Sunday, November 14
· Recap of the Week – January 6th insurrection participants, Rep. Gosar posts a mocking video threatening Rep. Ocasio-Cortez
o This January 6th reference handily (and depressingly) sums up 2021 – “That’s right: this year started with that, and against all better judgment, kept going.”
o John mocked one “Stop the Steal” proponent for fleeing to Belarus – “Oh, great idea, Evan! You’re worried about political persecution, so you go to Belarus, a country run by a man who calls himself ‘the last and only dictator in Europe.’”
o I loved John’s exasperated response to a woman insisting that they were only “storming the Capitol with words” – “What are you talking about, you Marjorie Taylor Wanna-Greene? ‘Storming with words’? That’s not a thing! That’s never been a thing! If you look up ‘thing’ in the dictionary, I’m pretty sure it says, ‘NOT storming with words.’”
o I loved the description of Gosar as, among other things, “guy who looks like he occasionally Googles, ‘Why aren’t there more breakfast soups?’”
o While John doubted that Gosar was legitimately threatening AOC, that didn’t mean he though the violent video was okay – “If we’ve learned anything from January 6th, and it seems that we have not learned nearly enough, it’s that it’s very easy for a joke to become reality and that a troubling number of people don’t seem to understand the difference between ‘storming the Capitol metaphorically’ and physically.”
· And Now This – Brian Kilmeade’s questions
o My favorites here were, “Why do all newborns have the same blanket?” and, “Do you think the sharks know it’s Shark Week?”
· Main Story – Union busting
o I loved this sage wisdom in response to Amazon’s flipflopping over whether or not their workers have had to pee in bottles – “‘Tis better to seek forgiveness than permission …unless this is about piss bottles, in which case, take a look at yourself, man. What are you even doing?” The cherry on top was attributing it to Mahatma Gandhi!
o John didn’t trust Jeff Bezos saying that the decision to unionize was up to his workers, even though he didn’t personally think Amazon needs a union – “I don’t know about you, but I’m personally not comforted by hearing one of the richest men on Earth say, ‘It’s your choice.’ No matter the context, all I can hear is, ‘Spear or arrow: how would you prefer to be hunted? It’s your choice.’”
o A lot of corporations have compulsory-attendence meetings designed to discourage workers from unionizing – when one company referred to these as “union training,” John likened it to get “dog training” classes from “the original dogicidal bad bitch,” Cruelle de Vil.
o I loved this response to the fearmongering tactic of claiming that a lot of union contracts secure worse wages and benefits for workers – “Think about how ridiculous that argument is. If companies genuinely thought unions would negotiate worse terms for their employees, they’d be welcoming them in with open arms. Jeff Bezos would’ve shown up to that interview in a Che Guevara T-shirt if he thought it would help him pay people less!”
o In truth, unionized workers earn 25% higher wages than their non-union counterparts, on average.
o John pointed out that outlawing companies from threatening to shut down if workers unionize isn’t very useful, since they’re still about a predict the company will shut down – “When a loan shark threatens to break your legs, that’s not meaningfully different from a loan shark predicting that legs will be broken as a result of market forces relating to lack of payment.”
o John was stunned at the tactics of a union-buster turning a closure of a Detroit GM plant into a unionization-is-short-hop-to-Skid-Row horror story – “Wow! That is a level of fearmongering rarely seen outside an abstinence-only sex ed class. Don’t join a union unless you want to end up pregnant, divorced, homeless, and Detroit.”
o The story ended with the show “helpfully” offering corporations their own union-busting video, which was of course much more forthright than the ones the companies use – I loved, “Unions might work in a lot of places, but the thing is, here we’re family, and you employees are children.”
o I also loved that one of the anti-union posters featured in the video just said, “Unions Feast on Corpse Mea.t”
· Finally – Season Finale
o To cap off the running gag of John summoning George Clooney with a snap of his fingers, Clooney decided to cheer John up after a hard 2021 by temporarily granting him the power to summon any number of random celebrities.
o I especially liked the sight gag of Will Ferrell embroidering his face on a tea towel, John trying to convince Cardi B. that he wasn’t Alexa, and Leslie Jones shouting, “White man won’t leave! White man won’t leave!” before trying to banish him I Dream of Jeannie-style.
o Also making an appearance? The White Void, hosting its own show now! – Naturally, it’s called White Void Tonight with The Void.
Monday, November 15
· Headlines – January 6th investigation
o Sums it up nicely – “Like any innocent person, Trump has told all his people not to cooperate with law enforcement at all.”
o Trevor thought that Trump apparently asking Mike Pence before January 6th if he was “a patriot or a pussy” was misguided – “Oftentimes history is made by pussies. I mean, Gandhi, total pussy. Yeah. Britain was like, ‘Are you going to fight us or are you a pussy?’ And Gandhi said, ‘I am a pussy. Be the pussy you wish to see in the world. That is what we need more of.’”
· Main Story – Rising gas prices
o An easy joke, but it made me laugh – “Groceries are more expensive. Cars are more expensive. Ty Dolla Sign is now Ty Dolla Fifty! I can’t afford that shit anymore.”
o Good silly fun – “People may be driving again, but that doesn’t mean that it’s easy for gas producers to just instantly produce as much as they were before. You got to grow a whole new dinosaur and smoosh it until the oil comes out. That takes time.”
o A fair point, on OPEC deliberately withholding supply to raise prices – “Look, you can understand OPEC’s position. I mean, how much longer is oil gonna be around? Right? They need to make money on this shit now before we’re all driving Elon Musk’s cars that curse out Bernie Sanders when you honk the horn.”
· Correspondent piece (Roy) – ICU bed shortage
o A “Leo Deblin” bit, with Roy offering a convenient, mobile “ICU 2 U” service – “Do you need an ICU bed? But they’re all filled up because nobody in your state got the vax, and you need surgery, but the doctors say your appendix can’t burst until the year 2023.”
o The bit captured a lot of the particular “charm” of the the hospital experience – I smiled at, “Recuperate with one of these 20-inch TVs from 2004.”
· Interview – Former Governor Chris Christie
o Christie was on to promote his new book, and while some of the things he said were encouraging, it’ll all depend on if he really means them – For example, “If we don’t become the party of telling the truth again, we got no hope for anybody to trust us to do anything.”
o Trevor wasn’t sure about Christie’s optimistic take on the GOP’s ability to jettison Trump over his election lies – “For many years, it was the party, right? Which many would argue is what good politics is. It’s about the party, and it’s about people who vote for the party. Now it has become about Trump. People say, ‘I’m a Trumper. I vote for Donald Trump.’ The Republican Party comes second to that. That means one man can determine the vision and the mission that doesn’t necessarily coincide with conservatism, whatever that may be in this day and age.”
o Part of the subtitle of Christie’s book was about Biden’s “dangerous policies,” but while Trevor asked, Christie never fully explained what was dangerous about them – The most Trevor got out of them is that Biden’s policies have been more progressive than those he campaigned on.
Tuesday, November 16
· Headlines – Lower flu vaccination rates among Republicans, Russia launches missile test in space, trial for Ahmaud Arbery’s murder, safe driving provision in the new infrastructure law
o Good line – Trevor noted that differences in flu vaccination rates along political lines is “a side effect of how COVID has become a political football, or as Americans call it, a political soccer.”
o Loved this – “Guys, the flu shot has been around since forever. You can’t decide now to hate it! It would be like if everyone suddenly decided to hate Betty White. I mean, we were all cool with her for 140 years. What changed?”
o Dulcé was the headline correspondent. She couldn’t get her head around the vaccine resistance either, but she suggested we at least use it to our advantage – I enjoyed her idea of thwarting any future insurrections by arming the Capitol polices with syringes, threatening to vaccinate would-be insurrectionists.
o This made me smile – “That’s right. Russia blew up a satellite with a rocket. And I keep saying this, but guys, these gender reveals are getting out of hand!”
o The lawyer for one of the men who murdered Ahmaud Arbery complained about having too many Black pastors in the courtroom – “I’m not saying this guy is racist, but when you’re representing a guy who killed a Black man just for jogging in the wrong neighborhood, it’s not a great look to be pointing into the gallery and going, ‘Hey, this Black guy doesn’t belong here. We should do something about that! Come on, Jasper, you want to do it again?’”
o Dulcé pointed out that the lawyer’s complaint was undermined by his own words – “He said it’s a public gallery. They are the public. Anybody can show up.”
o So true, about the infrastructure law – “Why are they even having a bill-signing celebration? Passing laws is their job. Nobody else gets to do that at their job. Like, after you make photocopies for your boss at the office, you don’t get to pose for pictures while shaking hands.”
o The law includes a provision for manufacturing new vehicles to recognize and shut down when their driver is drunk, but Dulcé didn’t think such a technological solution was necessary – “This is when we need these Karens to activate. You out here calling the cops in a damn Victoria Secret. No, bitch, you need to be out here at this Buffalo Wild Wings getting your uncle and your daddy. That’s what you need to be doing.”
· Correspondent Piece (Ronny) – Thanksgiving arguments
o This was the same “prove me wrong” man-on-the-street bit that Dulcé previously did, but for my money, it worked better with Ronny. He just has that belligerent personality that makes people want to argue with him about stupid stuff. Some of the folks debating him got heated!
o Ronny was not impressed with this woman’s insistence that Thanksgiving wasn’t “the worst holiday” – “But it’s fun! Peeling vegetables… with family!”
o I laughed out loud at this line, during a pilgrim-themed debate about why “all shoes should have buckles” – “No, I don’t need people’s feet to breathe. I’m not Quentin Tarantino.”
o I enjoyed that the woman Ronny declared the winner of an argument then got to take over his Times Square argument booth, complete with pilgrim hat and bullhorn.
· Interview – Artist/activist Ai Weiwei
o Trevor noted that Ai’s memoir, in which he talks about being detained by the Chinese government for his artwork, is also the story of his father’s detention – “I think without understanding my father’s time and his struggle, which is about China – about the political situation, culture, background of China – I never really can clearly indicate what I have been through.”
o Ai talked about his love for China and its people, despite his feelings about its government – “They are under a system which really struggles in every sense—politically and human rights, freedom of speech. Almost every topic, it really struggles. So, how should I put myself, right, my personal life, into this large context? It’s why I have to write this book, to figure it out.”
o I liked this comment, about the power of art that has something to say – “I think the value is shared by everybody, mostly for the people who have no chance to speak out and live their life in dark. For generations, you know, they have no way to see the justice ever being presented.”
Wednesday, November 17
· Headlines – LA Staples Center is renamed, online abuse for John Mayer from Taylor Swift fans
o Trevor’s response to the handwringing over the Staples Center being renamed made me laugh – “It’s not like Staples is a sacred name from the ancestors. It’s a store where you buy 50 packs of binders even though you only need one.”
o An overprotective Taylor Swift fan wished death on John Mayer in his DMs but quickly backpedaled when he responded, asking if they really wanted him to die – “You see, people, this is what I hate about social media: it makes people act shittier than they actually are, which then makes us think that people are shittier than they actually are.”
o Desi was the headline correspondent – She told Trevor, “If you think John Mayer’s DMs are rough, you should see the DMs of any woman on the Internet,” adding, “it’s either death threats or requests to see your feet. Every time.”
· Main Story – Rep. Paul Gosar
o As the House voted to censure Gosar for retweeting a violent anime meme depicting him killing Rep. Ocasio-Cortez, he compared himself to Alexander Hamilton, who was also censured by Congress – “Uh, yeah, I don’t know if this makes you the same as Alexander Hamilton. You know what this is like? This is like Jeffrey Epstein’s girlfriend taking the stand like, ‘If I must be tried in court just as Jesus was, then so be it.’ ‘No, no, lady, lady, it’s the same process, but these are very different crimes.’”
o Great description of the Tea Party – “The movement that pretended to care about the national debt, but only while Obama was in office.”
o So valid – “You know, I always find it funny how white supremacists want to take America back to its roots. But not like the original roots, you know? Just like the roots of when white people were in charge.”
o Trevor was amused by the fact Rep. Gosar was interrupted from contesting election results in Congress on January 6th by the mob of insurrectionists he’d helped stir up – “Ah, the irony: interrupted by his own mob. You see, this is why when you are fomenting a coup, you got to coordinate, you know, send out a Doodle, let the mob know you’re speaking to overturn the election at 1:30, so maybe they could overtake the police barricade at 2:00, maybe, you know?”
· Correspondent Piece (Dulcé) – The history of Black marching bands
o Great line – “It’s the one time Black people get to march without Fox News calling them rioters.”
o Wild that Black men in colonial days formed fife and drum corps specifically because 1) they were prohibited from carrying weapons 2) they were still required to serve in the militia – “And they needed a fife and drum corp back then, in case the armies ran out of bullets and had to resort to a rap battle.”
o This made me laugh, about the first HBCU marching band director to incorporate heavy choreography into band routines – “That must have been cruel for all those band nerds who thought that going to college meant no more gym class. Oh, you thought you were done running? Mmm mmm. Now you gotta do it with a tuba!”
· Interview – Former NBA player Dwyane Wade
o In discussing his new photo memoir, Wade talked about what message he hoped to send to all the “little Dwyanes” who would read it – “For me, it was important that I show the human side of, you know, what people look at as an athlete, because they met me as an athlete. But I’m human. And so I wanted to show a little of that.”
o Though he’s no longer in the NBA, Wade was still optimistic and enthusiastic about his future – “I feel like I’m in my rookie season in life again. I’m in the pregame. I’m in the pregame again, in this new step, this new walk.”
o I loved this, about his response to his daughter coming out as transgender – “At that moment I had no answers. The only answer that I knew and that I had was that this is my child, I love them, and I hate the pain that my child is in, right?”
Thursday, November 18
· International News – Signs of Russian plan to invade Ukraine, Belarus weaponizes migrants, rising smog in India, missing Chinese tennis champion
o Trevor wasn’t impressed with the U.S.’s statement of support for Ukraine – “Yeah. That’s what I want from my allies, is for them to watch very closely as someone whips my ass.”
o Great point that Russia may be invading at an ideal time, since history has shown that taking the fight to them in the winter doesn’t end well – “This will not stand, Russia! Your ass is gonna pay—as soon as mid-April rolls around. Depends on what the groundhog says.”
o I shared Trevor’s disgust at Belarus’s move to fly in migrants from the Middle East specifically to create border crises for neighboring countries – “It’s especially cruel to these migrants. These are real people who are just trying to live better lives. It is disgusting to use them as weapons. I mean, say what you want about Drake and Kanye’s beef, but at least they didn’t catapult Mexicans at each other.”
o The State Department is urging Americans in Ethiopia to get out but has explained that there will be no “Afghan-style evacuation” in the country – “I don’t even know what that means! What does it mean when they say, ‘The State Department will help you book a commercial flight out’? That’s not helpful. People know how to book flights. That’s like going, ‘Hey! Hey, you, do you need a ride? Do you need a ride? Yeah, well, I’m happy to help. So, what you got to do is open Uber on your phone, then you hit “request a ride.” Best of luck, buddy.’”
o Great point – “This is a great example of why we all need to move to cleaner energy. Because, yes, it is expensive to do, but it is also hella expensive to constantly shut down the economy when your city turns into a sandstorm from Dune.”
o Tennis star Peng Shuai has essentially disappeared from the Chinese Internet after she accused a former party official of sexual assault on her social media – “Look, it’s one thing for your government to come after you. It’s another thing for them to just make you never exist. I mean, they scrubbed the Internet of anything about this tennis player. Do you know how hard it is to get stuff off of the Internet? Only China can do that. In fact if you have embarrassing pictures online or problematic tweets, just move to China and talk shit about the Communist Party. Yeah, they’ll clean up your reputation in no time. I mean, yeah, you’ll be locked up in a basement somewhere, but hey, at least you didn’t get canceled!”
· Correspondent Piece (Desi) – Thanksgiving on a budget amid inflation
o Silly but amusing “advice” – I liked, “You can also check Craigslist for some perfectly good gently-used turkeys. Now, why should this go to a landfill just because one person already owned it?”
o Desi’s stuffing recipe – “You don’t need to take out a second mortgage or start an OnlyFans to pay for all the ingredients that you need. Most of us have perfectly-good stuffing already, right inside our kids’ teddy bears.”
· Interview – Actress/director Halle Berry
o Very interesting that Berry’s new film Bruised, which she both directs and stars in, was initially meant to star Blake Lively – “I thought, this is the kind of role that I would kill for. It’s meaty, it’s juicy, I get to use all my physicality. Except it wasn’t written for someone like me, so that was the impetus for reimagining it.”
o Trevor noted that women in the UFC, like Berry’s character in the film, have a lot in common with women in Hollywood, in that they constantly have to fight to prove their continued worth – Berry said, “One of the big misconceptions is that after I won that Oscar, somehow the script truck just backed up right to my front door. But no truck came! My fight didn’t even get any easier. I still had to face that I was a Black woman in the industry and there was no real way for me to be getting paid if I didn’t figure that out for myself.”
o I really liked what Berry said about directing – “I think what I loved most is, I got to have this idea in my head, and I got to shape it and form it, and reshape it and reform it, and I got to sort of bring to the screen pretty much exactly what I had in my head.”
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