News Satire Roundup: May 19th-May 23rd

Sunday, May 19 - Fun start with Eurovision and the Icelandic anti-capitalist BDSM band Hatari - loved them!  We also had more on the trade war with China, including the depressed detail that Trump actually thinks China, not American consumers, are the ones who end up paying.  :head explodes:  Interesting main story on death investigations.  Despite their ubitiquitousness on crime shows, I didn’t know much about them and how poorly they’re regulated/funded.  The fact that you can be a coroner without any type of medical degree is staggering, and I was really disgusted by the coroner who was also a sheriff, who conveniently kept “discovering” that the autopsies of people dying in police custody weren’t suspicious.  But even beyond that, John showed the many ways that an inept coroner (or just an overworked medical examiner with insufficient resources) can bungle court cases, hold up someone’s life insurance, and more.

Sunday, May 19 – New Patriot Act!  The episode was on the NRA.  Hasan covered infighting in the organization and focused on its global impact, efforts made to loosen gun regulations in every country and ensure that the U.S. can export guns anywhere.  There were some excellent, savage lines here – I loved, “Learning the NRA is a non-profit is like finding out Guantamano Bay was built by Habitat for Humanity,” and, “The NRA was like, ‘Non-violence?  Over our dead body!’”  I was amazed to learn that most gun violence in Mexico comes from trafficked U.S. guns, and the cycle of guns-and-migration in Central America was especially impactful:  the NRA pushes for looser regulations, which puts U.S. guns in the hands of Central American gangs, which makes people come to the U.S. fleeing the violence, which the NRA uses to push for looser regulations in light of all the “dangerous immigrants” crossing the border.  Sickening.

Monday, May 20 - First up was rage over the Game of Thrones finale, followed by Morehouse College’s commencement speaker paying off all the graduates’ loans (infuriating the one kid who slaved to pay out of pocket,) and Uber Black’s new “quiet mode.”  Fun blurb onArnold Schwarzenegger getting dropkicked at an event in South Africa, with Trevor griping that it’s giving all South Africans a bad name.  Next was the new abortion laws in various states; I liked what Trevor said about the laws being so extreme that they make Trump and Mitt Romney’s stances seem “reasonable.”  Two additions to the 2020 race make for an even two dozen, with Steve Bullock (who?) and Bill de Blasio joining in - fun subway crack about de Blasio being used to overcrowded, ineffectually-run systems.The guest, Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand, discussed protecting Roe v. Wade and her plan to level the playing field for campaign contributions.

Tuesday, May 21 - Opening blurbs on escalations in the trade war, Alabama banning the Arthur episode featuring a same-sex wedding (Mr. Ratburn is gay - thanks, 2019!), and Ben Carson confusing a real-estate term for the word “Oreo,” to which Trevor gave an awesome callback later in the show.  I liked the story on Fox News town halls with Democratic candidates, with some (like Elizabeth Warren) arguing that appearances on the network legitimize its propaganda machine and others (like Bernie Sanders) citing it as a good way to reach voters who would otherwise never hear what they have to say.  Terrific bit on Trump being jealous of Fox News’s “relationship” with Pete Buttigieg.  Michael did a piece on the man who overturned New York’s ban on nunchucks, featuring kung fu “dramatizations” of his court battles.  Ava DuVernay was the guest.  When They See Us looks really good, and I love what she had to say about the project.

Wednesday, May 22 – Good opening on storms in the Midwest, with Trevor doing a fun bit on how personal tornados are.  The other blurbs were wild:  an RV fleeing the cops, composting human remains (“Paper, plastic, grandpa,”) and a hologram Whitney Houston tour (loved the joke about sitting in the nosebleed seats and watching a jumbotron image of a hologram.)  Next was the race for 5G.  I didn’t know much about it (but unlike the president, I didn’t try to talk about it as if I did,) but the story did a good job a) breaking down why it’s such a big deal and b) how impossible it may be to beat China at this point.  Ronny did his own version of a Fox News man-on-the-street about “distracted walking” – his reaction to the guy texting on a skateboard was great.  The guest was author Rachel Lousie Snyder, getting into her book on domestic violence; I really liked what she said about leaving an abusive partner and why it’s a process.

Thursday, May 23 – I laughed at Queen Elizabeth in a grocery store (immediately considering stealing at the self-checkout!)  In the blurb on temperature and gender, I liked Trevor’s theory that men think better when it’s cold because “[their] penises go to sleep,” and amusing bit on a criminal agreeing to turn himself in if his wanted poster gets enough likes.  The big story was Trump’s “temper tantrum” with Democratic leadership; great jokes on how Nancy Pelosi gets “blacker” every time she’s mad at Trump, and Trevor had a great African dictator comparison re:  Trump folks “spontaneously” answering questions about how calm he is.  We returned to Ben Carson’s mishandling of HUD, featuring commentary from Dulce on being fired (noting that Carson’s issue isn’t just being incompetent but looking incompetent.)  Guest Wyatt Cenac discussed his show Problem Areas, which spends a whole season examining one particular issue.