News Satire Roundup: November 5th-November 9th

Sunday, November 5 – Good piece on the indictments in the Mueller investigation, particularly John’s dissection of Trump’s chief defense:  not knowing anything about anything.  I loved his point that either Trump knew and had a hand in it, or else he’s so dangerously incompetent that he had no idea, in which case he’s not guilty of collusion but shouldn’t be trusted with the White House.  I thought the main story on economic development incentives was pretty interesting.  The ridiculously low margins of actual job-creation requirements for many incentive programs was insane, and the sorts of loopholes companies (naturally) exploit were wild.  Best story of the night, though, was the capper on the US Postal Inspection Service, which has been trying to drum up extra business through a Saturday morning crime procedural every bit as ludicrous as it sounds; John’s delight for the show was infectious.

Monday, November 6 – Nice opening bit about an American woman winning the New York City marathon for the first time in decades; I enjoyed the joke about the African runners who usually win deciding that America had “had a rough year” and deserved a win.  From there, it was back into that rough year with Trump’s trip to Japan.  I don’t even know what to say about the frickin’ president 1) calling Japan a “country of samurai warriors” and 2) wondering, based on that, why they couldn’t shoot down North Korean missiles.  Just… what?!?  Yeesh.  Two-guest night.  First up was Senator Jeff Flake, talking about standing up to Trump within the GOP; it was fine and Flake came off pretty well, but I felt like it could have gone deeper.  The second guest was Tig Notaro.  She discussed her show One Mississippi, having an all-female writers’ room, and what it’s like to write a fictional version of her real-life relationship.

Tuesday, November 7 – Kind of a catch-all to start with – short blurbs on Twitter doubling its character limit and Papa John’s unintentionally becoming “the official pizza of the alt-right” (and denouncing Nazis more definitively than the president.)  Next was Rand Paul getting attacked by his neighbor over a lawn dispute(?) in what Trevor called the “whitest fight ever.”  I cracked up at his riff about the cognitive dissonance of getting beaten up by a doctor.  Decent story on Saudi Arabia’s prince rounding up dissenters/possible rivals in his family – of course Trump praised the move, and I liked the jokes about the arrested princes being held at the Ritz-Carlton and Saudi Arabia having “more princes than a Minneapolis Halloween party.”  Comedian Jeff Ross showed up to promote his latest comedy special, in which he roasts migrants at the border.  While he didn’t seem to have any new insights on immigration, I appreciated his sincerity.

Wednesday, November 8 – Loved Trevor’s derision for Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacy’s “sex rehab,” pointing out that sex crimes are still crimes regardless and imagining an SVU episode where Ice-T sends a perp to a lavish rehab.  I thought the story on Tuesday’s elections was pretty good.  I loved the montage of karmic victories (a Liberian refugee beating a xenophobe, a trans woman beating Virginia’s “chief homophobe,” etc.,) and the goodbye to Chris Christie was great.  Interesting little story about how Trump makes George W. Bush look good.  It’s wild how high his approval rating is right now, and Trevor adding Iraq-related lyrics to Bush’s dancing on Ellen was hilarious.  The guest, Kenneth Branagh, was there to talk about Murder on the Orient Express, but, in discussing Poirot’s mustache, they somehow got onto the subject of how Trevor got tricked into eating dog food as a kid.

Thursday, November 9 – Trevor had a great reaction to Facebook’s “brilliant” idea to prevent revenge porn by sending Facebook your nude pictures, then excellent remarks on Louis C.K.; I loved the line about how all Hollywood actresses should get “double Oscars” for acting like Hollywood wasn’t a disgusting cesspool for so many years.  Amusing story on Trump’s visit to China, with China being quite savvy in its seduction of Trump.  Doing the Bachelor parody with Trump and President Xi was an obvious joke, but I laughed anyway.  Lewis had a good Back in Black on politicians “honoring” veterans by using them as talking points (NFL protests, etc.) while ignoring things that could actually help them, like funding mental health care for PTSD.  Van Jones was the guest – he celebrated Democratic wins in the recent election but warned against complacency moving forward.