New Satire Roundup: March 29th-April 2nd

Today, I’m staying home for Tom Stoppard.

Sunday, March 29 – John is back! We jumped right into the main story, which was obviously COVID-19 again. After checking in on international responses, we focused on the U.S. I loved his description of those who want to “sacrifice” the vulnerable to “save” the economy: “They’re trading one terrible thing for both terrible things. They’re shitting on their cake and choking on it too.” We looked at the chronic equipment shortage, leading to doctors improvising subpar PPE and states trying to outbid each other on ventilators. John’s contempt for Trump’s total lack of urgency on the issue was palpable. And in imploring everyone to social distance, John shared a sobering video of a doctor explaining that they had to rent a refrigerated truck because the morgue was full. We did get a tiny glimmer of fun at the end, when John showed us his new obsession with rat erotica from a Southeast Pennsylvania artist.

Monday, March 30 – International news included a lockdown in Moscow and Boris Johnson testing positive. Trevor used Tiger King to examine Trump’s COVID-19 response, noting Joe Exotic’s “presidential” qualities: making everything about him, claiming false expertise, and believing in conspiracy theories. Trump bragging about the ratings of his coronavirus briefings? Shameful. And I liked Trevor’s analogy for Trump’s remarks on “unappreciative” governors, likening it to a doctor who lets a patient die because “he wouldn’t say the magic word.” Jaboukie interviewed a doctor hoping to begin trials on a vaccine. The doctor also addressed the misnomer that COVID-19 doesn’t affect young people. The guest was California governor Gavin Newsom. What most struck me was his emphasis on their efforts to try and get the supplies they need, tacitly acknowledging that they can’t depend on the federal government.

Tuesday, March 31 – First up was new hospitals being erected wherever there’s space in New York, from the Javits Center to inside Bill de Blasio’s shoes. Good story on the differences in leadership around the world. Three guesses as to whether Trump fell into the “good” or “bad” category. I liked the bit on Hungary, with a pandemic taking the fun out of being a dictator – “I sentence you to torture! But you’ll need to torture yourself, since it’s not safe to touch you.” On the “good” side, Trevor highlighted state governors who’ve stepped up in the absence of much federal response. The analogy, comparing it to the kids of an alcoholic dad taking care of themselves, was depressingly apt. Michael, Dulcé, and Roy joined Trevor for a highly-relatable attempt to figure out what day it is. The guest, NBA player Kevin Love discussed looking out for arena workers during the season shutdown and addressing mental health while social distancing.

Wednesday, April 1 – The government in Malaysia instructed women not to “nag” their husbands while social distancing – charming. I liked Trevor’s solution to have spouses team up against the real enemy: their kids! Today saw Trump taking his most serious tone so far on COVID-19, but he also found time to blame impeachment, China, and Obama for his slow response; I appreciated Trevor’s list of all the policies Trump wasn’t too “distracted” to push during impeachment. Ronny interviewed Andrew Yang to see how he feels about Congress “co-opting” his UBI idea for the stimulus package (and suggest that Asians get paid a little extra every time someone calls it the “Chinese virus.”) Michigan governor Gretchen Whitmer was the guest. While her T-shirt did say “That Woman from Michigan,” she emphasized that now is the time to focus on protecting her constituents, not political games.

Thursday, April 2 – First was scientists collaborating on treatment/vaccine research (no point in competing when Trump’s going to take the eventual credit anyway!), followed by the severe spike in unemployment claims (“the chart looks like the economy overdosed on Viagra and got one of the those 4-hour erections!”), guns replacing toilet paper as the new hoarding item, and Dr. Fauci getting assigned a security detail. Most of the show was dedicated to an interview with Bill Gates, who discussed the pandemic through the lens of what he’s learned from his philanthropic work. I liked what he said about funding manufacturing for all prospective vaccines that seem really viable, so that no matter which one comes out on top, the infrastructure will already be in place to get it produced. At the end, we got a trailer for a movie about a new type of hero: Roy, bravely waging the war against the coronavirus by staying at home.