News Satire Roundup: February 23rd-27th

Sunday, February 23 – After touching briefly on Trump longing for the days of Gone with the Wind, John looked at Michael Bloomberg’s candidacy and his past with Stop and Frisk. I loved the line, “As soon as he had something to gain from it, he apologized, and he did it like a man! Begrudgingly, and once.” The main story on Narendra Modi was good, beginning with Trump ridiculously characterizing him as “the Father of India” (a title that already belonged to Gandhi) and a great unifier (this for a man whose government wants to strip Muslims of citizenship and then put the resulting “undocumented immigrants” in detention camps – I get why Trump likes him.) John did a nice job outlining how Modi surrounds himself with scumbags, downplays his role in violent unrest, and belongs to a party founded by people who admired Hitler; I loved John pointing out that the only praiseworthy thing Hitler did was killing Hitler.

Monday, February 24 – First up was the Queen’s petty move to turn Harry and Meghan into “store brand” royals, followed by Harvey Weinstein’s guilty verdict in his first trial and the continuing spread of the coronavirus (get to your bucket list now! Trevor’s wisely includes “don’t get the coronavirus.”) Good story on Trump’s visit to India. I liked the joke that 7 million people in India is an average day, not a crowd, and I loved the stuff on Trump being in a place where he can’t eat beef, especially the quote from a staffer saying, “I’ve never seen him eat a vegetable.” The Nevada primary results focused on Bernie Sanders’s growing lead. I liked the remark about all the candidates vying for Obama-friendship points. The guest, Anthony Mackie, discussed the acting challenges of Altered Carbon and his pastime of building houses in New Orleans to renew neighborhoods washed away by Hurricane Katrina.

Tuesday, February 25 – Yet another post-debate show. Highlights included everyone body-slamming Michael Bloomberg, the candidates talking about race to win points with South Carolina Black voters (loved Trevor’s response to Bloomberg’s “if I were Black” hypothetical, with him getting Stop-and-Frisked and the cops asking “whose $60 billion” are in his pockets,) and Pete Buttigieg taking a break from policy to “ask for a raise in his allowance.” Speaking of Buttigieg, Jaboukie gathered a group of LGBTQ voters to get their take on the candidate. They discussed the critique that Buttigieg “isn’t gay enough” and recognized the pattern of white cis gay men often being presented as the face of the community. Rahm Emanuel was the guest. After talking about how Buttigieg and Bloomberg, as fellow mayors, did at the debate, Emanuel discussed his new book on how being a mayor is a microcosm of the executive office.

Wednesday, February 27 – Opening blurbs on applications for a new NASA class, the “Hot Pockets heiress” getting jail time in the college admissions scandal (I liked Trevor’s riff on her trashy/classy title,) and Scotland providing free feminine hygiene available in public places. Trevor launched a new segment, “Is This How We Die?”, looking at the coronavirus. Along with looks at outbreaks in several different countries – wow, that Iranian health minister who was revealed to have the virus the day after he assured everyone that all was well – we examined Trump’s take on U.S. preparedness. I agreed with Trevor on how unreassuring Trump is in any kind of crisis. Roy had a new CP Time on Black fashion designers, from the woman who pioneered curve-accentuating clothing to the first Black artistic director at Louis Vuitton. The guest was author Kiley Reid, who definitely sold me on her new book Such a Fun Age.

Thursday, February 28 – Like many, I shook my head at the idea of a doctor trying to hide vegetables in the president of the United States’ mashed potatoes. We also got quick bits on Apple’s edict that movie villains can’t use iPhones (“Group text! Let’s see whose is green. Christoph Waltz, it’s you again!”) and religious violence in India. More on the coronavirus, with school closures in Japan – “Quick, America! Now’s your chance to get caught up in math!” – and the stock market going down (except for “staying-in” products like Netflix or Pelaton.) Jordan met with Black voters in South Carolina, though he took Roy with him. Jordan wanted to know which candidate had the best OPV, “Obama Proximity Value,” but the voters were more interested in actual policies. Musician Jessie Reyez was the guest. She discussed going from busking to a Grammy nomination, and her performance at the end of the show was great.