News Satire Roundup: September 9th-September 13th

Sunday, September 9 – Chaos in the administration first, from the op-ed (and Trump’s failure to say the word “anonymous”) to Bob Woodward’s book.  Brett Kavanaugh’s confirmation hearing was next, which led John to the question of term limits for justices; I had no idea the U.S. is the only democracy in the world with lifetime appointments.  The main story was on felony disenfranchisement, particularly in Florida.  While there are 6 million disenfranchised felons in the U.S., over 1 million of them are from Florida – which, of course, is a crucial swing state.  I was disgusted by the clips John showed of the completely-arbitrary panel the state’s governor presides over to decide whether citizens have “earned” their suffrage back.  Lastly, John was delightfully intrigued by a mystery involving possible sabotage on the International Space Station, and he showed off a suspect board featuring both astronauts and mice – love it!

Monday, September 10 – Loved the line about how CBS should start CSI:  CBS to root out sexual predators like Les Moonves.  Fun bit about Elon Musk smoking a joint, with Trevor pointing out that Musk’s normal ideas – “We should move to Mars!” – already sound high, and we also got a blurb on Cardi B. and Nicki Minaj fighting at New York fashion week.  The story on Obama speaking against Trump was great; the clips they chose to juxtapose Obama’s speech with Trump’s reaction to it were perfect, and I could’ve watched Trevor-as-Obama roasting Trump all night.  Two guests, the first of which was Senator Amy Klobuchar.  She was there to talk about a book, but naturally, they had to get into the Brett Kavanaugh confirmation hearing, too.  The second guest was Cavaliers player Kevin Love, who talked partying with Lebron James and showed off clothes from the line he designed with Banana Republic.

Tuesday, September 11 – After Trevor warned viewers in the path of Hurricane Florence to stop watching! and wondered who the target demographic for ad space on NASA rockets would be, it was onto a strong story about Trump’s history of saying bizarrely tone-deaf things on 9/11.  Between the “thousands of cheering Arabs” in New Jersey, mistakenly calling it “7/11,” and – on the actual day – boasting about now having the tallest tower in Downtown Manhattan, the competitition having just collapsed, it was staggering.  We continued looking at the midterms, with Democrats hoping to turn Orange County and Michael reporting on the county’s current Putin-loving incumbent.  I really liked the guest, musician Mitski.  I hadn’t heard of her before, but I liked what she said about the gendered implications of people denying her ownership of her creativity and envisioning her as a sort of “vessel” that songs just come out of.

Wendesday, September 12 – Opening blurbs on tennis umpires threatening to “boycott” Serena Williams’s matches (really?), the new iPhones, and proof of just how much white people love animals (“I know someone just got mauled at this sanctuary, but this is a different lion!”)  Next was a story on Hurricane Florence.  I liked Trevor’s theory that someone who refuses to evacuate potentially has someone stashed in their basement, and the bit about news shows sending reporters out into the hurricane to report on non-related news was fun, especially when Trevor brought the joke back around.  Roy had a field report on Boston’s reputation as the most racist city in America; the statistics were staggering, and the divide between the opinions of white and Black Bostonians was very telling.  Anna Kendrick was the guest, and she and Trevor both tried to describe A Simple Favor without spoiling anything.

Thursday, September 13 – The news about detained migrant children was awful; how does anyone in the administration sleep at night?  I laughed at Trevor’s assessment of the world’s oldest known drawing, as well as his plan to discourage teens from vaping by only selling adult-friendly flavors like kale.  Wasn’t surprised to see a piece on Trump refuting the death toll in Puerto Rico after Hurricane Maria, in a tweet that got bipartisan pushback – I liked the bit about how, the last time Orrin Hatch was so surprised, he took off a nonexistent pair of glasses.  Fun story on new nominees for the National Toy Hall of Fame, featuring Trevor’s doubt that Tic Tac Toe qualifies as a toy and a terrific commercial for a Trump-themed Magic 8 Ball that blatantly avoids giving a clear answer for anything.  The guest, Chef José Andres, brought it back around to Puerto Rico as he talked about serving food there and in other places after natural disasters.