Favorite Characters: Ramy (Ramy)

When I reviewed Ramy, I couldn’t help but gush a little over the title character, but I had to come back for another round of it. Obviously, “young person tries to figure out who they are and what they want from life” is a common premise in a variety of genres and media, and you can see all sorts of examples of the coming-of-age/Bildungsroman story done right, wrong, and assorted degees in between. In the case of Ramy – and Ramy – I think the show gets it wonderfully right.

Let’s face it: Ramy is a mess. His career is pretty directionless, as he has a clear vision of what he doesn’t want to do but very little idea of what he’s really striving for. His relationships are all over the place, and even as he grimaces at some of his uncle’s sexist attitudes, he’s absorbed warped ideas of his own about women, and that affects his attempts to find someone. He’s trying to really reckon with his faith, but his adherence to it ranges from sincere to halfhearted to dismissive to hypocritical, often within the span of a single episode. There’s not an episode that passes by without Ramy screwing up in at least one major way.

For me, though, the really critical points to consider with this character are that 1) he knows that about himself, and 2) he continues to try. First, I’m not saying he doesn’t have personal blindspots, because of course he does, but more often than not, he recognizes the points where he backslides, does the opposite of what he’s working toward, or otherwise disappoints himself. While he’ll sometimes make excuses to his friends or his family, it’s typically about saving face more so than a willful denial of what’s really going on. He knows when he messes up, and he’s frequently the person who’s hardest on him for that.

And yes, for all his faults, he never stops trying to be the man he wants to be, even if he hasn’t figured out who that is yet. He tries to do the right thing, to be kind, to be a good Muslim, to figure out how he can feel God moving in his life. Sometimes he screws it up, sometimes he gets burned for it, and sometimes it works out. But no matter how the dust settles, he picks himself up and tries to be better.

One of my favorite moments in season 1 comes in an episode where Ramy (largely for guilt-based reasons) takes it upon himself to help Steve meet up with a girl he met online. This good-deed attempt is riddled with disaster, not least of which being the discovery that both the girl and a friend who’s hanging out with her are clearly underage, and as much as Ramy tries to steer the ship back on course, Steve won’t do the smart thing and leave. While Steve and the girl take things to the bedroom, Ramy is left in the living room with the friend. Both girls are already wasted by the time Ramy and Steve get there, and Ramy, who doesn’t drink, has already sidestepped several offers to partake. But when the friend starts spiraling out about personal drama and makes a reference to harming herself, Ramy is willing to do anything to cheer her up/get her away from harmful thoughts and decides that means having a drink with her. There’s something so pure about how insistently he encourages, “Come on, we’ll do a cheers!”, his total lack of experience on display as he does whatever he can think of to (badly) look after the well-being of this teenager he just met. To me, that moment encapsulates Ramy – kindness and an earnest desire to do right mixed with bad judgement and half-baked ideas.