Top (Ten) Songs: Season 3 (Crazy Ex-Girlfriend)

Despite having some indisputably-great songs in it, I do think that season 3 is the weakest so far when it comes to music.  It feels like there are more songs here that are just so-so, and it was trickier to get a full Top Ten of numbers.  Still, the season’s best songs really are very good, so there’s still some fine work to appreciate.  Here are my favorites.

“Let’s Generalize About Men” – A terrific ‘80s anthem featuring Rebecca and her friends getting wasted as they – you guessed it – generalize about men.  I enjoy that it’s self-aware and obtuse at the same time, and there are a couple of great flips to the script, such as Rebecca posing the question, “Wait – what about gay men?” and the resulting, very different generalizations that ensue.

Best lyric:  “Let’s take one bad thing about one man / And then apply it to all of them. / Let’s conflate all the guys - / Let’s generalize about men!”

“Strip Away My Conscience” – This is a fun, sexy number, as Rebecca propositions Nathaniel to help her give herself over to her dark impulses Chicago-style.  With references from Harry Potter to Fifty Shades of Gray and suggestive use of the word “cocksuredness,” it’s as clever as it is sultry, and it ends on a classic Crazy Ex-Girlfriend boner-killer, with Rebecca completing her strip by tossing her thong to Nathaniel and purring, “That was just up my butt.”

Best lyric:  “Lead me to the dark side / Like a lamb to the slaughter, / Then do me in a hot tub filled with evil ‘stead of water.”

“The End of the Movie” – With Rebecca feeling low and untethered (numerous characters, really, but it’s her fantasy,) her swirling fears and confusions about life are given voice by none other than Actual Josh Groban, whose onscreen “reveal” in the middle of the song is so funny.  Obviously, the song is beautifully sung, with Groban melodically reflecting on the ways life fails to conform to the neatly-wrapped-up three-act structure of a film, where everything ties together in the (usually-happy) end.

Best lyric:  “Life doesn’t make narrative sense…”

“Maybe She’s Not Such a Heinous Bitch After All” – This is a great song, a bouncy ‘60s-style girl group number in which Rebecca tries to understand why her mom is being so nice to her.  Good relationship psychology (mother/daughter relationships, parental relationships affecting our choice of romantic partners) paired with an infectious melody and hilarious lyrics.  MVPs of this song are absolutely Rebecca’s two back-up singers – their lines make the song so much better.

Best lyric:  “Maybe she’s not such a heinous bitch after all.” – “(Sit beside her, / So weird you lived inside her.)” – “Maybe old age has tamed this witch and made her a doll.” – “(But like one of those evil haunted dolls!)”

“A Diagnosis” – Hands down my favorite song of the season.  So, so beautiful – after seeing this episode for the first time, I went on YouTube and watched the video for this song again, probably at least four times in a row.  Faced with the possibility of a new, definitive diagnosis for her mental illness, Rebecca is thrilled.  She’s looking to it to make everything finally all right, so she’s still clinging to quick-fix solutions to her problems, but there’s something so gorgeous about the peace she finds in the prospect of simply being able to understand herself, of having a name to put to it and being able to meet other people who are experiencing the same things as her.  Rachel Bloom’s vocals are stunning here.

Best lyric:  “I’m aware mental illness is stigmatized, / But the stigma is worth it if I’ve realized / Who I’m meant to be, armed with my diagnosis.”

“First Penis I Saw” – Such a fun number.  Paula reminisces ABBA-style about her high school boyfriend and, as per the title, her first experience with a penis.  A very singable ditty, and I like that Paula emphasizes repeatedly that it wasn’t noteworthy in either a good or a bad sense – it was just the first, which made it unforgettable.  I also enjoy Paula and her back-up dancers at the grocery store using phallic vegetables as mics.

Best lyric:  “Of all the penises I’ve seen / His had the biggest impact, / And by that what I mean / Is it really made me drop my jaw, / ‘Cause it was the very first penis I saw.”

“Fit Hot Guys Have Problems Too” – Oh man, this is fantastic – ridiculously catchy, super funny, and clever (with added eye candy for anyone who likes fit hot guys.)  White Josh and Nathaniel – with a later addition from Josh – go-go dance as they lament the fact that everyone assumes guys as hot as them are never sad or hurting.  The lyrics are terrific, the striptease is perfectly timed, and I love the occasional intrusions of the guys straight-up breaking down on stage.  This is also David Hull’s first spotlight in a number; I’ve always enjoyed White Josh, and Hull does a nice job in his first big outing.

Best lyric:  “We’re expressing our pain through the art of dance, / But we’ll express so much better without these pants!”

“This Session is Gonna Be Different” – Ah, poor long-suffering Dr. Akopian.  After ages of Rebecca’s evasions, deflections, and distractions, she finally seems ready to do the hard work on herself, and Dr. Akopian fans that last spark of hope back into a flame.  I like that, for all her frustrations, it genuinely comes from a place of wanting to help Rebecca, and the “Maybe This Time”-esque number is a perfect fit for the situation.

Best lyric:  “This session is gonna be useful / If she’s truthful about how she feels.”

“The Miracle of Birth” – Horrifying, goofy fun.  Paula sings this gentle earth-mother ballad to Heather as she readies to give birth to Darryl’s baby.  She lovingly describes the process in graphic detail, all while a troupe of little girls emerge from a giant cloth vagina and then dance around her – major points for presentation!

Best lyric:  “And oops, there it went-a. / That was the placenta, / Which you must expel / Or you surely die!”

“Nothing is Ever Anyone’s Fault” – It wouldn’t be a central Crazy Ex-Girlfriend romance without some serious dysfunction, and this is Rebecca and Nathaniel’s on full display.  At the start of this post, we saw her urge him to “strip away [her] conscience,” and now, we see the “lesson” he learned from her:  denying all personal responsibility on the basis of being messed up by childhood trauma.  The soaring Broadway-ballad melody juxtaposes nicely with the amoral equivocation of the lyrics, and I enjoy how perplexed Rebecca is through the first half of the song.

Best lyric:  “I was raised to believe / That every person’s in charge of their fate, / But now, I clearly see / That my father’s a dick and he filled me with hate.”