News Satire Roundup: March 11th-March 15th

Sunday, March 11 – First up was Trump so casually deciding to meet with Kim Jong-un that no one else in the room could comprehend what was happening, followed by some tone-deaf reactions to International Women’s Day (from tasteless promotional ploys to seriously-creepy morning news hosts.)  After a hysterical “And Now This” in which an MSNBC contributor filled his colleagues in on the latest episode of The Bachelor (what?!), it was onto the main story on cryptocurrencies.  This is a classic Last Week Tonight topic, one I’ve been hearing about but understand very little.  As usual, John brought it into focus a little more, discussing the potential benefits of digital currencies like Bitcoin while at the same time urging caution in the present buying mania (as well as illuminating us on a few choice bits of cryptocurrency slang.)  He brought in Keegan-Michael Key to wrap things up in an exuberant fashion.

Monday, March 12 – As satisfying as it was to see Betsy DeVos get schooled on 60 Minutes, I’d prefer a Secretary of Education who knows the first thing about education.  Next was Trump at a Pennsylvania rally, ostensibly to promote a congressional candidate but mostly saying whatever he wanted.  I laughed at Trevor appreciating that Trump included “bangability” in his candidate’s assets.  There was also a piece on Trump’s decision to meet with North Korea, perplexing even the North Koreans – I liked the analogy that it’s like if catcalling really worked, not knowing what to do with yourself after being offered what you “wanted.”  Roy and Michael introduced this year’s ThirdMonth Mania, a tournament of BS that fills half the bracket with Trump moments and half with the rest of the news.  Author Junot Diaz was the guest, discussing immigration and finding the different places that are a part of you in his new children’s book.

Tuesday, March 13 – After quick blurbs on the Republican House Intelligence Committee toothlessly clearing Trump of collusion and Trump visiting the border wall just in time for Taco Tuesday, it was onto the big story:  Rex Tillerson’s firing.  Trevor hit all the major angles – Tillerson finding out via tweet, the chronicle of Trump willfully undermining Tillerson at every turn, the latest addition to the long list of administration exits, and, of course, revisiting the time Tillerson allegedly called Trump a moron.  I liked the story on a former Russian spy being taken out (presumably by Russians) with a nerve agent, especially the bit about how Russia couldn’t have signed their work more obviously if the spy had been crushed by fallen Tetris pieces and the riff on Putin as a Bond villain.  The guest, David Byrne, talked about his latest album and the new facets he discovered in his songs when high schoolers performed them.

Wednesday, March 14 – The story on Trump’s “space force” was so bizarre, admitting he said it jokingly but now apparently thinks they should do it – I liked Trevor observing that that was probably how Trump ended up running for president.  Good piece on the high school walkouts, especially Trevor’s reaction to the mother arguing against the walkouts because they weren’t “safe” (“It’s not safe in the schools – that’s why they’re protesting!”)  And the bit about the teacher who hit a student with a bullet fragment when his gun accidentally fired?  Seriously, people.  Lewis did a Back in Black on presidents golfing after the news that Trump has golfed 100 days of a fewer-than-500-days presidency.  Guest Krysten Ritter talked Jessica Jones, the #MeToo movement, and how she occasionally deludes herself into thinking she has Jessica’s super strength.

Thursday, March 15 – I cracked up at the idea that the “twin” space experiment (and the resulting altered genes of the twin who spent a year on the ISS) is an elaborate plot by their mom to explain their different DNA.  More on the high school walkouts, with Tucker Carlson arguing that, because the kids are minors, they’re not citizens and should have no say in legislation; I liked Trevor’s rebuttal that anyone old enough to get shot is old enough to have an opinion on guns.  We examined Larry Kudlow, TV economist and Trump’s new economic advisor.  The old footage of him vehemently insisting that a) there was no housing bubble and b) there was no recession was a little staggering.  Desi and Dulcé kicked off a new women’s history segment with a piece on Marion Donovan, who invented, but didn’t get credit for, disposable diapers.  Christiane Amanpour, the guest, talked about her new series on sex and love around the world.