News Satire Roundup: December 1st-December 5th

Sunday, December 1 – Strong episode. Hasan looked at billionaires, specifically “big philanthropy,” charitable giving from the richest people in the U.S. He did a nice job looking at how all this giving isn’t as heartwarming as it seems. There was the obvious greed angle, scams and tax write-offs, but he went into the issue from multiple sides. I appreciated the point about billionaires who give hundreds of millions to put bandaids on the very social problems that they lobby legislators to keep in place, and I loved the line about how the Sacklers used their arts donations to “launder their reputation” while they quietly fueled the opioid crisis. Good point too about billionaires deciding how their donations get spent like Mark Zuckerberg’s $100 million to New Jersey schools mostly going to charter schools and new construction. I also really liked the interview with Anand Giridharadas, which culminated in the author’s “anti-Batman” stance.

Monday, December 2 – Great jokes on the first miniature therapy horse allowed on a plane, from the reaction of someone who was told their carry-on was too big to someone who can’t complain about their lack of leg room resorting to “saying nothing in the most expressive way possible.” We also covered the London Bridge attack and a poll showing that a majority of Republicans think Trump is a better president than Lincoln (what?) A catch-all of Democratic primary stories. Highlights included Joe Biden nibbling on his wife’s finger at a rally (why?) and Michael Bloomberg’s media blitz. Michael also did a fun bit on the “No Malarkey” label of Biden’s campaign bus, lapsing first into old-timey newshound speak and then into Shakespeare. In discussing his new movie, I loved guest Mark Ruffalo’s description of real-life heroes as “the people no one would want to be,” making the most difficult choices.

Tuesday, December 3 – Good bit on Mark Zuckerberg trying to deflect interest in his meeting with Trump – I loved, “Now he cares about privacy!”, and Trevor’s imitation of Siri trying to teach Zuckerberg how to talk like a human was great. Trevor commented on shade a Peloton ad has gotten online, examining some of the quick judgments the ad got. We also covered Kamala Harris dropping out of the race before moving on to Trump at the NATO summit. Re: France, Trump’s insistence that “if someone’s gonna take advantage of our big tech companies, it’s gonna be us” was jaw-dropping in its absurdity. Roy had a fun field piece on “the future of meat,” looking at plant-based Impossible burgers and chicken nuggets grown from cloned meat cells. I laughed so hard at his briefcase full of hamburgers. Ta-Nehisi Coates was the guest, talking about his new book and the challenge of describing slavery in a way no one has before.

Wednesday, December 4 – I loved the blurb on a recall of gas station/pharmacy sushi, especially Trevor’s remark that people who buy gas station sushi are the real thrill-seekers – “I have a business meeting in 40 minutes and I don’t know where the nearest bathroom is, let’s do this!” We also got quick bits on a new plan to help restore coral reefs and smart TVs being hacked (I laughed at Trevor greeting viewers who were only watching because hackers changed their channel.) More on the NATO summit, with the big story being world leaders caught on a hot mike laughing about Trump. I liked the note that world leaders are “gossipy bitches” like the rest of us, and I loved, “We already knew Justin Trudeau was two-faced. He has one white face and one brown face.” Brittany Howard of Alabama Shakes was the guest. After sharing about how her parents’ interracial love story informed her latest album, she performed a song for us.

Thursday, December 5 – First up was some teenagers’ post-car-accident post of TikTok, followed by the administration’s plan to kick nearly 700,000 people off food stamps (nice point that malnourishment will make it harder, not easier, for people to get work) and a recently-cultivated apple that stays fresh for a freakishly-long time. The latest on the impeachment inquiry, with constitutional lawyers testifying before the House. I enjoyed Trevor reacting to Nancy Pelosi’s announcement about articles of impeachment as though it were a long-awaited proposal. Jaboukie offered some insight into what the Founders would’ve thought of all this, along with the reminder that we shouldn’t always depend on what the Founders would’ve thought (“Now he’s saying the N-word. A lot.”) John Lithgow was the guest, talking about the challenge of playing Roger Ailes in Bombshell and his administration-skewing children’s book.