News Satire Roundup: June 9th-June 13th

Sunday, June 9 – We opened with the UK, covering Trump’s visit, Theresa May’s resignation, and the unsavory prospect of Boris Johnson becoming prime minister.  John also looked at another candidate for the office, Rory Stewart.  His deep dive trying to establish whether or not a college-age Stewart knocked over young princes William and Harry while playing soccer was hilarious – I loved the conspiracies and his admission that the staff was obsessing over the video footage “like it’s the fucking Zapruder film.”  The main story was on the Equal Rights Amendment.  The ridiculous claims made by detractors to derail it reminded me of Fox News “reporting” on the Green New Deal, and I appreciated John highlighting the difference between a law and a constitutional amendment.  The appeal at the end to the 13 hold-out states, calling for one of them to ratify it and give us the 38 states we need, was awesome.

Sunday, June 9 – The story today was on the protests in Sudan.  Hasan broke down some of the background behind the protests (I liked the point about Sudan’s last president, Omar al-Bashir, being in power for 30 years, “one Taylor Swift ago,”) what led to them in the moment, and what the response has been to them.  The indifference of the West to Sudan was callous but not surprising (especially given Hasan’s earlier point about the U.S. primarily using it as a backdrop for White Savior movies – “Gerard Butler’s like, ‘I wish you spoke English, so you could hear how I’m whitewashing your culture.’”)  I really liked the activist that Hasan interviewed, with clips of conversations between them both before the current protests started and during them, and I definitely related to Hasan as he contemplated Sudanese young people discussing protests at parties and sharing “life hacks” about dealing with tear gas.

Monday, June 10 – First up was protests in Hong Kong, the Obamas getting a podcast deal (with a fun impression from Trevor,) and escaped lions in South Africa (loved the bit about pretending it’s a Lion King promotion.)  Next up was a three-ring circus of Democrats campaigning in Iowa.  Good points on how it’s detrimental to have so many candidates, reducing everything to soundbites, and I loved the line, “The opposite of Trump is a Mexican woman who loves her children.”  Good piece on Trump backing down on unpopular tariffs with Mexico due to a “new deal” that was made months ago, which includes a “secret deal” we haven’t heard about before Because Reasons – sheesh.  Great interview with Danielle Brooks; her starring as Beatrice in a Shakespeare in the Park production of Much Ado about Nothing sounds incredible, and I love what she said about wanting her career to continually surprise people.

Tuesday, June 11 – Opening blurbs on World Oceans Day (“when the ocean can tsunami any country it wants”?), the Vatican condemning trans identities (loved Trevor’s repeated digs on abusive priests while discussing the Vatican’s hypocrisy of calling trans folks “unnatural,”) and fitness trackers increasing anxiety (fun bit on Trevor taking 1,000 steps to look for his FitBit.)  Next was a story on Vladimir Putin getting cozy with Xi Jingping, what that could mean for the U.S., and Trump’s rejection at being left out; the U.S. and Russian naval ships coming so close to colliding was wild.  Ronny did a field piece on Canada banning single-use plastic, feeling that the official he interviewed should have more of a Bad Boys approach to monitoring restaurants’ use of straws.  The guest, chef Kwame Onwuachi, talked about his rocky journey to get where he is today.  I loved what he said about getting out of gang life after seeing Obama’s inauguration.

Wednesday, June 12 – We started with the absolute symbolism of the “friendship tree” Frace gave to Trump dying, followed by Rep. Norma Torres suggesting that harsh abortion laws are the work of “sex-starved males” (I loved that, in rescinding her remark, she repeated it) and a few jokes about the forthcoming Uber Air.  The main story looked at recent Trump comments.  Waving around his “secret deal” with Mexico in front of reporters was ridiculous – as Trevor pointed out, even if it’s not just a takeout menu, that means the president carries around secret documents in his pocket.  Desi reported on the U.S. women’s soccer team, who still aren’t being paid what they should; she noted that they scored more goals in one game than the men’s team have in all three World Cups they’ve been in since 2006.  Tessa Thompson was the guest, talking Men in Black, transcending female archetypes, and Black faces selling overseas.

Thursday, June 13 – Great point on the college admissions scandal, with Black teenagers spending years in prison for weed while someone who committed major fraud is sentenced to one day in prison – gross.  We also had quick bits on deep fakes, Sarah Huckabee Sanders leaving the White House (loved Trevor’s point that she already hasn’t been doing her job for months,) and evidence of marijuana use in 500 B.C.  Strong piece on Trump’s insistence that a foreign government offering him intel on an opponent is no reason to call the FBI.  I enjoyed Trevor lingering on Trump’s weird brag that he’s “seen all kinds of things” and never once called the FBI.  Ronny did a piece on luxury items for pets, from pet spas to dog mansions – spending $170,000 on a doghouse is obscene.  The guest was presidential candidate Tim Ryan, who argued that he could best win over the “forgotten communities” who voted Trump in 2016.