All the Asexuals: An Appreciation

Since 2013, I’ve made a point to seek out fictional asexuals where I can find them.  In that time, I’ve found eleven that I claim as mine:  I’ve written six Asexual Sightings for the blog, three Possible Sightings, and one Sort-of-Possible Sighting (I haven’t done a full write-up for one of them, but she would also rank an Asexual Sighting.)  They’re not all perfect, and in particular, the ones who are ace-coded but whose writers won’t confirm them as such can hurt, but there are no complaints today.  Since it’s Asexual Awareness Week, I’m taking today to look at each in turn and why I’m grateful for them.

Dr. Sheldon Cooper (The Big Bang Theory)

Sheldon is the first asexual-coded character I ever came across, years before I knew that’s what I was, and that will always make him important to me.  He and Amy also offer the most in-depth example I’ve found of an asexual/sexual romantic relationship.  Even though his overall Sheldonness means there have been many times where he’s ignored her needs, they’ve ultimately been partners in figuring out intimacy, taking the time to satisfy both Amy’s physical gratification and Sheldon’s slowly-evolving comfort level.

The Doctor (Doctor Who)

My sort-of-possible asexual, both because the Doctor’s level of attraction seems to vary from regeneration to regeneration and because the 1000+-year-old alien thing is also a probable factor here.  However, I adore having an ace-ish hero saving the world, and asexual or not, I love how much weight is given to the Doctor’s friendships.  The relationships between the Doctor and his – now her – companions are so always so strong, always take pride of place.  More than anything I’ve encountered in fiction or in life, the Doctor’s greatest friendships are the closest I think I’ve come to seeing platonic partnerships in actions.

Sherlock Holmes (Sherlock)

Sherlock is another possible ace, and I love that he’s the undisputed hero of his show, one who’s devotedly adored by fans and who can be an intelligent badass and anchor a popular series with nothing completely in the way of canon sexytimes.  His disinterest in sex doesn’t make him any less dynamic as a character, and he’s offered us great lines like, “Why would I want to have dinner [euphemism in that episode for sex] if I wasn’t hungry?”

Poppy (Huge)

After a few ace-coded characters, Poppy was the first I found that actually used the word.   I watched Huge specifically because I knew there was an asexual character on the show, and although Poppy coming out to George is just a brief scene in the series, I love it for how nonchalant Poppy is about it.  George might be a bit surprised, but to Poppy, it’s just normal, and once she comes out to him, she simply gets on with everything else.

Arthur Martin (Six Feet Under)

The final possible-asexual on this list:  it’s all confirmed aces after this!  I like that, despite being very odd and coming across as quite stilted/remote, Arthur is actually very warm and affectionate in his own way, and in his gentle relationship with Ruth, I appreciate the small explorations of intimacy that fall outside of what we typically think of.  By the time I watched Six Feet Under, I think Sheldon and Amy had started dating on The Big Bang Theory, but I don’t think they’d kissed yet, so this was the first time I’d seen anything like an ace/sexual romance trying to navigate physical affection.

Varys (Game of Thrones)

Varys is notable for being the only confirmed ace on this list that I didn’t have to seek out.  Any other show that’s overt about the character’s orientation, I’ve watched specifically because I heard it had an ace character, but with Varys, I was just watching an ordinary episode and he came out.  Again, it’s a brief scene, but it’s a good one.  It handily addresses a few myths about aceness (if he’s not into men, he must be into women, “everybody is interested in something,” etc.) emphasizes that Varys being asexual predates his becoming a eunuch, and importantly, establishes that Varys 100% likes being the way he is.

Jughead Jones (Jughead)

I’m beyond thrilled that such an iconic, longstanding character has identified as asexual, and that it actually fits his 75+-year comic history.  More than that, I love that Jughead is a smart, funny hero who’s perfectly happy being ace – there’s only room in his heart for burgers, and that’s the way he likes it.  I also appreciate Jughead for being as flirting-illiterate as I am and, although I have issues with the arc overall, for giving me my first story about an ace trying to figure out how to turn down a date without hurting his friend’s feelings.

Todd Chavez (BoJack Horseman)

For other LGBTQ folks, stories about characters realizing their queerness, struggling to accept it within themselves, and slowly starting to come out are old-hat clichés, but for asexual characters, that narrative is still largely unexplored.  Of all the aces characters I’ve encountered, Todd is the only one who has a story figuring out his sexuality.  Even if other queer characters don’t need any more of these narratives, aces sure do – it’s been so affecting to watch someone on TV go through the same thing I did.

Yolanda Buenaventura (BoJack Horseman)

Yolanda’s the one I haven’t done a full write-up on yet, because she’s been a relatively minor character on the show and, while season 5 offers a bit more of her, I’d like to rewatch her season 5 episodes before I give my full thoughts on her.  Still, her presence makes BoJack Horseman the first story I’ve seen to feature two regular/reccurring ace characters, as well as an asexual/asexual romance.  (Side note:  I’ve started my season 4 rewatch, and you can totally see her halfway out of frame when Todd builds up the courage to go to an asexual gathering – I love the amount of forethought that goes into that show.

Voodoo Dunacci (Sirens)

Though she’s a relatively small character, Voodo makes a big impact as an asexual character.  She’s unapologetically a romantic ace with no “hey, wait a minute!” moment as to how her romantic orientation reconciles with her asexuality.  Thanks to Brian’s curiosity/ignorance about aceness, we also get some real Ace 101 moments, like our triangle symbol, that pretty much never gets play in any kind of mainstream media.

Raphael Santiago (Shadowhunters)

The other characters on this list in asexual/sexual romances are ace-coded rather than explicitly ace, which means they and their partners run into some issues when initially addressing the idea of intimacy:  because they don’t have words to describe what they are, it’s difficult for them to talk about what they need.  Raphael, however, has no problem explaining to Izzy that he’s not interested in sex (and that, like Varys, he’s always been that way – it had nothing to do with becoming a vampire.)  I like that he’s so comfortable in discussing it, and I love how his attraction to her is so plainly romantic but not sexual; it’s beautiful to see.