Top (Ten) Songs: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend – Season 1

Yeah, this is a case where a Top Five just can’t cut it.  For now, I’ve got it down to ten, but I may or may not be back later with more song write-ups.  (Note:  I’m including links to the videos, because the visual presentation of the songs is absolutely essential.)

“The Sexy Getting-Ready Song” – Granted, it’s more about the video than anything else, but who doesn’t love this song?  It’s a sultry number featuring Rebecca and her backup dancers body-rolling in spanx, singing about the hell women put themselves through to look sexy.  My favorite part is the rap break, where Nipsey Hussle is forever changed by all the “nasty-ass patriarchal bullshit” and realizes he has to “go apologize to some bitches.”

Best lyric:  “I’m gonna whisper your dick hard, / Whisper your dick hard - / The sexy getting-ready song…”

“Feeling Kinda Naughty” – I love this one so much, with its cutesy “girl crush” setup that takes a hard left turn into full-on Single White Female insanity.  The first time around, I was enjoying it even before the joke took off, but “I wanna lock you in a basement with soundproof walls…” just kills me.  Super catchy, and I love the craziness of Rebecca’s fantasizing.

Best lyric:  “Cook your spit into a chowder, / Dry your sweat into a powder, / Then do lines of you all through the night.”

“A Boy Band Made Up of Four Joshes” – Great concept well-executed.  Rebecca imagining Josh as a one-man boy band is incredibly apt, and I love how each “member” has his own style and personality – nice details there.  Then, of course, when you add the fact that the four identical Autotuned dreamboats are singing about Rebecca’s neuroses, it gets even better.

Best lyric:  “Baby, you can kiss all your childhood traumas goodbye. / You’re never gonna miss all that stress you’ve been keeping inside. / All your psychological problems, girl, we’re gonna solve them, / ‘Cause we’re not just a boy band made up of four Joshes. / We’re also a team licensed mental health professionals.”

“Settle for Me” – Such snappy lyrics here, and I love the Fred and Ginger feel of the number.  It sets up the Rebecca/Greg dynamic nicely, how he’s at least slightly disgusted with himself for liking her so much despite her obvious interest in Josh.  Not to mention, I love the juxtaposition of the romantic, old-Hollywood-musical style and the decidedly unromantic subject matter.

Best lyric:  Sugar jugs, I’m so bereft. / Demeaning terms are all that I have left / Of my masculinity, / So settle for me.”

“I Give Good Parent” – The visuals of Josh’s sisters posing around Rebecca with words like “POLITE” and “GOOD HYGIENE” emblazoned on their underwear cracks me up so hard, and it’s the perfect representation of this song.  Rebecca’s prim, moderately-cheesy brown-nosing pairs so fantastically with the brash posturing of the lyrics (which has some great rhymes, by the way, really clever.)

Best lyric:  “I present proper like a TED talker, / Got your current chick lookin’ like Greg Focker.”

“California Christmastime” – I love it so much.  Just a delightful group number in which everyone gets in on the action, featuring fun dancing and jokes.  I also really enjoy it for its place in the episode, with Rebecca affirming her choice to move to California; even if she moved there for Josh, it’s become more than that, which gives this snarky song a bit of a warm-fuzzy feel.

Best lyric:  “And what would Christmas be without / Historically-low mountain snow causing staggering drought? / But hey, this eggnog fro-yo’s super tight! / ‘Cause this is California, / And we do Christmas right!”

“You Stupid Bitch” – A truly powerful moment in the season.  As Rebecca sits on the floor of her apartment, surrounded by the mess she’s made of things, the self-berating that she conducts during this splashy old-fashioned diva number (think Liza or Judy) is blunt and unflinching.  I’d say almost everyone, sadly, can relate to this feeling all too well, and in Rebecca’s case, she’s so vicious to herself that it makes me scared for her.

Best lyric:  “Yes, Josh completes me, but how can that be / When there’s no me left to complete?”

“Getting’ Bi” – What a fun, terrific song.  Darryl comes out to his employees Huey Lewis-style in this peppy number that cheerfully debunks bi stereotypes and celebrates his newly-discovered orientation.  Smart and savvy, and it’s a wonderful touch to have him singing against the backdrop of the bi flag.

Best lyric:  “I’m gettin’ bi, / And it’s something I’d like to demystify. / It’s not a phase; / I’m not confused; / Not indecisive; / I don’t have the ‘gotta choose’ blues.”

“Dream Ghost” – Awesomely catchy and a fun concept.  When Rebecca realizes she’s dreaming, Dr. Akopian reveals herself to be a manifestation of Rebecca’s subconscious to take her on an overly-pat but widely-troped plot device of self-discovery.  I love the meta jokes the little tangents from Dr. Akopian and the other dream ghosts about how poorly they’re paid.

Best lyric:  “I’m gonna take you / On a journey through time and space. / And in the end, you realize you knew the answer all along. / Honestly, it’s a bit of a waste / To be a / Dream ghost!”

“Oh My God I Think I Like You” – Excellent pop number about Rebecca’s sinking feeling that she’s starting to like her friend-with-benefits Greg.  The songs hits the right balance between the sexual references and Rebecca’s dismay at her growing schmoopiness.  All-around awesome.

Best lyric:  “Is there an IUD / That can stop the image of you and me / Getting married on a hillside / Surrounded by ducks, / And then we get into a rowboat…? / Oh my god!  I think I like you.”