News Satire Roundup: February 24th-February 28th

Sunday, February 24 – After touching on Trump tapping William Happer – who once compared the “demonization of carbon dioxide” to the actual Holocaust” – to lead a climate change panel, we looked at the flagrant absentee-ballot fraud that led to a new election in a North Carolina district.  (I loved John mocking the fraudulent winner’s past claim that Three’s Company was Satan’s tool to get the masses to accept homosexuality.)  The main story was on psychics:  the surprising success of their industry and the common tools they employ to trick people.  The fact that four in ten people believe in psychics was just wild – including, we learned “sophisticated Manhattan sex monster” Matt Lauer.  It was interesting to see them “cold reading” in action, throwing out vague hints for people to latch onto, then generalizing until they hit pay dirt.  The ones who prey on the desperate parents of missing children were especially awful.

Sunday, February 24 – The theme of the episode was student loans.  I of course knew this issue was a major problem, but I hadn’t known the ways it’s specifically gotten so much worse in recent years, like the fact that it’s tripled in the last twelve years and exceeds both credit-card debt and car loans.  It was interesting to learn how what seemed like a good idea at the time, cutting out the “middle men” banks between students and the Department of Education, wound up screwing so many people over, not just through the DoE’s inability to effectively manage loans, but also the way they haven’t done much of anything to try and fix their own mistakes.  The practices of the government-contracted loan providers was, predictably, horrifically shady, and I loved Hasan’s argument against them being compared to terrorists, pointing out that terrorists “take credit” for the disasters they cause.

Monday, February 25 – Fun opening, with Trevor recounting his trip to the Oscars.  Next, he questioned the practicality of sending Mike Pence to deal with the upheaval in Venezuela and side-eyed Sen. Dianne Feinstein, the most childish person in her “debate” with actual children.  Big catch-all story on sexual predators.  I loved the point that the Pope’s promise to bring “the wrath of God” down on abusive priests isn’t the same as jail time, and Trump shrugging off that a member of his cabinet once helped a billionaire pedophile get off was gross (Trevor’s impression was good:  “That feels like so long ago, all those underage girls are overage now.  Problem solved!”)  Roy reported on young (elementary-aged) political YouTubers, speaking to both a miniature conservative and a kid advocating communism.  The guest, Chiwetel Ejiofor, talked about the true story behind his directorial debut, The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind.

Tuesday, February 26 – We opened on stories about to happen, like the North Koreasummit (featuring the return of Kim Jong-un’s jogging bodyguards!) and Michael Cohen testifying before Congress, preparing to drop such “bombshells” as the president being a racist and a liar.  Trevor’s rant on Ivanka Trump’s claim that most Americans don’t want to be “given” something (i.e. a living wage) was awesome, especially his tangent about millionaires fighting over goodie bags at the Oscars – we also got a bit on a viral video of a faith healer “resurrecting” a man in South Africa.  Interesting story on “ISIS brides” who’ve defected and want to return to the west; I loved the joke about them being shocked to discover the fundamentalist terrorist organization was patriarchal.  John Legend was the guest, discussing the philosophy behind his new song – don’t just “preach” about change, be the change – before performing it.

Wednesday, February 27 – More on the North Korea summit – I loved the remark that Kim Jong-un looks like he’s waiting for Ashton Kutcher to pop out whenever Trump speaks.  Next was tension between India and Pakistan (“picture Cardi B. and Nicki Minaj, but with nuclear missiles”) and “rough play” zones on Canadian playgrounds, (featuring a great crack about the fun you can have with universal healthcare.)  Good story on Michael Cohen’s testimony.  Lots of craziness, with pride of place going to Rep. Mark Meadows literally trotting out a Black staffer to “counter” Cohen calling Trump racist.  Lewis turned up for a Back in Black on anti-vaxxers.  I especially liked the part about unvaccinated teens taking matters into their own hands.  The guest was author Angie Thomas.  I loved the notion that her new book is set in the same neighborhood as The Hate U Give but that the two girls’ lives, interests, and stories are completely different.

Thursday, February 28 – Good bit on the man busted for drug dealing after going viral for buying $500 of Girl Scout cookies, especially the joke that the Girl Scouts turned him in for working their corner.  Next up was fake online reviews – I loved Trevor’s rant about using what he witnesses as his “reviews” on everything from phones to cars to parenthood.  We covered the North Korea summit ending early, a.k.a Kim Jong-un “breaking up” with Trump.  I laughed so hard at, “I need to build a wall around my heart!!”  Roy’s latest CP Time, on Magical Negro tropes – I liked the point that these characters don’t better their own lives with their magic – was followed by a recap of “the worst Black History Month ever.”  Musician Gary Clark Jr. was the guest.  I liked his comments on his use of the N-word in his new song “This Land,” and his performance of it was excellent.