News Satire Roundup: April 7th-April 11th

Sunday, April 7 – John opened on Trump’s new nominations for the Fed, demonstrating why both are utter “goofs” and why, with the Fed, that’s an even bigger deal than his unqualified and scandal-ridden nominees usually are.  We also covered the scandal of Baltimore’s mayor pocketing all kinds of money from a children’s book series she peddled to healthcare centers (and more recently, baby clothes) – I loved John’s rant on how a baby bib with “Let’s Eat Healthy!” written on it won’t teach a baby to eat healthy.  The main story was on manufactured homes, and like many topics the show has discussed, it turns out it’s a predatory industry that exploits the desperation of the poor.  I appreciate the digging the show did to find quotes of one manufactured-home slumlord openly describing his goal of holding homeowners “hostage,” jacking up the rent on the land as they’re stuck with a home that’s rapidly diminishing in value.

Monday, April 8 – I liked Trevor’s remarks on Joe Biden undermining his “readiness to listen” by joking about inappropriate touching.  Crazy blurb on Putin jamming nearby GPS whenever he travels, and in the bit on a poacher killed by elephants and lions, I loved, “Lions kill everyday, but an elephant never forgets!”  Next was Kirstjen Nielsen stepping down, with Trump’s general view that she wasn’t tough enough on immigration.  Great bit on Trump calling her daily, with Trevor noting how distressing it is just to read his tweets every morning.  We covered Herman Cain’s nomination for the Fed; the recap of his complete inability to answer questions back in his presidential run was, let’s just say, not encouraging.  Trevor declared himself “the only late-night host” who could pronounce guest David Oyelowo’s name right on the first try; the actor discussed the non-musical miniseries of Les Mis and themes within it that feel timely today.

Tuesday, April 9 – Opening blurbs on March Madness, Eric Swalwell joining the presidential race (“Two more and we get a free car wash!”), the video of the congressional hearing on white nationalism getting swamped with racist/anti-Semitic comments (sigh,) and a new “consent condom” that requires two people to open the package.  We looked at Democrats’ investigative goals for Trump:  his tax returns (Trevor was right – such insane logic that because “he didn’t release them in 2016 and people still voted for him,” that means he never has to release them?) and the full Mueller report.  Ronny did a fun piece on food lawsuits; I liked the theme that Americans’ demand for food that is both cheap and healthy is at odds with itself.  Soccer star Abby Wambach was the guest, discussing gender equality.  I loved what she said about how women are taught to be grateful just for having a seat at the table, let alone an equal one.

Wednesday, April 10 – Fun stuff about Bernie Sanders “coming out” as a millionaire, with Trevor wondering if his message will change:  “Forget the 1%, they’re fine!  It’s the .1% that’s the problem!”  Neat bit on the first image of a black hole – I liked Trevor’s point that before, we only thought we knew up what one looked like, and it just turned out that Hollywood images were mostly accurate.  And I had to love the clip of Maxine Waters laying down the law with Steve Mnuchin at his congressional testimony.  Good story on Democratic candidates trying to get the Black vote – nice point about Charlamagne Tha God’s radio show becoming a campaign stop, and I liked Roy’s bit on classic pandering from white candidates (with Bill Clinton as the king.)  The guest, Oprah Winfrey, got two segments.  She had a good sense of humor about the reaction she causes, and I love what she told Trevor about the importance of what he does.

Thursday, April 11 – We opened on the dictator of Sudan “stepping down” (after a military coup, natch,) news on the college admissions scandal (I loved the bit on Lori Loughlin turning down a plea deal because she thought the prosecutor was “bluffing” and Trevor’s riff on actors thinking everyone is acting,) and Kim Kardashian’s legal aspirations.  The big story was Julian Assange’s arrest, featuring Trevor’s tangent on Assange’s cat’s officer wear and the very good question of why Assange was being such a tool in the embassy that was granting him asylum.  Desi did a field piece on Wall Street’s reaction to the MeToo movement, where “false accusation panic” apparently runs rampant and some men wrongly think the lesson is “don’t hire women” – sterling job, guys.  The guest was musician Lizzo, who delighted with her story about playing classical flute during a concert to stick it to a woman who’d earlier doubted her right to be there.