It’s that time again—looking over some of my old posts about a story with Big Neurodivergent Energy and realizing how it resonated with me as an “unhatched” autistic ADHDer. Today, we’re looking at Our Flag Means Death! So. Much. Found. Family! I like that I draw comparisons with Ted Lasso and Parks and Rec, two other supremely neurodivergent shows. (Note: in my early posts about the show, I tended to refer to Ed mainly as “Blackbeard.”)
Early on, there’s a heavy emphasis on Stede’s embarrassing attempts at real piracy. In some ways, it feels a bit like a quirkier, swashbuckling version of The Office’s brand of cringe humor: buffoon boss doesn’t know what he’s doing, hijinks ensue. Funny and entertaining, but not necessarily special. But as the show goes on, it actually reveals itself to be more a quirkier, swashbuckling version of Ted Lasso’s brand of uplifting humor: inexperienced boss fumbles his way through his chosen field, focusing on emotional health and vulnerability in what’s traditionally thought of as a toxically masculine environment.
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I’m so happy that this show exists, and I’m thrilled we’re going to get a chance to see more of these characters and their stories.
Relationship Spotlight: Edward Teach a.k.a. Blackbeard & Stede Bonnet
While most of the crew thinks Stede’s foppish ways are silly and kind of embarrassing, Blackbeard is fascinated by all of Stede’s aristocratic affectations. The imposing, unspeakably cool pirate is beside himself when he realizes Stede owns a tiny replica of his own ship, and he relishes the secret door concealing Stede’s extensive wardrobe.
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Though he obviously admires him and is eager to learn the tricks of the trade from him, Stede doesn’t place expectations on who Blackbeard is or isn’t “supposed” to be. The two see each other in ways that their respective crews just don’t.
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In an odd way, they remind me a little of my beloved Leslie & Ben from Parks and Recreation. The two pairings are completely different, but in both, we’re shown how and why they like each other beyond just “chemistry.” When Blackbeard and Stede’s relationship progresses to physical affection, I don’t really have to wonder what they’d do together as a couple, because we’ve already been watching the many ways they make each other happy.
Favorite Characters: Edward Teach a.k.a. Blackbeard
He has a genius for piracy, but his very notoriety is beginning to weigh on him. He’s bored, sick of doing the same old thing and sick of his scary reputation meaning that no one even puts up a fight against him and gives him a challenge.
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That’s part of what draws him to Stede Bonnet, the self-styled Gentleman Pirate. When they board the Revenge, Blackbeard is charmed by the evidence of Stede’s aristocratic idiosyncrasies on display everywhere: his miniature model of the very ship they’re on, the finery of his wardrobe, the fact that he brought a complete library onto a ship. Other pirates look at these things and see weakness, but Blackbeard is fascinated.
Favorite Characters: Stede Bonnet
Stede doesn’t know what he’s doing, and it shows. And somehow, as much as he’s flailing at sea, the flashbacks of his staid, stifled home life back in Barbados are even more awkward. We see how ill-suited he and Mary are to each other in their arranged marriage, how much Stede feels like Just Some Guy in his own house. He doesn’t have a meaningful relationship with his wife and his children, and every time he tries to break through to something real, he missteps or his ideas are shot down.
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Obviously, it’s not cool to abandon your wife and kids without warning and run off to be a pirate. But I understand why Stede felt that something had to give, and when Mary wouldn’t agree to a seafaring life, he decided to press forward on his own. Aboard the Revenge, he has no better idea of what he’s doing, but he immediately feels freer and more invigorated.
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That’s reflective of the way Stede runs his ship. He knows very little about piracy, but in a way, that just frees him up to decide for himself what he wants it to look like.
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For this reason, the crew stops viewing Stede as an aristocratic doofus to be got rid of and more like a bumbling family member to protect from himself. As he plows naively forward, they gently suggest emendations when he’s making himself look foolish to outsiders and generally try to keep him from getting himself killed. They’re hardly the terror of the seas, but they’re in this together, and that includes Stede.