Sunday,
April 23
·
Headlines
– Tennessee state representative resigns, right-wing backlash against Bud Light
ad featuring trans influencer Dylan Mulvaney
o
The
Tennessee state representative, Scotty Campbell, was found guilty of sexually
harassing interns. He claimed not to realize that a workplace policy about
not sexually harassing people still applied outside the workplace – “What
are you talking about, Scotty? I’m not sure that, ‘Whatever I did, I wasn’t at
work when I did it,” is quite the iron-clad defense he seems to think it is.”
o
I
laughed out loud at John’s description of beer – “Drinkable bread that makes talking
less scary.”
o
I
enjoyed John’s bemused reaction to transphobes posting videos of themselves
destroying cases of Bud Light – “Because if there’s one thing that hurts a
company, it’s destroying their product after it’s already been purchased.”
o
What
rightfully aggravated John the most in this story is Bud Light’s wishy-washy,
equivocating response to the reaction – “It is pretty annoying to be
bothsidesing something when the two sides are, ‘I am trans,’ and ‘That makes me
so mad I’m gonna shoot $65 worth of non-refundable beer.’”
o
Bud
Light has also since put out an extremely generic, blandly patriotic ad trying
to win back the aforementioned transphobes – Naturally, the show had to come up
with its own version, featuring voiceovers like, “So what’s our beer about?
It’s about the Grand Canyon, trains, dogs being reunited with soldiers.”
o
The
whole fake ad was filled with digs on the taste of Bud Light itself – My
favorite was, “We never created it to be enjoyed, just purchased.”
·
Main Story – Cryptocurrencies
o
I’m
always here for John making fun of himself – “We first covered crypto five
years ago, when I was ten years younger.”
o
I love
that one of Sam Bankman-Fried’s nicknames was “Jpeg Morgan.”
o
John
decided not to try and explain how crypto and the blockchain work, since people
could just revisit the earlier story from five years ago – He added, “Or not!
Not watching this show is always a strong option for you.”
o
The
list of seemingly endless crypto options out there included CumRocket,
ElonSperm, and Monkey Jizz – “Those are all real, by the way. We were
going to come up with a fake one as a joke, but then we saw Monkey Jizz and it
felt like a hat on a hat.”
o
I
loved John’s summation of how the cryptocurrency Terra allegedly maintained its
value – “And if that sounds both complicated and stupid to you, it is!”
o
Do
Kim, who created Terra, was denying that his scam of a company was in legal
trouble when a surprise visitor popped up on his Zoom call – Kim exclaimed, “Holy
shit, is that Martin Shkreli?” Yes, it was. Shkreli told him, “I just wanted to
let you know jail’s not that bad. It’s not the worst thing ever.”
o
Meanwhile,
John was thoroughly weirded out by videos of Alex Mashinsky, who ran a crypto
bank called Celsius – “What the fuck was that? A heads-up dab? And to be
honest, why a dab at all? It’s not 2015, and you’re not a guest on Ellen.
Also, you’re 57 years old!”
o
Fantastic
response to an FTX ad – “Yeah: ‘You don’t even have to understand it. Just use
it.’ Their pitch for a major money app was basically the same as the attitude
that we all have toward semicolons. You’re never 100% using one of those, are
you? It’s a real ‘go with God’ punctuation.”
o
After
FTX collapsed, it came out in hearings that this billion-dollar company kept
did books on Quickbooks, which led to this great bit from John – “Look, I’m no
accountant. I mean, I should be. I look like my most formative childhood
memories were in an H&R Block. I look like I fell in a vat of radioactive
itemized receipts. I look like what appears if you say ‘Microsoft Excel’ into a
mirror three times.”
o
John
noted that he normally ends a main story with a call for greater regulation to
get better control over whatever problem he’s discussing – “But I’m not sure that’s
a good idea here. The danger is, regulation might give this sector more
legitimacy. It could make a risky investment look safe when it is clearly not,
and that in turn might entice banks to start getting more involved in crypto,
giving the sector even more legitimacy and also exposing all of us to its
volatility.”
·
And
Now This – A Look at a Few More of Jim Cramer’s Great Calls
o
Cramer
popped up multiple times in the main story, insisting that various crypto
schemes were solid investments and their companies were on the up – This
montage included more things he got incredibly wrong, like his fawning
interview with Elizabeth Holmes
o
He
said of SVB Financial, “I think the fears were not justified” – An intertitle
announced, “SVB collapsed 30 days later.”
o
His
bad takes didn’t only involve investments – He also said, “Ukraine, they have
an army, but that army’s gonna be overrun in about two hours.”
It
was Desi Lydic’s turn in the chair this week.
Monday,
April 24
·
Headlines
– Backlash to Budweiser campaign with Dylan Mulvaney, Tucker Carlson leaves Fox
News, Elon Musk pays for prominent Twitter Blue accounts, Bed Bath & Beyond
going out of business
o
Great
description of right wing “protests” against Bud Light – “They were filming
themselves shooting cans, running over cans, hitting cans with a baseball bat.
It was like a Saw movie, but starring Bud Light.”
o
Desi
reacted to a new ad put out by Arkansas governor Sarah Huckabee Sanders for a
can cozy featuring pictures of “real women” conservatives like herself -“I
never thought I’d miss the old beer commercials. I mean, sure, there were a lot
of boobs, but at least they weren’t like, ‘These boobs are biological boobs!’”
o
Love
– “Having a vagina doesn’t make you a woman. Having a crippling fear that
you’re using too many exclamation points in an email, that’s what makes
you a woman.”
o
Desi
noted that we haven’t yet learned why Tucker Carlson was fired from Fox News,
but some have speculated that it was related to his coverage of January 6th
– “So let this be a lesson to everybody. If you try to topple America’s
democracy, you can stay on TV for two more years, and that’s it!”
o
Great
line, about Twitter Blue – “Nobody wants this thing. The blue checkmark is now
Elon Musk’s least popular product, and this guy makes a car that runs over
children.”
o
Roy
decided that Bed Bath & Beyond’s mailer coupons were what led to its demise
– “Look at these things! ‘Buy one, get eight free.’ ‘Free refrigerator with any
purchase.’”
o
Another
good bit from Roy – “Every time I walk in here, I see something I didn’t know
existed. Corn cob holders, okay, but corn cob holder holders? George Foreman
grills, Muhammad Ali fryers, Mike Tyson duvets. They sell wine glasses without
stems. Bitch, that’s a cup!”
·
Host Piece – Female CEOs
o
At
the start, we watched a montage of news clips about the dire state of gender
parity in top positions – One anchor noted that, while men often get raises
when they become fathers, the opposite is true for women. She said, “Their
earnings decline for each child by 4%.”
o
This
was a so-so piece, with Desi talking to a group of young girls and teaching
them about what it’s like to be a CEO – I smiled when she said, “I think the
key takeaway is we want…”, and one girl chimed in, “To beat the boys!”
o
After
appointing one of the girls the “CEO” of the group and gifting her a nice bag,
Desi demonstrated the glass cliff by dumping the bag’s contents on the floor
and telling the girl she had to clean up the last CEO’s mess – The girl
protested, “But you said being a CEO was good,” and Desi replied, “Yes, it is.
But it’s not always fair.”
·
Interview
– Creator/actor Catherine Reitman
o
Tying
in nicely to the previous piece, Reitman was there to promote the last season
of her show Workin’ Moms.
o
I
liked what she had to say about the show’s seven-season run – “I entered this
show thinking, all right, I’ll probably get one season. And I’ll just try to be
as authentic as I can. Tell all my stories, cram it into one season. And each
season that we got picked up for another one, I was in disbelief. I still am.”
o
Nice
summary – “This is about women being something outside of the nursery. It’s a
women in the workplace show.”
Tuesday,
April 25
·
Headlines
– Biden announces reelection campaign, Tucker Carlson’s firing, Aaron Rodgers
traded to the New York Jets, misoprostol ban in Wyoming
o
Good
line – “Well, it’s night two, and so far I’ve outlasted Tucker Carlson and
Don Lemon.”
o
I
loved this bit, about whether Biden is too old to be running again – “To be
fair, 86 is old, not just for a president but for any job. If my Lyft
driver rolled up and was 86 years old, I’d be like, ‘Do you need help
getting home?’”
o
Desi
noted that Trump was the best thing Biden had going for his reelection campaign
– After listing various issues with the prospect of another Trump presidency,
she said, “Not to mention, this guy’s in court every other week. Hush money, tax
money—he has a new trial starting in New York today and you barely even knew
about it!”
o
Loved
this – “The guy’s going for a crime EGOT.”
o
Facing
the possibility of a Biden-Trump rematch in 2024, with neither being all that
enticing, Desi said, “It sucks, but unfortunately, America only has two
people.”
o
We
still don’t know the precise reason Tucker Carlson was fired – Besides the
hefty settlement from the Dominion lawsuit and Carlson’s texts revealed with
insults to his bosses, Desi offered, “Maybe it was his overall vibe of ‘creepy
dad driving the babysitter home.’”
o
In
Wyoming, misoprostol has been banned for pregnant people seeking abortions, but
it’s still legal for dogs. This led to a short sketch of Desi at the vet asking
for an abortion pill for her dog – “It’s just not really a great time for her,
you know? She’s just really trying to focus on her career.”
·
Interview
– Transportation secretary Pete Buttigieg
o
I’ve
heard this sentiment from Buttigieg before, but it bears repeating – “Even
though not everybody voted for the infrastructure law, I have yet to meet
anybody who is upset when we’re fixing an airport terminal, upgrading a bridge
so we can have a better, safer, more convenient experience getting around this
country.”
o
When
Desi asked if culture war stuff is “distracting” the GOP from important issues,
Buttigieg shared this story – “Just the other day, I was testifying in the appropriations
subcommittee, explaining how our budget was gonna help with things like
railroad safety, air traffic control, and other transportation needs. And we
had to take a break so that they could all go and vote on a bill to kick
transgender teenagers off of sports teams. That was the priority for the House
GOP that day.”
o
Great
line – “We’re literally building bridges, and they’re literally banning books.”
·
Interview
– Actress Yvette Nicole Brown
o
At
the start of the interview, Desi asked Brown, “You bring so much warmth and
joy. What is your secret? Is it not reading the news?”
o
Brown
replied, “You know what, I’m determined to not let what’s happening in the
world destroy me. And I don’t wanna be the problem, so I’m telling myself to
always come in and make things a little bit better.”
o
Brown
was there to promote the new series for Frog and Toad – When Desi asked
if Frog and Toad were gay, Brown explained recent reports about how the author
of the original books used the relationship between Frog and Toad to write
about the kind of companionship his society had trained him to believe he
couldn’t have.
o
She
added, “So it works as a friendship, and it also works as a tender love story
with amphibians.”
Wednesday,
April 26
·
Headlines
– Fox News executives reportedly have dirt on Tucker Carlson, Disney sues Gov.
Ron DeSantis over political retaliation, Hugh Grant cast as Oompa-Loompa in Wonka,
Ed Sheeran sued over copyright, expedition searches for great white shark
mating site
o
Desi
thought Disney could go harder than suing Ron DeSantis – “If they really wanted
to f**k him up, they’d slip his kid the Encanto soundtrack. As a parent,
trust me, that can ruin your life.”
o
This
line made me laugh – “Sheeran of course isn’t just Prince Harry with a job.”
o
Sheeran
is facing legal trouble due to claims that his song “Thinking Out Loud”
violates the copyright of Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On” – “I don’t know how
this is all gonna turn out, but if Ed Sheeran was smart, he’d try to move this
Marvin Gaye trial to Florida. They refuse to acknowledge anything gay there.”
o
Michael
reported on the great white shark story – When Desi asked if scientists were
really that invested in watching the sharks mate, Michael explained, “Not at
first, but they’re being so secretive about their mating site that now we gotta
see it. If they’re hiding it that well, you know they’re doing some real freaky
shark shit down there, okay?”
·
Host Piece – GOP control in Kentucky
o
Desi
went to her home state of Kentucky to contrast the state’s politics with the
people who live there – It was an easy joke, but I laughed at the woman who casually
referred to Mitch McConnell as “turtle face.”
o
One
expert she spoke to cut to the root of why the state house doesn’t necessarily
look like the state itself – “Our legislators are governing like Republicans,
not like Kentuckians.”
o
He
elaborated – “If you look at the laws being passed in Kentucky, they’re the
exact same laws as the ones being passed in Florida or Mississippi. These are
much different states with much different priorities, but they have the exact
same agenda because the Republicans in every state are just passing a list of
things Donald Trump and other right-wing Republicans like and are popular on
Fox News.”
o
Desi
asked people on the street where Kentucky goes from here, wondering if the political
situation makes them despair – One person said, “You have to have hope, because
otherwise, you wake up and you live in fear, and that’s not what we in Kentucky
do.”
·
Interview
– Actress Jameela Jamil
o
I
liked how Jamil described her self-proclaimed place in Hollywood and on social
media – “We don’t have enough representation of women who make mistakes, who
falter, who get back up, who learn, who grow and decide to do better.”
o
She
was there to promote her podcast Bad Dates, which is about exactly what
you’d think – She explained, “It’s just about the silliest things we’ve
ever done on the road to love, or shagging, or both.”
o
I
really liked what she said about her involvement in a movement to “reclaim
exercise” from those who tie it solely to weight loss – “We make you feel like
by the time you join a gym, you have to look like you’ve already been going to
the gym for ten years. And I’m so done with that, because the mental health
benefits of exercise don’t take six months to achieve. They’re immediate!”
Thursday,
April 27
·
Headlines
– Tucker Carlson and Don Lemon speak out post-firing, congressional hearing on
COVID school closings, airplanes grounded by bird strikes
o
This
made me laugh – “You know what? Let’s give Tucker credit for not saying the
C-word once during this video. Bravo, Tucker! I know that was really hard for
you.”
o
Great
line – “Tucker complaining about people being mean is like Guy Fieri
complaining about how there are no salad shows.”
o
In
the story about the congressional hearing, we mainly focused on Marjorie Taylor
Greene dismissing the testimony of one woman on the grounds that her children
were through marriage, saying that the woman wasn’t “a biological mother” and
thus couldn’t really comment on remote schooling in the early days of
COVID – Desi remarked, “Also, it’s a little weird to hear MTG dissing stepmothers,
because this woman has the most stepmom energy I have ever seen.”
o
The
correspondents got in on the story about bird strikes – Dulcé wasn’t sympathetic,
saying, “This is survival of the fittest, baby girl, okay? If a bird can’t see
or hear a 747, it’s time for that bird to meet bird Jesus.”
o
Jordan,
on the other hand, was maybe too sympathetic – “This is such a typical
human response, to colonize the air. First, we appropriate bird culture by
flying into their home uninvited, we mock their bird ethnic cuisine by eating
their little nuts in a bag, and then tell them that they’re not
welcome?”
o
Another
good line from Dulcé – “Listen, you know what birds are like. If you give them
an inch, they’ll shit on it.”
·
Long Story Short – The wellness industry
o
This
made me smile – “Now, you might think that the term ‘wellness’ started in the
‘90s, back when white women invited yoga.”
o
Like
Desi, I was weirded out by the trend of “perineal sunning” – “Just a general
rule, never try a trend that seems like it was invented by the guy next door
with binoculars.”
o
Part
of the piece focused on various “vaginal rejuvenation” products, including
gummies purported to improve its taste – “Because it’s not enough that your
vagina can regulate its own pH and be a pleasure center and
deliver a baby. It also needs to taste so good it gets a Michelin star.”
o
Loved
this – “Look, we don’t need any of this. The vagina is a self-cleaning organ.
It’s not like you need a tiny Roomba in there, getting to those hard-to-reach
corners.”
·
Interview
– Actress Sophia Bush
o
Bush
was promoting the new play she’s in, 2:22 A Ghost Story – Desi remarked,
“I love a good ghost story. To do research for this role, did you just go visit
the Senate?”
o
Desi
praised Bush for her advocacy and political activism – When asked if she’d ever
run for office, Bush replied, “I don’t know where I’m supposed to go yet. If I
could be most useful serving in elected office, great. If I could be most
useful raising money for incredible […] candidates across the country and
making sure we flip state Houses so we’re not, you know, thrown back to the
Dark Ages, into it! Like, literally, just tell me how to help, and I’m down,
you know?”
I
enjoyed Desi’s week. She’s not one of my favorite correspondents, but she did a
good job and had some great one-liners. Her final Moment of Zen on Thursday was
old home movie footage of her as a kid, hosting her own “talk show” in her
bedroom—very sweet.
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