News Satire Roundup: October 2nd-October 6th

Sunday, October 2 – We opened on Trump’s attempts to claim victory on the first debate.  I loved seeing news commentators get pissed at his surrogates for touting online polls as “proof” of anything.  The main story was on police accountability, less about police shootings themselves than the system that protects so-called “bad apples.”  It’s insane that there’s no official record collecting data on all police shootings, and I hated the video of one PD higher-up instructing his staff on how to delete old records/complaints they “don’t want” in their file.  And really, John is right; when schools with large Black or Latino populations need to conduct classes on how to interact with the police safely, you can’t say there isn’t a systemic problem.  Last was an update on Wells Fargo.  It turns out a Last Week Tonight writer used to make anti-fraud training videos for the bank, so he was brought out to lecture Wells Fargo for not listening to him the first time.

Monday, October 3 – Lessons from Kanye West:  when you have a serious announcement, make the sound guy turn off the autotune.  The prospect of Trump having paid no taxes for up to 18 years led to Trevor’s off-the-wall supposition that everything Trump has done has been all about exposing the cracks within American systems/society.  I loved his cheery, “Thanks, Donald!” after “praising” Trump for “tricking” all the racists out of hiding.  Joke of the night, however, went to Mitch McConnell when he said, “I hate to blame Obama…” re:  the 9/11 bill.  Trevor ruthlessly called McConnell out on that front, pointing to Obama’s very public, specific opposition to the bill six months ago, and Roy showed us the effects of the bill in action with his plans to “sue Europe” for slavery.  James Marsden was on to talk about Westworld, and he and Trevor discussed the appeal of making Trump president of a fake world peopled by robots.

Tuesday, October 4 – Another live show, looking at the VP debate.  I enjoyed the montage of Tim Kaine’s forced-sounding punchlines, and I loved Trevor’s impression of Mike Pence talking about Trump; the comparison to drinking vinegar but acting like it was water was spot-on.  Jordan had a man-on-the-street piece asking people to identify either VP candidate.  The results were predictable, but I got a kick out of him switching out the photos of Kaine-Pence with pictures of white bread and mayonnaise.  Hasan had a good send-off piece for Joe Biden, remembering his various trainwrecks and stressing that, unlike Trump, Biden’s near-total lack of power allows himself to be amusing-crazy, not dangerous-crazy.  (Also?  I loved his Aziz Ansari impression.)  The guest, columnist Ezra Klein, discussed the debate with Trevor.  I especially liked their thoughts on Pence’s un-VP-like showing of not explicitly backing Trump.

Wednesday, October 5 – Well, of course Trump is griping about Pence doing well in the VP debate.  What did you expect?  (Sheesh.)  Excellent story on “fake outrage” news stories that expressly hinge on taking someone’s words out of context.  Clinton, Guliani, and even Trump each got a bit of “love” from news programs wringing their hands over nothing.  (I particularly liked the remark that Clinton’s so-called “basement-dwellers” comment was the worst thing said in the entire campaign.  Really?  In an election featuring the phrase “Mexican rapists,” that’s the worst insult?)  Lewis was on to fume over the expected low voter-turnout among millennials – it was funny, but also fairly depressing and, given the stakes of the election, kind of scary.  Mark Duplass was the guest, promoting his new film Blue Jay.  He talked about his preference for being “bottom-feeder” famous and his mad crying skills.

Thursday, October 6 – First up was Trevor imagining Cruz dialing a Trump supporter while phone-campaigning:  “That’s right – Lyin’ Ted…”  Quick blurb on Samsung’s exploding phones, with great comments on the white privilege of producing a smoking device on an airplane and being asked if you’re all right.  I loved Ronny’s response to a horrifically-racist Fox News story filmed in Chinatown.  He eviscerated them for lazy stereotyping and portraying non-English speakers as idiots, capping it with his own Chinatown interviews featuring articulate answers in both Chinese and English.  Desi had a field piece on a woman who makes/markets political joke T-shirts with a strong preference for misogynistic Monica Lewinsky jokes, complete with the jarring image of her small children and elderly mother helping to make the shirts.  Carmelo Anthony was the guest, talking basketball and community outreach.