Top Five Ace(ish) Moments: The Doctor (Doctor Who)

While I like to think of the Doctor as mostly asexual and varying levels of mainly-heteroromantic, depending on the regeneration, the characterization of his orientation is a little too all-over-the-place for even a potential Asexual Sighting.  That said, I still love me some Totally Ace Moments with our favorite Time Lord.  Here are my favorites.  (Disclaimer – all asexuals are different, and there are those who wouldn’t relate to any of these moments, just like there are some sexuals who would.  No offense intended, just an appreciation for the Doctor’s apparent disinterest in and obliviousness to sex.)

Amy Tries to Jump the Doctor’s Bones (“Flesh and Stone” – Series 5, Episode 5)

I have issues with the scene itself (near-death-experience or not, why does Amy become a lust monster who can’t control her libido?), but the Doctor’s reactions are great.  I love when she’s building up to it and he has no idea what she’s talking about.  “You know what I mean?”  “Yeah.  No.”  “About who I want.”  “Oh right, yeah!  …No, still not getting it.”  Been there, Doctor.

Craig Wants to Set Up a Privacy Arrangement (“The Lodger” – Series 5, Episode 11)

After becoming Craig’s flatmate, the Doctor is puzzled by Craig’s assurance that he’ll make himself scarce if the Doctor needs the flat to himself.  He needs it spelled out that Craig’s talking about a girlfriend/boyfriend, at which point the Doctor agrees to give Craig a shout.  “Oh, I will.  I’ll shout if that happens.  Yes.  Something like, ‘I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS!’”  Ha!

Vastra Wants to Know When Melody Was Conceived (“A Good Man Goes to War” – Series 6, Episode 7)

Despite Vastra’s delicacy in discussing Amy and Rory’s sex life, the Doctor is way awkward about it.  I like that he calls it “human-y, private stuff,” suggesting that, whatever he and River get up to, sex doesn’t interest him.  I also love his defensive assertion that “they don’t put up a balloon or anything!”  Definitely beats a tie on the door.

The Doctor Hides the TARDIS in Clara’s Bedroom (“Listen” – Series 8, Episode 4)

“You said you had a date,” the Doctor tells Clara, who’s surprised to find the TARDIS in her bedroom.  “I thought I’d better hide in the bedroom in case you brought him home.”  While, as shown above, Eleven can get kind of squirmy and uncomfortable about sex, it’s just straight-up off Twelve’s radar.  Of course!  The bedroom!  No reason she’d bring a date in there!  Love it.

The Doctor Doesn’t Understand Why Someone Would Want “X-Ray Water” in a Swimming Pool (“Dark Water” – Series 8, Episode 11)

X-ray water, as used by 3W, only shows organic matter:  in other words, when someone is submerged in it, it effectively erases their clothes.  When a 3W lackey suggests the appeal of X-ray swimming pools, the Doctor does not get it, and that delights me.  “Why?”  “Think about it.”  “I am thinking about it.  Why?”  Ah, bless.