Saturday, November 12, 2022

News Satire Roundup: November 6th-November 10th

Sunday, November 6

·        Main Story – Election subversion

o   After just a few nods to the recap of the week—Heidi Klum was a giant worm for Halloween!—we jumped straight into the main story.

o   John thoroughly broke down the absurdity of a campaign ad in which the candidate shot a trash can labeled “voting machine” with an AR-15, then added this sobering statement – “Anyway, that man is completely ridiculous, and given the district where he’s running, he’s almost certainly going to win on Tuesday.”

o   In fact, “over half the country has an election denier running to oversee their elections, and many of them are expected to win.”

o   This comment, about a guy touting the Big Lie at a Trump rally, was great – “Look, no wonder Trump likes that message. Also, it probably doesn’t hurt that it’s coming from a guy who looks like a smaller, paler version of him. Just look at that man! He looks like the Pokemon that Trump evolves from.”

o   We looked at how many places unsuccessfully tried to subvert the 2020 election, like the election commission for Wayne County, Michigan, suggesting they certify all the votes… except for Detroit’s – “Generally, when a white person says, ‘I have a compromise,’ and starts doing electoral fractions that count Black people less, those haven’t been great moments for democracy.”

o   So true – “In state after state, we were very lucky that a group of individuals in key positions stood firm.” 2022 puts us in a very different place, given that election deniers are now running for the same positions that held back the tide last time.

o   This made me laugh – “Steve Bannon, pictured here drowned.”

o   I liked John’s response to this phrase, taken from a threatening message sent to an election official – “By the way, ‘Founding Caucasian Fathers’ is just one hell of a phrase, because it either comes from the mouth of a racist or someone with strong opinions on the casting decisions in Hamilton because they are a racist.”

o   John had a great reaction to Mark Kampf, who argues that proof of voter fraud is less important than people’s fears about voter fraud – “Wow: ‘Whether it’s true or not, their perception is their reality.’ I have got to say, that is a risky start for a guy whose name is almost Mein Kampf. Again, it’s literally not, but I’ve seen his name written down hundreds of times while working on this piece, and every single time, my brain autocorrects it to ‘Mein Kampf.’ But eventually, my perception will become reality.”

o   At the end of the piece, John broke down all of the dozens of little ways election deniers in positions of power could come together to undermine 2022 and beyond, laying out a serious argument of the threat U.S. democracy is facing.

o   I appreciated this statement – “I know this all sounds dramatic, and I do not want to be too alarmist. I don’t mean to sound like Chicken Little here—I mean, I don’t mean to look like him either, but some things are just out of our hands, aren’t they? Because the odds of Kari Lake unilaterally picking our next president are thankfully slim, but odds of her and others like her being able to create a complete mess are significantly higher.”

o   Ha! Valid – “For the record, one of the big clues that these conspiracy theories are bullshit is that so many of them are predicated on the belief that the Democratic Party is well-organized. Who on earth is stupid enough to buy that bullshit?!?”

o   Great ending, with Nick Offerman doing his own response to the trash-can-shooting campaign ad from the top of the piece.

 

Monday, November 7

·        Main Story – Midterms

o   Opening blurb on new COVID strains competing to become the dominant variant this winter – “You know, honestly, I feel a little bad for the variant that becomes dominant now, you know? Yeah, because like, everyone has stopped caring. It’s kind of like, if you won an early season of American Idol, then you were famous. But if you win season 34 now, this is just a story you tell your coworkers at the coffee machine, you know?”

o   I loved Trevor’s reaction to another opening blurb, about Elon Musk trying to walk back some of his massive layoffs at Twitter – “I’m gonna be honest. I’m going to put it out there. If he’s handling Twitter like this, I don’t know how comfortable I would be going with this dude to Mars.”

o   Good description of the midterms – “It’s that time in American politics where the voters get to send their order back to the kitchen, because they don’t like how it tastes. Mm, too much inflation.”

o   I appreciated this point, about the “Red Wave” predictions – “Keep in mind, that’s all based on the polls—which, to be honest, bugs me about American politics. Because polls are just, like, an idea, like what a person says, what they maybe are going to do. And that’s why they’re often wrong.”

o   I loved Trevor’s response to the crowd booing the idea that Trump would soon announce that he’s running in 2024 – “Yeah, but he’s gonna wait for the midterms first. Because he wants to do the responsible thing and see if his election deniers get into power, so they can steal the election for him. He’s waiting. It’s good.”

o   Fantastic Trump impression, based around Trevor’s observation that he often gives speeches on airport tarmacs, as if he doesn’t want to stay one second longer than he has to – “I want to get out of here before these rednecks can touch me! You saw what they did to Mike Pence! These people are dangerous!”

·        Correspondent Piece (Desi) – Poll worker shortage

o   An election official Desi spoke with summed up the problem pretty bluntly – “A poll worker is our first line of defense. Without them, we cannot run an election.”

o   Valid – “Yeah, it’s a thankless job because nobody thinks about it until an election year. And they just assume that the polling places show up, and that they’re just there.”

o   I liked this perspective, from a veteran who works to recruit other vets to be poll workers – “Coming from the military, being a poll worker is kind of like the same thing. I mean, you’re helping your community, not at the level of politics, but at the level of civics, to make some democracy.”

·        Interview – Comedian Gabriel Iglesias

o   Trevor brought up that Iglesias invited him to join him on the road when Trevor first came to the U.S., and they shared a lot of stories and traveling the country together and performing in clubs.

o   Iglesias explained why he’s regarded as a joyous, feel-good comedian – “I try not to get in people’s faces. It’s always a good time. I’m not trying to preach to you. I’m not trying to tell you what shot to take. I’m not trying to tell you who to vote for. I’m not trying to tell you how to live your life. I’m just sharing stories. And people can relate to that.”

o   He also mentioned he was working on a new project for Netflix, with none other than Jorge R. Gutiérrez! – He had roles in both The Book of Life and Maya and the Three (where he voiced Picchu!), so he comes by it honestly.

Tuesday, November 8

·        Main Story – The midterms

o   Unsurprisingly, there was only one story to talk about tonight.

o   Trevor cited people who’ve called this “the most important election of our lifetimes,” then noted that that’s been said about every election since 2016 – “Which I know makes some people say, well, clearly, none of these elections are as important as people say. They always say it’s the most important election. But maybe—maybe we’re thinking of it wrong, you know? Maybe everything is getting worse and worse, which makes every election more and more important.”

o   Good line – “All around the country, people turned up to vote, everywhere from Arizona to Pennsylvania to Wisconsin to a bunch of states that the media doesn’t even care about.”

o   The correspondents reported in from various locales. Over at the DNC headquarters, Roy shared some of Democrats’ last-minute pitches to voters – “Here’s another one Democrats are promising. They’re promising to make another season of The Office, and for Black voters, Martin.”

o   Michael was hanging out at the “Election Deniers” headquarters – At the end of his bit, he said, “I gotta go. Everyone’s heading over to the Capitol to celebrate—or to storm it. We’ll see when we get there.”

o   Meanwhile, Dulcé was ready to start speculating about 2024 – She said, “We got to move on. 2022, it’s old news, okay? That shit is over,” to which Trevor replied, “It’s literally not over.”

o   But Dulcé was undeterred from talking about the next presidential election, calling Oprah “the wildcard in this race” – When Trevor asked, shocked if she was running, Dulcé said, “She didn’t say she’s not! So as far as I’m concerned, she is.”

·        CP Time (Roy) – History of Black governors

o   The first Black governor in the U.S. was P.B.S. Pinchback, who briefly served as governor of Louisiana in 1872, after the lieutenant governor passed away and the governor was impeached – “Pinchback was born in Georgia to a Black slave mother and a white plantation owner, who emancipated his baby mama, which would have made for one hell of a Maury episode.”

o   After that it took over 100 years for a Black governor to be elected – That was Douglas Wilder, who became governor of Virginia in 1989.

o   Next up was Deval Patrick – “In 2006, Deval became the first Black governor of Massachusetts, succeeding the whitest governor of Massachusetts, Mitt Romney. It was like going from watching Frasier to the BET Awards.”

o   The fourth and, until this election, last Black governor was David Paterson, who became governor of New York in 2008 after his predecessor resigned due to scandals – Since he was also the first blind governor in the U.S., Roy called him a “political Stevie Wonder.”

·        Interview – Actress Thuso Mbedu

o   It came out a while ago, but Mbedu was there to talk about The Woman King.

o   She and Trevor spent a lot of time discussing the incredible action and the intense training she and the other actresses went through to prepare for the film – Mbedu explained, “Gina, our director, does not believe in stunt doubles […] And so part of my audition for the movie was going through a physical and fitness to determine whether I’d be able to do my own stunts or not.”

o   I liked her explanation for what she wants to do with her new production company – “I think, more than anything, you know, I want to create the stories that are innately in us. Because growing up and being in this industry, one, you believe that you can be anything until you get to the industry and they tell you no, you can’t. And so, what are those stories?”

Wednesday, November 9

·        Main Story – Midterm results

o   This was an interesting observation, about how the GOP looks to be heading toward a narrow House majority with the Senate still a toss-up – “It’s definitely not the huge win that they were expecting. So it feels like a loss, which is really strange to me about politics. You know? It’s the only place where you can technically win, but still lose because people thought you were going to win more.”

o   This made me laugh – “John Fetterman looks like he can physically raise the debt ceiling!”

o   Great bit – “It turns out abortion rights didn’t fade away as a concern. And it’s crazy that people ever thought it would. You know? Like, what women out there would be like, ‘You know, it really bothered me over the summer when the state government wanted to take control of my reproductive system. But now I’m like, whatever. Yeah, maybe my body is their choice. I don’t know.’”

o   I loved Trevor’s impression of GOP members now wavering uncertainly between Trump and Ron DeSantis – “Oh, if I had principles, I would follow them. But I just want to be on the winning side. Oh, which one do I go with?”

o   So wild that Katie Britt is the first woman from Alabama ever elected to the U.S. Senate.

o   I liked Trevor imagining what it’ll be like for Maxwell Frost as the first Gen Zer in Congress – “‘And that’s why my district and the people of it deserve the—what? What, Chuck? No, just swipe up. Swipe up to close the app. No, swipe—no, don’t click that. There are not really hot singles in the area. It’s a trick, Chuck! It’s a trick!’”

o   Desi was the headline correspondent, and she was really excited that her home state of Kentucky voted to protect abortion rights – “Huge! Kentucky, Trevor, the state where women have fewer rights than most horses.”

o   She also applauded New York and Massachusetts electing their first female governors, although she also had questions – “If we’re being honest, how is this only happening now in New York and Massachusetts? These two states have been states since the beginning of states. You know how long women have been around? Like, at least that long, maybe more.”

·        Ballots measures against slavery

o   Oh, man – “All right, America! Four out of five states said no to slavery in the year 2022. That’s what I’m talking about!”

o   Roy reported on the situation in Louisiana, where their measure did not pass, but he made it clear that he wasn’t reporting from Louisiana – “No, no, no. I’m not in Louisiana. I’m on the Mississippi side of the border. And that’s as far as I’m going.”

o   Trevor explained in Louisiana, as in other states that haven’t abolished it, slavery is only legal as punishment for a crime, but Roy still wasn’t having it – “No thank you! I am safer here in Mississippi, which is something no Black man has ever said.”

·        Interview – Journalist/author Mark Leibovich

o   Leibovich’s new book sounded really interesting to me – “This is not another book about Donald Trump. This is about the party that enabled him. This is a book about the people who bowed down to him, who could have stopped him, and yet, continue to under-perform in elections like they did last night.”

o   Nice point here – “What I was scared about was yesterday’s election being the red wave that so many people anticipated, which would have vindicated all of this. It would have vindicated the character flaws, the weakness, the patheticness that so many of them—who could stop it. And if there were ten Liz Cheneys, it would be different. But there’s only one.”

o   I loved this observation from Trevor – “It really illuminates, I think, many of the things that are wrong with American politics in that it has become more about staying in the job as opposed to doing the job that somebody has put you in.”

Thursday, November 10

·        Ain’t Nobody Got Time for That – Colorado ballot proposition to legalize mushrooms, Sean Penn loans his Oscar to Ukraine’s President Zelenskyy, blue-check impersonations on Twitter, Vogue sues Drake and 21 Savage for fake cover

o   An easy joke, but I smiled – “Personally, I’m all for drug laws getting less restrictive. And if they do officially legalize shrooms, I’m also excited for their next ballot measure: Why are my hands so big?”

o   I loved Trevor’s stunned reaction to a video clip for Sean Penn loaning President Zelenskyy his Oscar (for the war effort?) – After a long stretch of false starts and looking at the camera, he finally said, “I don’t even know how to process this information. Am I on mushrooms? Is this happening already?”

o   Awesome bit – “Oh, no. Because anyone can buy verification, they’re now impersonating famous people. Who could have seen this coming? What? Everyone? Wow! Where were you guys $44 billion ago?”

o   Vogue is suing Drake and 21 Savage over a fake cover they made of themselves as part of a promotional campaign – “To be honest, I don’t know if Vogue has a case here. You can clearly tell that this was a fake cover. I mean, Vogue lighting Black people properly, this is clearly not real.”

·        Correspondent Piece (Ronny) – Asian American veterans

o   Good line – “Asians have served in the US military for almost as long as America has fought in wars, which is basically the whole time. America loves wars so much, it wants to have its babies, and then send those babies to go fight in the next war.”

o   Corporal Joseph Pierce held the highest rank achieved by a Chinese American soldier in the Civil War – “Yeah, there were white soldiers in the 1800s who were taking orders from an Asian guy. Because those guys were #allies. And they didn’t even need to brag about it on Instagram.”

o   I liked Ronny’s description of Captain Nieves Fernandez, a Filipino schoolteacher who engaged in guerilla warfare during WWII and “Kill Billed half an army,” taking out 200 Japanese soldiers!

o   We also looked at Lieutenant Colonel Tammy Duckworth, who received the Purple Heart after her helicopter was shot down in Iraq – “I don’t know why it’s purple. I guess whoever designed it was a huge Prince fan.”

·        Interview – Filmmaker/actor Jordan Peele

o   Peele brushed off confusion about the comedy and horror aspects of his career – “I think the comedy part of my career is still going. I think it’s still active. And part of that—I talk about it as sort of like the difference between comedy and horror is the music. And it really does—it does feel like that.”

o   Interesting observation from Trevor – “It feels like you were the only person who wasn’t surprised about the filmmaker you would turn into. And I think it’s because you came from this world of sketch. And sketch always seems unplanned and unprepared. It seems off the cuff. But there’s so much work that goes into it.”

o   I liked Peele’s explanation for his most recent film Nope – “This one wanted to be about this idea that was sort of forming in my head that there’s some people, there are some things in this world that are these bad miracles. These are these things that are so entertaining that we’re blinded to the danger of them.”

o   After listening to a clip of Quiet Part Loud, Peele’s new horror podcast, Trevor asked, “Do you know what people normally use podcasts for? Are you familiar?”

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