News Satire Roundup: August 6th-August 10th

Sunday, August 6 – A catchall of Trump news to start with:  his 17-day vacation, his lie about the success of his Boy Scout speech, him calling the White House a “dump,” and him calling New Hampshire a “drug-infested den.”  And, in looking at the new immigration bill, Stephen Miller got in on the action with his comment about the poem on the Statue of Liberty – John’s contempt for (and numerous minion-comparison photos of) Miller was quite satisfying.  The main story looked at the border patrol, with particular attention paid to concerns about Trump’s order to hire 5,000 more agents.  John separated some fact from fiction on what patrolling the border is really like and examined the issues that arose from the corner-cutting during the agency’s last hiring surge.  I know we’re at the point where corruption shouldn’t really surprise us anymore, but it’s still shocking what gets swept aside.

Monday, August 7 – The Daily Show is doing clip shows this week in lieu of new episodes.  Tonight’s theme was the second 100 days, looking at “highlights” of Trump’s last few months in office.  The segments were divided pretty well into subtopics.  We recapped Trump’s status after the first 100 (having accomplished almost nothing he set out to do,) the healthcare bill (bringing back Michelle’s great piece about the all-male Senate panel,) Trump’s first big international trip (featuring the Melania hand-slap,) and pulling out of the Paris Climate Accord (with various states/cities vowing to stay in it.)  A repeat of an executive order on air traffic control seemed an odd inclusion at first, but it included Trevor’s great remark that Trump only likes the pageantry, not the work, of being president.  Capping things off was Trevor wondering if Trump might really be elaborate performance art, featuring Trevor’s ridiculous uber-posh Trump impression.

Tuesday, August 8 – Tonight’s clip show was on the Russia scandal, cobbled together from a lot more pieces because there’s so much to talk about.  They covered Trump calling on Russia to hack Clinton’s emails, Michael Flynn’s firing (along with Sally Yates’s warning about him,) Jeff Sessions’s recusal and the subsequent friction between him and Trump, James Comey’s firing (along with the release of his memos and his testimony in the investigation,) Trump “showing off” classified intelligence to Russians, and the Donald Trump Jr. emails about his Russia meeting.  Phew!  When it’s all condensed together, it seems even more insane than it already is.  What’s more, some of those topics only got a cursory look and there were others that were left out entirely.  In light of all that, it was appropriate to include Trevor’s comment imagining what a coma patient who just woke up would think hearing all this news at once.

Wednesday, August 9 – Trump’s people were the focus of tonight’s show, with one piece to represent each prominent member of his team.  There was Sean Spicer treating the press like kindergartners, Ben Carson calling slaves immigrants, Betsy DeVos not understanding the basics of student achievement measurement, Kellyanne Conway coining the term “alternative facts,” Mike Pence refusing to be alone with any woman he’s not married to (I still love Trevor’s comment about about GOP hypocrisy re:  “Islam’s treatment of women,”) Jeff Sessions’s track record on civil rights, Jared Kushner’s to-do list, and Ivanka Trump’s feminist branding – quite the team you’ve got there, Donald, and they didn’t even talk about Steve Bannon!  There was also a short montage of Eric Trump jokes and a final bit about the many firings in the White House.

Thursday, August 10 – And the final clip show of the week was on the news media – fewer segments this time around.  First up was Bill O’Reilly, looking at both his firing due to sexual harassment allegations and his history of saying terrible things about Black people.  There was also Alex Jones (and the real-world consequences of his show, despite his claims of just being a “performance artist”) and Megyn Kelly (with Michelle pointing out how she’s neatly forgotten her past at Fox.)  Next was the media falling for Trump’s “pivot” in the presidential act he gave in his first speech to Congress, followed by a montage of Wolf Blitzer’s Kim Jong-un-related puns in stories about North Korea (both of these stories feel a lot more relevant in light of recent events – assuming Trump will become more “presidential,” as well as making light of North Korea stories.)  And last was a quick bit about Trump’s love for Fox News.