News Satire Roundup: August 5th-August 9th

 Okay, caught up now.  Should be back to the current News Satire Roundup by its usual spot on Friday.

Sunday, August 5 – An update predictably came first.  There was Trump’s “it was all totally legal, but nothing happened, but anyway, I didn’t even know about it” response to Donald Jr.’s Trump Tower meeting, playing it cool as always.  We also got Paul Manafort’s trial, along with an And Now This describing various suits he apparently bought for ludicrous prices.  The main story was on criminal justice, a regular topic for the show, focusing this time on prosecutors.  The numbers were grimly impactful, especially the point that 95% of charges brought by DAs end in plea deals – a judge’s comment about how the entire system would fall apart if every case went to trial really hit home.  I was also horrified by the only prosecutor to ever serve jail time for ethical violations that led to someone’s false imprisonment:  sentenced to ten days (served five) for stealing 25 years of someone’s life.  Just shameful.

Monday, August 6 – Opening bits on the assassination attempt on Venezuela’s President Maduro (with his secret service protecting him with “yoga mats,”) a terrorist “royal wedding” between Osama bin Laden’s son and a 9/11 hijacker’s daughter, and Alex Jones content being removed from online outlets (I liked the joke about him sneaking back onto YouTube disguised as a makeup vlogger.)  Next up was Trump’s vacation activities, from crashing an Ohio rally and his beef with LeBron James – I loved Trevor wondering what more he has to do to get Trump to notice him.  Nice new segment, “What Had Happened Was…”, looking at the history of Iran’s conflict with the U.S.  I thought it was really informative and well-done.  Georgia governor candidate Stacey Abrams was the guest; I liked what she said about wanting every vote but focusing on people who aren’t usually asked to vote.

Tuesday, August 7 – Good bit on the KKK trying to recruit kids with candy, with Trevor imagining the kids scamming the KKK by just pretending to be racist.  I also liked the blurbs on Mexicans flying to Canada and crossing the border that way and Trevor insisting that Trump having a Walk of Fame star on a gross LA sidewalk is a punishment, not an honor.  More on the Paul Manafort trial, looking at Rick Gates’s testimony and calling back to the first story in a great way with the line, “Trump passes out pardons like a KKK member passes out candy.”  We got a Hasan the Record on presidential pardons, covering a brief history of the power, getting in some Infinity War references, and noting the troubling fact that the Constitution doesn’t expressly forbid a president from pardoning themselves.  The guest, Rob Corddry, talked about his new movie Dog Days, and he and Trevor compared their “talking to dogs” voices.

Wednesday, August 8 – I liked Trevor’s suggestions for other new categories to add to the “Popular Film” Oscar, from “Hottest Chris” to “Best White Person Playing a Minority.”  Nice burn on Boris Johnson comparing women in burqas to mailboxes(?!), and I laughed at the bit about a herd of cows apprehending a criminal in Florida.  Excellent story on the administration’s latest plans targeting legal immigrants who’ve used any kind of public assistance (including tax incentives!)  Trevor did a great job showing the progression of Trump’s attacks on immigrants, from the “bad hombres” to the Dreamers, now to those with papers and possibly beyond.  Lewis had an amusing Back in Black on “adult summer camps,” which apparently combine camp activities with an open bar.  I loved the line about how mid-life crises have changed.  The guest was rapper Big Boi, talking about his various projects and his love for touring and travel.

Thursday, August 9 – Fun contrast on Trump vs. Mike Pence talking about “Space Force.”  Interesting statistics on girls doing more chores than boys (and girls being more likely to get paid for cleaning and boys for showering!), and I was amused by the viral video of the middle-aged white woman busting out the Missy Elliott.  Next was a story on breastfeeding – I loved Trevor’s confusion at one restaurant manager who evidently thinks “breastfeeding is the female equivalent of peeing; peeing is the female equivalent of peeing!”  I really liked the piece on Peanuts’s Franklin.  It was nice to revisit the story of how he came about after Martin Luther King Jr.’s assassination, and Roy had a great bit on how the TV specials played up the Black stereotypes with him.  Good interview with Parkland’s Emma González and Matt Deitsch.  The numbers they shared on young voters, fueling their campaign to register young people, were interesting.