News Satire Roundup: March 10th-March 14th

Sunday, March 10 – First up was Brazil’s president condemning Carnaval, culminating in a country’s president tweeting his constituents to ask, “What is a golden shower?”  Next, we had Trump signing Bibles for hurricane victims in Alabama (ugh,) which led into a great bit about how Trump is simultaneously so terrible but also so funny.  There was something cathartic about hearing John say, “A++, you pile of shit!”  The main story looked at robocalls.  Some good info, although it didn’t grab me too much.  I enjoyed the clip of a reporter trying to make robocall say the words, “I am not a robot,” and it looks like the FCC wants to make it easier to get harangued by robocalls and harder to stop them, because of course they do.  The ending, however, was perfect, with John gleefully announcing the show’s plan to spam the FCC with robocalls of its own, reminding them that they have the power to stop this.  Boy, did they bring it around!

Sunday, March 10 – Today’s story was on hip-hop and streaming music services.  It pulled in a few directions, but the biggest was how streaming has helped hip-hop spread around the world and had an effect had on political dissent.  Hasan looked at several countries ruled by oppressive regimes where people are speaking truth to power with hip-hop.  The Rap Against Dictatorship video from Thailand was really impressive – as Hasan pointed out, the group called Thailand’s leaders war criminals (and called its prime minister “kinda annoying,” ha!) under a regime where people have been arrested for eating sandwiches.  He also looked at regimes that have tried to coopt hip-hop for state-sponsored propaganda.  I loved the line about enemy-poisoning Vladimir Putin seeing the influence of hip-hop and going, “I cannot destroy this.”  Plus, the show noted how streaming has changed hip-hop, like the revenue-based incentive for writing shorter tracks.

Monday, March 11 – We opened on the Ethiopian Airlines crash – I liked the joke about pilots preparing to just pull “a Sully” any time there’s a problem.  We also had quick blurbs on Paul Manafort’s criminally-low prison sentence, Jussie Smollett’s indictment (great rant from Trevor about being charged more than once for the same lie told to multiple people,) and the new Michael Jackson documentary (I loved the bit about wedding DJs calling Bruno Mars to warn him to “behave.”)  Updates on the 2020 race, looking at big names that haven’t thrown their hats in yet; it’s crazy that Joe Biden has the best Democratic poll numbers, even though he hasn’t joined the race!  We caught up on some Trump moments.  I especially liked the “Tim Apple” thing and Trump’s later tweet claiming he intentionally did that to “save time”(??)  Dutch historian Rutger Bregman was the guest, talking “made-up” jobs, taxes, and economic futures.

Tuesday, March 12 – It was an Ain’t Nobody Got Time for That night.  Highlights included Nancy Pelosi saying Trump isn’t “worth” trying to impeach (loved Trevor’s theory that it was reverse psychology to make Trump admit his crimes,) Mitt Romney blowing his birthday candles individually (wonderfully weird and funny,) and North Korea’s election (great bit about the optional private voting booths being like To Catch a Predator:  Election Edition.)  For Women’s History Month, Desi looked at high-achieving women who haven’t gotten due credit for the bad things they’ve done, like the wives of Benedict Arnold and Machine Gun Kelly, or Alexander the Great’s mother.  I especially liked what she said about Ching Shih, the most successful pirate in history.  The guest, Padma Lakshmi, discussed Top Chef a little but focused more on immigration and Trump’s bogus national emergency.

Wednesday, March 13 – I laughed at Trevor’s impression of Trump explaining how grounding Boeing 737 Max 8’s would work:  “Some people didn’t get how you ground a plane that’s in the air, but not me, folks!”  We got Paul Manafort’s sentence for his second batch of crimes, then his third round of indictments, and the bit on the possible danger of airpods led to a great rant about tangled earbud cords.  More on the college admissions scandal.  I liked the jokes about parents who Photoshopped images of their non-athlete kids “playing” sports, and the fact that some used a fake charity to make their illegal briberies tax deductible was wild.  Goofy piece comparing news in the U.S. and around the world, culminating in a sketch about CNN’s dramatic orchestra.  The guest was Queer Eye’s Karamo Brown, talking about his new memoir.  I was impressed at how willing he was to air some really dirty laundry and discuss how he’s changed since then.

Thursday, March 14 – Opening blurbs on the Great Social Media Crash of 2019 and Nancy Pelosi taking away Mike Pence’s extra office in the House – I liked Trevor’s prediction that House Democrats will force single-ply toilet paper on the White House next.  More 2020 stuff, with Beto O’Rourke joining the race – Trump of all people criticizing his hand gestures cracked me up – and Ronny  insisting to Andrew Yang that he doesn’t need Yang’s platform to vote for him for being Asian.  Dulcé headed a new segment on policing, looking at misguided efforts at community engagement (police officer trading cards?) and apprehension (a gun-like device that shoots cords to bind people’s ankles?)  Yeesh.  LGBTQ activist Jacob Tobia was the guest.  I liked what they said about playing with gender and encouraging everyone to try things that presumed gender roles have boxed them out of.