News Satire Roundup: January 21st-January 24th

Monday, January 21 – We opened on Trump “negotiating with himself” on the border wall and a spike in DC-area Pornhub users since the shutdown started (Trevor “jerking off” with Trump’s hand gestures was so funny.)  Also, Fox News accidentally declared Ruth Bader Ginsburg dead – I loved the bit about the employee who mans “the Ruth Bader Ginsburg button” – and Kamala Harris is running for president.  Two different stories got tied into a theme of “rushing to print,” a Buzzfeed article on Trump/Michael Cohen and a viral video from the March for Life.  I loved Trevor’s riff about how we hear from Robert Mueller so seldomly, we don’t even know what he sounds like.  Dulce did a piece on parts that get left out of Martin Luther King Jr.’s legacy, like his impatience with white moderates and his anti-capitalist stance.  Patty Jenkins was the guest; I liked her discussion with Trevor about what she brings to action movies as a female director.

Tuesday, January 22 – The latest shutdown update featured the Senate’s plan to fund the government… for the next two weeks.  Quick blurbs on the sparse turnout for the World Economic Forum – I loved the bit about how Africa was still going, ready for their turn to shine – and a Japanese hotel scrapping its robotic “dinosaur bellhops.”  More on Democratic presidential candidates, focusing on apologizing for past stances.  Jake Tapper pointing out that Kirsten Gillibrand used to support immigration policies that she now calls Trump racist for was solid.  Ronny had a great piece on Oscar snubs, chiefly his own for Best Supporting Actor in Crazy Rich Asians – I loved the lines, “I had to play an asshole when, really, I’m more of a dick,” and “I should nominate you for Least-Supportive Friend.”  The guest, comedian Amanda Seales, talked about hustling make her own opportunities as a Black woman in the industry.

Wednesday, January 23 – First was the Supreme Court’s first major gun case in years, followed by CBS turning down a marijuana ad at the Super Bowl, and an “emotional-support alligator” visiting an assisted living home (I loved Trevor’s reaction to the last one:  “Man, white people are having a good time!”)  We looked at the Trump- Nancy Pelosi standoff over the State of the Union.  I liked the riff on how Trump’s nickname for Pelosi is just “Nancy,” along with the bit about him being turned away from the House by a congressional bouncer.  Roy had a terrific field piece on the Compton Cowboys, an organization that presents itself as an alternative to gang life; really neat story, and I liked the note about how the cops can’t “pull over” a Black person riding a horse.  The guest was actor Joe Morton – I loved his remark that someone who calls him the N-word is less dangerous than the person standing next to them saying nothing.

Thursday, January 24 – Opening blurbs on Maduro’s rival naming himself the true president of Venezuela (per Trevor “the first selfie inauguration,”) Trump agreeing to postpone the State of the Union, concern about airline safety due to the shutdown, and an “ancient” stone circle in Scotland revealed to be a fake.  Excellent piece on El Chapo’s trial, especially the way Trevor tied it to the shutdown:  the FBI no longer having money to pay informants, the US marshals guarding El Chapo working without pay, and, with El Chapo smuggling drugs via subs, planes, and tunnels, “it’s a good thing Trump is building that wall.”  Roy reported on the New Orleans Saints being “robbed” by an unfair call; my favorite part was the lawsuit from fans citing “loss of enjoyment of life,” OMG.  Anchor Chuck Todd was the guest.  I really like his examination of how the media was complicit in trying to “explain” Trump in the early days.