News Satire Roundup: May 13th-May 17th

Sunday, May 13 – John quickly clarified that he did not pack up and end the show last week after getting everything he ever wanted in the form of a koala chlamydia ward, then moved onto Michael Cohen.  I loved his point that Cohen’s scams were basically the encapsulation of the Trump White House:  zero political experience, only in it for personal gain, of no use whatsoever.  The main story looked at the situation in Venezuela, which had its roots in Hugo Chavez’s unsustainable economic practices but really exploded under Nicolás Maduro’s leadership.  John looked at the out-of-control inflation, the desperate food shortages, and through it all, Maduro’s callous indifference to the suffering of his people.  In a final plea for Maduro to do something, John brought out Wilmer Valderrama dressed like a bird in a hat (Maduro once claimed Chavez’s spirit came to him as a bird) to urge Maduro to action.

Monday, May 14 – Quick blurbs on Spotify removing R. Kelly from their playlists and Trump vowing to bring jobs back to China via ZTE.  Next up was the U.S. embassy in Israel moving to Jerusalem.  I liked Trevor’s reaction to Trump pulling that and then still acting like he’s interested in real peace talks.  Great story on John Kelly and immigration; a note on parents being separated from their children at the border led into Kelly’s remarks that the people coming over aren’t “the sort of immigrants” who “assimilate well.”  Trevor tore this apart, asking why Kelly’s bringing up the law at all if it’s really about the people and pointing out how his own ancestors, Italian immigrants, weren’t thought of as the “right” sort when they came over, either.  The guest, Michael C. Hall, talked about moving on after an iconic role – at one point, he jokingly declared that Dexter was “like Friends in England,” which is all kinds of awesome.

Tuesday, May 15 – I liked Trevor questioning how Melania is the one in the hospital when she’s married to Trump.  Crazy claims about Trump and Hannity calling each other almost daily, with Hannity creating a feedback loop on Fox of the BS he and Trump talk about – I don’t even know what to think about that prospect.  The latest on White House leaks, with an aide’s callous remark about John McCain.  I enjoyed Trevor’s take on the dramatic press coverage (that it was like the White House was holding “the apology” hostage,) and there were good points about the administration’s go-to move of acting like something won’t exist if they don’t acknowledge it.  Ronny had a funny piece on a new “feline detective” at a precinct in Michigan, culminating in a silly story about his own law-enforcement cat.  Anchor Gayle King was the guest, talking about a book she compiled of prominent people writing letters to their younger selves.

Wednesday, May 16 – After quick bit on the great Laurel-Yanny debate for these our modern times and sex jokes found in Anne Frank’s diary, it was onto the Department of Education quashing fraud investigations into for-profit colleges.  Seeing that a higher-up from DeVry oversees the investigations was depressing but not surprising, and I liked Roy’s more honest commercial for his own “DevRoy University.”  Good story on Kim Jong-un’s misigivings about the upcoming summit, fueled by U.S./South Korea military drills in their backyard and less-than-encouraging remarks about John Bolton; I loved Trevor’s exclamation that drawing comparisons to Libya is not the way to sell a dictator on peace talks.  The guest was Terry Crews.  He took a victory lap on Brooklyn Nine-Nine and talked keeping secrets for Deadpool 2 before turning the conversation to toxic masculinity and his sexual assault allegations against his former agent.

Thursday, May 17 – Not sure why, but there was no new episode tonight.  Instead, it was another correspondent “best of” clip show, a second one for Roy.  It contained some good repeats; I especially liked the Black woman who got the apology for white people touching her hair in the story on the how-to-be-more-woke “Safety Pin” subscription boxes, as well as the 2^nd Amendment rally in Montana featuring a guy who said “guns make us safer” while at the same time arguing for see-through backpacks to make sure teenagers don’t bring guns to school.  We also got a revisit of his State of the Union response, Roy’s “State of Black Shit” – I enjoyed his celebration of a Black speed skater at the winter Olympics and Black Twitter.  The final two stories, while enjoyable, weren’t quite as good:  helping Toys R Us pick itself back up after bankruptcy (liquor license!) and his “CP Time” on some of the more unsung Black politicians.