News Satire Roundup: January 20th-January 23rd

Monday, January 20 – Opening blurbs on a gun rally (Trevor’s right – where but in the U.S. can you say, “Everybody grab your guns, we’re heading down to the Capitol”?), a guy who found over $50,000 in a thrift-store couch, and research into synthetic coffee. The show reported on the New York Times’s primary endorsements of Elizabeth Warren and Amy Klobuchar. Next was Michael Bloomberg trying to appeal to Black voters – I loved the line that he’s “privileged the shit out of his whiteness.” Roy had a great piece on misguided MLK Day celebrations, from a clothing store’s “20% off everything black” sale to a gun-rights advocate claiming Dr. King would’ve supported gun rights, since giving slaves the right to own guns would’ve ended slavery sooner (what even?!) The guest, historian Mary Frances Berry, discussed people’s misconceptions of MLK and how thoughts on protest have changed since the ‘60s.

Tuesday, January 21 – We got quick bits on Delta employee bonuses, a dad attacking his son’s wrestling opponent at a meet, and Hillary Clinton’s unfiltered thoughts on Bernie Sanders. I laughed so hard at Trevor’s impression of Clinton campaigning for Trump instead – “Let me introduce my dear friend, CROOKED HILLARY!” and “Lock me up, lock me up!” The big story was the start of the impeachment trial. My mind boggled at one of Trump’s lawyers defending his own contradictory statements by claiming that he wasn’t wrong before, he’s simply “far more correct” now. Michael did a bit on the GOP-led Senate rules. I enjoyed, “Not all the rules are against Democrats! Only Democrats get free iced tea, it says so right before it says absolutely no bathroom breaks!” BD Wong was the guest; he had some great remarks about the differences between being in “an Asian show” versus a show about Asian characters.

Wednesday, January 22 – Good jokes on the Coronavirus, especially Trevor asking why they always show us an image of the virus as if we’ll be able to “spot” it. We also covered Jeff Bezos being hacked by possibly the crown prince of Saudi Arabia and an awkward moment at a Pete Buttigieg rally (once Trevor pointed out that he laughed like Krusty the Klown, I couldn’t unhear it.) The impeachment trial kicked off with senators traded rhetoric, followed by a montage of them shirking their duties, from bringing in electronic devices to doing crossword puzzles to sleeping on the job (not just nodding off – as Trevor noted, you have to really be out for a courtroom sketch artist to have time to draw you!) Desi reported on Arizona’s refusal to adopt Daylight Savings Time, featuring a good refutation of the “it’s for the farmers” excuse. The guest was Kim Ghattas, challenging America’s usual U.S.-centric focus on the Middle East.

Thursday, January 23 – We opened on Justin Trudeau’s “donut scandal” (“How would Canadians survive a day with Trump?”), new safety features on Tinder, Steve Mnuchin taking a swipe at Greta Thunberg, and ridesharing issues at LAX. The impeachment trial continued with more on senators not paying attention and straight-up skipping out early. That pissed me off, and I appreciated Trevor’s remarks about what would happen if a juror in an ordinary case tried to pull that. Next was a piece on the ERA, which has spent nearly 100 years trying to be passed/ratified. I loved Desi’s, “You finally bring us to the point of ratification and then tells us it’s not the right time? I guess women know what it’s like to have blue balls.” Artist Kehinde Wiley was the guest. He discussed his major pieces, including his portrait of Obama and his Confederate-style statue of a Black man astride a horse.