News Satire Roundup: April 21st-April 25th

Sunday, April 21 – We jumped straight into the Mueller report.  Due to the amount of material, John acknowledged that it’s too early for a really thorough analysis, but he took the report’s two main sections and examined one theme from each:  1) if the Trump campaign didn’t collude with Russian in the 2016 election, it’s only because they were too incompetent to do so, and 2) if Trump didn’t obstruct justice, it’s only because the people he ordered to do it didn’t follow his directions.  As John said, both points are kind of relieving and deeply troubling at the same time.  After that heavy piece, we were gifted with a delightful final story involving the rogue unofficial mascot for the Japanese city Susaki.  I laughed so hard I could barely breathe at the videos of Chiitan wreaking havoc, and the ending, with the show sending its new mascot “Chijohn” to find the city’s actual mascot and console it after the loss of its loose-cannon friend, was really fun.

Monday, April 22 – After some quick jokes on Easter traditions (Jesus turned into a giant rabbit after rising from the dead?), we covered Seth Moulton, the latest to join the Democratic race, along with the fire at Notre Dame (great shade about the church taking donations for the billion-dollar repairs, which is “only like three sexual abuse settlements,”) and Prince Harry and Meghan Markle possibly going to Africa after their baby is born (I loved Trevor’s impression of African paparazzi.)  The Mueller report was the big story, with Trevor highlighting how much William Barr downplayed its contents.  Ronny celebrated Earth Day by looking at some especially-odd plans to save the planet, from “dimming the sun” to flooding the desert to designing floating cities.  The guest, activist Amanda Nguyen, talked about her work getting laws passed to help survivors and helping other groups get their movements off the ground.

Tuesday, April 23 – First was some tech news:  the who-could-have-guessed? glitches with Samsung’s new “folding” smartphone, Elon Musk’s plan for driverless Teslas to serve as rideshares when not in use (good point that people who can afford Teslas probably don’t need the $11 fare to let others ride in them,) and Netflix ending sex as we know it (calm down.)  Good story on several Democratic town halls.  Trevor focused on contrasts, like the female candidates’ preparedness vs. Pete Buttegieg selling himself instead of policies (Trevor’s comparison with a didn’t-read-the-book report on Catcher in the Rye was perfect.)  We also looked at congressional Democrats’ differing views on impeachment; I liked Michael’s analogy that establishment Democrats treat the newcomers like overeager teenagers wanting sex.  The guests were Politico’s Jake Sherman and Amy Palmer, discussing their book on the first two years of the administration.

Wednesday, April 24 – Quick Jussie Smollett update – great note that the brothers claim Smollett is ruining their reputation by saying they weren’t running a scam.  We also had opening blurbs on a proposal to detain undocumented children in Guantanamo Bay (my god) and a rare bird killing its owner (loved Trevor’s tangent on it being Malcolm X for captive chickens.)  I liked the story on Trump’s latest grudges, from Twitter (calling its CEO to the Oval to ask why he doesn’t have more followers) to Congress, to the Constitution; his vow to take impeachment attempts to the Supreme Court was wild, and I loved Trevor’s analogy with telling a cop, “You’ll be hearing from my orthodontist!” re: a speeding ticket.  Lewis did a piece on the subway – that guy trying to get a 30-foot beam on the train, ha!  Nice interview with Melinda Gates.  I liked her remarks about her charity work and realizing that access to birth control is a life-or-death crisis.

Thursday, April 25 – We opened on McDonald’s initiative to hire senior citizens, Bumble’s new steps to block dick pics (loved the bit about guys who don’t get flagged by the filter realizing how weird their dick is,) and a chimpanzee navigating Instagram (awesome.)  The big news was Joe Biden joining the presidential race.  The show looked back on his record – the good, the bad, and the gaffes – and had an extended bit on his actual schoolyard threats to Trump.  Roy had a new CP Time on Black people in country music; wild factoid about Charlie Pride succeeding on the charts because most listeners didn’t realize he was Black (with Roy demonstrating his own “white voice” in solidarity.)  Ryan O’Connell, creator of Special, was the guest.  He talked about the stigma of disability, the challenges and benefits of bringing his own story to life, and the importance of showing same-sex love scenes on TV.