – “One of those states is Texas, where you can’t use your student ID to vote, but you can use your gun permit. Which sure feels like a law made by Republicans to make it easier for other Republicans to vote.”
o Kal shared about his own experience fighting voter suppression measures in North Carolina during Obama’s first campaign, in which officials were trying to move voting machines from college campuses to a nearby suburb – “They were just like, ‘Okay, we’re doing this because college students are just less likely to vote than people in the suburbs.’ And then I was like, ‘Oh, well maybe college students don’t vote because you keep f**king taking their voting machines away!’”
o At North Carolina A&T, gerrymandering divided the campus between two different districts, diluting the students’ votes.
· Interview – Advocate/author Chasten Buttigieg
o Buttigieg was promoting the YA version of his memoir I Have Something to Tell You, which he described as the book he wished he could’ve had growing up.
o He had a pointed but civil response to Mike Pence’s tired homophobic jokes about his husband Pete as a recent event – “In my experience in presidential politics, it’s about who you bring into the fold, right? What you inspire people to believe. Believe in a better version of America. Especially in those early days. So I guess that’s how he wants to start his campaign, which I don’t think is surprising to any of us.”
o Fair observations, about what it’s been like since the family moved to D.C. for Pete’s cabinet position – “It is a tremendous opportunity for our family to have, you know, that chance to be part of something big. I certainly thought that people were elected to office to go in and make change in this country. And then I got there and realized that there are incredible people who are focused on improving people’s lives. And there are also people who use Washington just to audition to be on Tucker Carlson, you know.”
I liked Kal quite a bit. He had some strong headline pieces and displayed nice interview skills. He could stand to settle into his delivery a little more—he seemed pretty amped the whole thing—but on the whole, I thought he did well.
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