Relationship Spotlight: MJ & Peter (Spider-Man)

*Spoilers.*

I’ll be honest: I didn’t do a Relationship Spotlight for these two after Far from Home because they’d only just gotten together toward the end of the movie, and after No Way Home, I only had eyes for the three Spider-Men. But I’m circling back around now because I like this version of MJ a lot, and Peter’s relationship with her is a lot of fun.

Peter and MJ have had a different sort of relationship journey throughout the MCU. She hasn’t been The One for him from the first moment of Homecoming, and once they do get together, their relationship is very tied up in Peter’s role as Spider-Man—not to mention, this version of MJ is pretty different than what we’re used to. But their dynamic is interesting and enjoyable to watch.

In Homecoming, MJ is nearly a periphery character—or at least she would be if she weren’t played by Zendaya—and Peter spends most of the film obsessed with Liz. In turn, though, MJ is a little obsessed with him, in a totally obvious but offbeat way. She just sort of turns up where he is around school, but instead of confidently flirting or getting flustered/tongue-eyed, she mostly delivers some deadpan snark and plays it cool. We also see that she’s tuned into Peter in a way that a lot of the other kids aren’t: since becoming Spider-Man, he’s given up most of his extracurriculars, a fact that only she picks up on. She puts it down to her observant nature, rather than any personal investment she has in him, but the lady doth protest too much.

We don’t see how or why Peter comes to develop a crush on MJ, but by the time Far from Home starts, he’s all aboard the “how do I get with MJ?” train. It’s cute that he very specifically likes her weirdness, planning to get her a dahlia necklace, which is her favorite flower “because of the murders.” He’s lying to her about his identity, because he’s lying about that to most people, but when it comes to wanting to date her, he’s into her for who she is, not for who he’s built her up in his head to be.

Because he’s Peter and superhero business just follows him around, a lot gets in the way before he’s able to confess his feelings to MJ… which is then undercut because she assumes he’s about to tell her that he’s Spider-Man. See, her powers of observation about the boy she likes have uncovered more than she expected. But somehow, eventually, between drone-induced holographic attacks, they make it work.

Once they become a couple, MJ is a grounding influence for Peter. I like that he’s excited to take her web-slinging and she completely freaks out, letting him know that she’s in no hurry to do that again. For her, it’s not a heroic/romantic way to impress her—it’s just throttling through the air across the city with only his webs to keep them from splatting on the pavement. And when Peter’s secret identity is exposed and his life turns upside down, he’s able to feel his most normal in the moments where he can sneak away with MJ. She’s not intimidated by the public knowing that she’s “Spider-Man’s girlfriend,” and she stands by Peter through the media firestorm, making fun of the tabloid nonsense being printed about him.

Like most Spider-Men, Peter wants to keep MJ away from his superhero duties for her own safety, but when she makes it clear that she’s not leaving him to do all of it alone, he’s mostly able to respect that. He still has moments where he pulls away, but he lets her in enough to help—I love watching MJ and Ned work together “behind the lines,” so to speak, in No Way Home, two non-powered people who love Peter trying to give him a hand in any way they can.

Which is why it’s so dispiriting when, after being forced to remove his secret identity from everyone’s memory, Peter doesn’t keep his promise to find MJ (and Ned) to tell her the truth. I understand why he backs down—Peter spends a lot of time trying to protect others, and he gets it in his head that both of them are better off without being tangled up in his Spider-Man life—but he’s still going expressly against MJ’s wishes before she lost her memories of him. I’m apprehensive about how the franchise will move forward with this relationship, because if Peter and MJ do end up making a second go of it, 1) I need MJ to learn what went down with this whole thing, and 2) I need her to have time and space to be properly upset about it. This wasn’t cool, Peter, and I want you to have to reckon with that.