News Satire Roundup: March 19th-March 23rd

Sunday, March 19 – I love John’s gobsmacked frustration at Trump refusing to shake Angela Merkel’s hand.  So petty, so bizarre.  More on the wire-tapping claims, including Trump blaming a British agency and arguing that he was just repeating what a conspiracy-touting “legal mind” said on Fox.  Good main story on the proposed federal budget.  John looked at the inhumane list of programs whose funding Trump wants to reduce or eliminate, mostly in the name of added defense spending (his answer to “coal miners and single moms shouldn’t have to pay for PBS” was impeccable,) but he focused more on its haphazard insanity and how cutting from programs that make up .2% of the budget is less business savvy and more dick move.  Finally, in search of a happy story, John gave us Bolivia’s “traffic zebra” mascots who promote road safety, his joy at their existence, and a traffic zebra in front of a green screen, whereby to improve any video.

Monday, March 20 – Some good jokes on North Korea’s latest missile launch test, which is a strange sentence to write.  We got updated predictions on “who’s the real president,” with Fox News claiming the top slot this time.  The evidence for this is depressingly convincing, and the clip of Trump telling the press ask Fox about the whole wire-tapping thing (since he was just repeating what they said) was the perfect cap.  I loved Trevor’s impression:  “Talk to Fox, don’t ask me – I just work here.”  The show also covered the hearing with FBI Director Comey, specifically the part where a congressman asked him to comment on Trump’s (fallacious) livetweeting of the hearing.  Remind me again what world we’re living in?  I enjoyed the guest, Egyptian political satirist Bassem Youssef.  The montage he shared of Egyptians fawning over Trump was crazy, and I was interested in his experience doing satire during a revolution.

Tuesday, March 21 – We opened on Republicans who dragged Obama for golfing now insisting that Trump’s golf weekends are all about political work on behalf of the American people.  The montage of campaign Trump waxing about how he’ll probably never see a golf course again because he’ll be working so hard was great.  Trevor then hit a whirlwind of headlines that scarcely have time to get any focus due to nonstop news:  a TSA electronics ban from certain Middle East countries, Neil Gorsuch’s hearing, Tomi Lahren’s not-a-suspension from The Blaze, and Ivanka Trump security clearance despite not having an actual government job.  Jordan did yet another Trump rally field piece, trying to work out why a president is campaigning barely two months into his presidency (the supporters he interviewed were not a fount of knowledge.)  Journalist Dahlia Lithwick was the guest, talking Neil Gorsuch and (more) partisan hypocrisy.

Wednesday, March 22 – Amusing opening blurb on a South African soccer player who mistakenly thanked both his wife and his girlfriend in an interview – whoops!  Glad the show touched on the African summit, wherein every African participant had their visa denied by the US.  Trevor’s “business as usual” assessment of Africa’s relations with the West felt very apt.  The clips of Republican Senators palling around with Neil Gorsuch at his confirmation hearing was gross.  The other points of the story felt kind of slapdash, but that part definitely hit home for me.  Roy and Hasan gave a “Third Month Mania” update, highlighting a few of the Trump tweets in the “Sad 16” bracket.  And while CHIPS doesn’t tempt me in the slightest, the interview with Michael Peña was great.  I loved his anecdote about learning to ride a motorcycle for the film, and his remarks about immigration and his family were heartfelt and on point.

Thursday, March 23 – Another lightning round of headlines.  I loved Trevor’s observation that he feels drunk after reading extended Trump quotes (re: his TIME interview,) and he touched on the possibility of Gorsuch’s confirmation being filibustered and Paul Manafort’s Russian ties.  He slowed down for the (non-)vote on the healthcare bill, again taking the GOP to task for not having its ducks in a row after seven years of gnashing its teeth over the Affordable Care Act.  I like that Trevor keeps coming back to this point.  There’s plenty to examine overall, but it’s also worth noting how shoddy it is just from that professional standpoint.  Ronny had a hilarious desk piece on an Australian guy who jumped into crocodile-infested waters to impress a woman – his disdain for the guy’s stupidity was beautiful.  Swedish musician Zara Larsson was the guest.  I didn’t go in expecting a conversation about condoms, but it turned out to be pretty amusing.