Sunday, October 24
·
Recap
of the Week – Vaccine hesitancy in police departments
o
In among the rapid-fire events of the last week that John name-dropped was simply this – “Adele
wore the hell out of this full-body
chocolate-leather outfit. No one has worn chocolate that well since Augustus
Gloop. That is a fashion fact!”
o
John
opted not to show us what the Chicago PD’s union chief said about vaccine
mandates. Instead, he only showed us the man’s apology for those remarks, which
John then summed up as, “Technically, I never said the word ‘Holocaust,’ I just
referenced the showers” – Yikes.
o
John
struggled to follow the logic of an NYPD officer who manhandled a commuter for
asking him to wear a mask, insisting that the commuter was being “disruptive” –
“‘Disruptive’? Have you ever been on the subway? You know, the big metal worm
that screams? The place where, every day, you see the biggest rats that ever
walked the earth and then you just go to work like it’s nothing? You’re in
disruption junction, baby!”
o
I
like how John brought this piece home – “The constant refrain we hear from cops
every time they kill an unarmed Black person is, ‘They should have complied
with commands,’ because as long as you comply, things will supposedly go well.
But that only seems to work one way. Because when officers are asked to follow
simple rules or face consequences, a not-insignificant amount of them flip
their shit.”
·
And
Now This – The Weather Channel’s graphics
o
Weather
Channel meteorologists pretending to be in danger from CGI car crashes on icy
roads or CGI falling debris during a hurricane was definitely a choice.
o
I
don’t for the life of me know why a meteorologist was interacting with a CGI
Frosty the Snowman.
·
Main Story – Taiwan
o
John’s
take on John Cena’s delivering an apology to China (in Mandarin!) after
commenting that Taiwan would be “the first country to see F9” – “Every part of that
is so weird! It’s weird John Cena apologized to China, it’s weird he did it for
calling Taiwan a country, and it’s weird to see him do it in pretty decent
Mandarin! That’s just too many weird things! I half-expected that shot to pan
out to reveal he’s also doing a needlepoint of Liam Neeson kissing an ostrich.
Honestly, it would only make it slightly stranger.”
o
This
was a good analogy – “Historically, Taiwan has been like the Stanley Cup of
Asian history, in that different people keep passing it around and carving
their names on it.”
o
I
liked John’s reaction to an old-timey news reel about Taiwan – “You know, I do
kind of miss that period of human history when the only way to learn about
other cultures was to have a British man on amphetamines tell you which were
the good ones and which were the baddies.”
o
Oh
man, that video of a Hong Kong reporter’s attempt to get a WHO representative
to even discuss the existence of Taiwan was painful
– “That man couldn’t be more clearly avoiding the question if he came back
online pretending to be a lamp. ‘Uh, you can’t ask a lamp about Taiwain, especially me, I only speak French. So that’s
actually two reasons I shouldn’t have to answer this question. I’m a lamp, and
I only speak French, except for this brief paragraph in English explaining my
situation. Au revoir! J’suis lamp.’”
o
John
succinctly described the U.S.’s official policy of “strategic ambiguity” – “It
is a willfully-confusing will-they-or-won’t-they dance that, for 40 years, has
been the backbone of U.S.-Taiwan policy.”
o
This
was John’s response to a video of one Taiwanese official delicately
acknowledging Taiwan’s autonomy without actually calling it separate from China
– “It’s like meeting your partner’s parents for the first time and saying,
‘Hello, I regularly fuck your offspring.’ Yeah, everyone was aware of that, but
now that you’ve officially declared it, things are gonna get much more
difficult for everyone involved here.”
o
John
was impressed with one Taiwanese citizen’s nonchalance on China’s
possessiveness over his country – “Wow, that is a pretty relaxed attitude given
the circumstances here. He’s talking about the nuclear-armed, saber-rattling
superpower taunting his country with war planes like it’s season 2 of Emily in Paris. ‘You know, I don’t love that it’s happening, but honestly,
I just try to carry on with my life.’”
·
And
Now This – James Corden interviewing actors
o
This
was a supercut of James Corden segueing into discussing an actor’s movie (in no
less than 20 different interviews with, “I have to congratulate you on your
brilliant new movie”, and saying, “For anyone who doesn’t know, tell them what
it’s about and who you play.”
Monday, October 26
·
Headlines
– Used medical gloves imported to the U.S., elephants evolving without tusks
o
Sad
but valid – “These gloves are not meant to be reused. They’re meant to be
thrown into a trash bag, which is then thrown into the ocean, which is then
swallowed by a whale. That’s the right way to do it!”
o
I
loved Trevor’s introduction to the elephant piece – “For this next story, let’s
do what my haters and my grandmother are always telling me to do and go back to
Africa.”
o
More
female elephants are being born tuskless due to natural selection, which has
been affected by elephant poaching – “Yeah, believe it or not, these elephants,
like most females, are just trying to avoid Don Jr.”
o
Ronny
was the headline correspondent today. Too much awkward “bit” stuff for my
taste, but I liked this line – “If you’re an animal with money growing out of
your face, what do you think is going to happen next? Yo, if I walked around
Times Square with bitcoin growing on my ass, dude, I’d have a poacher problem,
too.”
·
Main Story – Cinematographer killed on movie set
o
Like
many people, Trevor had a hard time believing how a gun loaded with live rounds
wound up on a movie set to begin with – “Hollywood movies love using the fake
version of the real thing for everything except
guns. Like in Hollywood, they’ve got fake everything. They’ve got fake tigers.
They’ve got fake houses. They’ve got fake diversity and inclusion initiatives.
But then when it comes to deadly weapons, suddenly they’re like, ‘Let’s get a
real gun and, uh, see what happens. Yeah, you know, switch things up.’”
o
Trevor
would’ve thought real guns were phased out of moviemaking years ago – “But I
guess Hollywood has a history of moving slowly on innovation. I mean, shit, it
was only a few years ago that they found out that women could be over 33.”
o
News
has come out that there were multiple safety issues on this set and that crew
members quit over poor gun safety – “I mean, this gun misfired multiple times
and was still allowed on set? How is that possible? Like, was this gun’s dad
the producer?”
o
This
is what it boiled down to – “It is absolutely unnecessary for anybody to lose
their life for a pretend thing.”
·
Sen. Kyrsten Sinema
o
In
another look at the interminable Democratic gridlock over the reconciliation
bill, Trevor, summed up the current aggravating state of affairs – “While
Manchin has been pretty clear that he’ll support the legislation as long as it
saves West Virginia from the ravages of clean air and water, pinning down what
Senator Sinema wants has been a lot harder to figure out.”
o
This
was a good comment on Sinema’s unwillingness to share what she actually wants
in the bill – “You know, it’s weird that in the Senate withholding information
can actually give you power. Like, what other job can get away with that? A
waiter doesn’t become more influential by refusing to tell you what the
specials are.”
o
The
piece looked at Sinema’s far-left political origins as a Green Party activist
and her shift to the right as she’s risen in power. Needless to say, she’s come
a long way from the woman who brought in a coven of witches for an Iraq War
protest – “By the way, it’s funny how it was specifically a coven of feminist witches. ‘Cause, I mean, that
seems redundant, you know? Like saying ‘emo vampire.’ It comes with the
territory.”
o
Trevor
acknowledged that people’s political beliefs mellowing over time is nothing new
– “What’s unusual about Sinema is that she shifted so far so fast. I mean, she
went from hosting witch covens to denying immigrants healthcare in just a few
years. It’s almost like she got bitten by a radioactive Ted Cruz or something.”
·
Interview
– Actress Anna Kendrick
o
Trevor
asked Kendrick, “How did you avoid the child-star trap? How are you normal? Are
you normal?” – She reasoned that getting her start in theatre was very
different than film, where there’s a lot more coddling/pampering and can lead to
child stars getting an overinflated view of themselves.
o
I
enjoyed Trevor and Kendrick trading remarks on how it can be hard to “shut
their brains off” when they’re watching something (standup for Trevor, acting
for Kendrick) and not think about how they would’ve done it differently. They
both agreed that the better/more engrossing a project is, the better they’re
able to switch off and just be present.
o
Trevor
noted Kendrick’s discomfort with talking herself up and suggested she pretend
she was talking about a different actress called “Anna Kendricks” – She
retorted, “I would end up being like, ‘Anna Kendricks is, you know, she’s
talented, but she’s kind of a lot. I don’t know, she’s not for everyone.’”
Tuesday, October 26
·
Headlines
– Revelations from Facebook whistleblower documents, Virginia governor
candidate targets school curriculum, man saves money with the “Six Flags diet”
o
Part
of the uncovered Facebook revelations included the fact that the company
changed their algorithm to prioritize posts eliciting a strong emotional
reaction, with the “angry face” emoji weighted five times more heavily than a
like – “This is the worst use of emojis I’ve ever heard of. Like, emojis
shouldn’t be used to emotionally manipulate people. They should be used as a
fun way to ask someone if they’ll water your eggplant.”
o
Roy,
the headline correspondent of the night, wasn’t surprised that emojis carry
more weight these day – “We don’t even type ‘lol’ anymore. That’s how impatient
we are as people.”
o
I
liked Trevor’s comment on conservatives trying to restrict school curriculum – “You
know, it’s almost like conservatives learned too much about cancel culture and
accidentally got really into it.”
o
The
political ad that inspired the story featuring a mother seriously intoning
about the “explicit material” included in her child’s school assignment – “Whoa!
What were these kids reading? Was this first grader reading 50 Shades of Grey? Was this like a little
coloring-in book of dick pics?”
o
It
turned out the “explicit material” in question was Toni Morrison’s Beloved, which was read for a high
school senior’s AP English class – “I’m
sorry, guys, but any parent who thinks their 17-year-old son’s school
assignment is too explicit, they need to check out his browser history. Because,
trust me, he can handle it.”
o
The
man who gamed the Six Flags system, bought an unlimited year-round pass for
$150, which includes free parking and two meals, and then went there every day
to eat – “By the way, how are amusement parks both the cheapest and most
expensive places on Earth? Like, eat for a year, $150. A mouse pad with a
picture of you on a roller coaster, $3,000! No in-between.”
·
If You Don’t Know, Now You Know – Police traffic stops
o
As
a news clip at the top of the story showed, even though ticket quotas are
illegal in a number of states, that doesn’t stop them from happening – “Commanders
asking troopers to write a minimum of 60 traffic violations a month. On
multiple documents, it says this is not a quota.”
o
Many
police departments let their officers know they expect a certain number of
traffic tickets per day, with the money making up a sometimes-surprising
percentage of the city budget – “When you consider that some of these towns are
making basically their entire budget off of these tickets, it finally gives us
a good answer to that first question that cops always ask. ‘Sir, do you know
why I pulled you over?’ ‘Yeah, ‘cause your town is broke as f**k.’”
o
We
also looked at how police are punished for not making quotas, whether with
negative performance reviews, mandatory overtime, or subpar equipment – “It
goes to show you the quota system isn’t just unfair to citizens. It’s unfair to
the police, too. And the worst part is, the cops can’t even protest this, because
every time they try, they just beat themselves up out of habit.”
·
Interview
– Talk show host/author Tamron Hall
o
As
with many a guest, Trevor asked Hall about her experience during COVID, and she
talked about having to pivot when the pandemic hit three months into her new
show – “We started doing interviews. We did COVID around the world, literally
on an iPad, where we went to Korea, India, all around the world where people
were saying, from their perspective.”
o
Hall
was there to talk about her new novel about disproportionate news coverage for
missing white girls vs. Black girls – She noted that people who counter with,
“So what, you think this [missing white girl] just shouldn’t be covered?” are presenting an unfair “trick bag,”
comparing it with people who equate being against police brutality with being
against police.
o
But
she argued that there’s no reason it should be like that – “With that case that
you’re referring to, Gabby Petito, her poor family now have to stop and say,
‘Wait a minute. We want her covered, but we also want Jelani Day covered.’ And
then Jelani Day’s mother’s on the other end begging for a camera to just point
her direction to plead for where he is.”
o
Hall
also noted that these attitudes have been a part of newsrooms for so long now
that they function almost by themselves – “I’ve never been in a newsroom where
someone said, ‘Listen, Tamron, we’re gonna put the beautiful white girl.’ No
one’s ever said that, but the actions lead to that.”
Wednesday, October 27
·
Headlines
– Fears over edibles in Halloween candy, Build Back Better bill, Florida
surgeon general’s lax COVID stance, cigarette sales increase during the
pandemic
o
This
made me laugh – “We kick things off with Halloween, or as pumpkins call it,
genocide.”
o
Trevor
didn’t buy the fearmongering over people giving out edibles on Halloween – “Even
if a kid did get an edible by accident, they would realize it on the first bite.
‘Cause let’s be honest. Like, if you’ve ever eaten an edible, you know.
Anything that’s candy that’s laced with weed, it always tastes a little bit
like a tree took a shit.”
o
Dulcé,
the headline correspondent of the night, didn’t think it was anything to worry
about either – “They’ve been telling us since we were kids. They’re like,
‘Somebody’s gonna hand you drugs.’ But if you’re a kid who ever saw an adult
with drugs, they never try to give them to you.”
o
Interesting
that the new 15% corporate tax provision in the Build Back Better bill bases
that percentage on the profit corporations report to their shareholders, not the IRS – “Those are two very
different numbers. You know? The thing they tell the IRS is not what they tell
the shareholders. It’s like how people talk about sex differently with their
date versus how they talk about it around their mom.”
o
This
was a good analogy – “I do think Manchin is right. Paying taxes is patriotic.
Part of loving your country is financially supporting your country. You can’t
say you love your child if you’re sending all your money to some other kid
who’s in the Cayman Islands.”
o
Trevor
wasn’t sure if the IRS could crack these corporations, but Dulcé had faith in
them, pointing out that they were the federal agency to take down monsters when
the FBI, CIA, DEA, and ATF couldn’t.
o
Trevor
couldn’t figure out how Florida’s surgeon general managed to become a doctor if
he’s so opposed to wearing masks – “I know you weren’t doing surgeries from six
feet away, just throwing kidneys into the patients like a game of cornhole.”
o
Great
line – “Dude, this state senator is being treated for cancer. You’re risking
her life because you want to communicate more clearly? What are you trying to
communicate, that you’re an asshole? Because you’re doing a great job.”
o
Good
line from Dulcé – “If Darth Vader can communicate through his mask, you can
communicate through a piece of paper.”
o
Trevor
was puzzled over why someone would take up smoking during a respiratory
pandemic – “Maybe that’s the point. Maybe these people are smoking because they
hope it’ll trick COVID. You know, like COVID’ll show up to their lungs and be
like, ‘Wait. I… I must’ve have been here already. Oh, all right. All right,
let’s wrap it up, boys.’”
o
Dulcé
posited that people were smoking to relieve stress. She also wondered if people
stuck at home were having more sex and so needed more post-coital cigarettes,
which Trevor didn’t think people actually did outside of movies – “If somebody
started smoking while I was having sex with them, that would be the most
demoralizing thing I could ever imagine.”
·
Correspondent
piece (Desi) – Texas abortion ban
o
When
Desi asked just “how f**ked” Texans are over this law, the expert she spoke to
said it was preventing about 85% abortion access in the state.
o
The
expert zeroed in on the law’s constitutional work-around, that it deputizes
citizens to punish abortion providers by seeking “bounties” in the way of
lawsuits, rather than the state actually restricting abortion itself – “It’s a
law that’s designed so that the state of Texas isn’t going to enforce it, so we
can’t go into court and sue the state of Texas.”
o
I
liked Desi’s description of the law as a way to “crowdsource the war on women.”
o
Desi
spoke to the main architect of the law, who she pointed out was not a lawyer, a
woman, or a person with kids. I appreciated the withering disdain in her
expression as he defended the deputized citizens aspect of the law with this
analogy – “Everyone loves Batman, right? No one’s complaining about having a
costumed vigilante known as Batman getting the job done. And so, why are people
against private citizens to get the job done?”
·
Interview
– Actor Diego Boneta
o
In
talking about his Netflix series Luis Miguel,
Boneta noted that a Spanish-language series isn’t the barrier to viewership that
it once was – “I think people don’t
care anymore about the language. The best content wins.”
o
Boneta
described Luis Miguel, the subject of the biopic show and his character, like
this – “He’s one of those Latin performers where it’s just him. There’s no
dancers. There’s nothing. It’s just him and his voice, and he’s been doing that
for a long time.”
o
He
talked about meeting the real Miguel in preparation for the series – I liked
how Miguel shared certain stories with him that Miguel specifically didn’t want included in the show.
Rather, they were solely for Boneta’s benefit, to help him shape the character
and understand Miguel’s perspective better.
Thursday, October 28
·
Headlines
– Build Back Better bill, first gender-neutral U.S. passport issued, man
arrested for living in O’Hare for three months
o
Desi
was the headline correspondent. She’s not my favorite for these pieces, but I
did like her little tangent worrying that she was going to see a lot of people
dressed up as Karens for Halloween – “My culture is not a costume. Listen, if I
see one Karen costume, I’m calling the cops.”
o
Good
joke on why the stripped-down Build Back Better bill only got rid of Medicare
expansion for dental and vision coverage, not hearing – “When you’ve got a
president who whispers as much as [Biden] does, you’ve got to make sure that
people can at least hear him.”
o
In
a speech about the importance of passing the bill, Biden talked about America’s
sinking rankings globally on issues like women in the workforce, education, and
infrastructure. Trevor’s response made me laugh – “I understand what Joe Biden
is saying. America in the past used to be great, and it should be made to be
that way again. Huh, someone should put that on a hat.”
o
Trevor’s
anger about gender-neutral passports wasn’t what you’d think – “No, no. I’m
sorry, people, this is unfair. Why do I have to be stuck with a boring-ass
letter like ‘M’ when other people can get ‘X’ now? Like, ‘X’ is by far the
coolest letter! X-Men. X-rated movies. Malcom X. The X-factor, huh? It means
there’s something special about you. But the M-factor sounds like the North
Korean translation of The Matrix
that’s translated back into English.”
o
Trevor
didn’t buy that gender-neutral passports pose a “security risk” – “Let me tell
you something. Passports are already terrible at confirming somebody’s
identity. Because passports last for ten years! No one looks the same in their
photos after ten years. I mean, Black people do but not, like, the rest of you.
Y’all age like bananas.”
o
I
laughed at Trevor’s reaction to the man caught living in O’Hare – “Honestley, I
think we give the TSA a hard time for racial profiling, but I have to applaud
them this time. I mean, this guy was hanging around the airport for three months, and the TSA was like,
‘Whoa, whoa, whoa! Let’s not jump to any conclusions.’ Good for them.”
·
Correspondent
piece (Roy & Ronny) – NBA updates
o
I
enjoyed the footage of wild Knicks fans celebrating their first win of the
season, especially the guy who shouted, “We had de Blasio. We had Cuomo. It was
rough shit, but we had the Knicks!!!”
o
When
Ronny joins in on these sports pieces, it’s often hit-or-miss for me, but he
was really on tonight. I loved his response to anti-vaxx protesters breaking
through the barriers outside a Brooklyn Nets game – “Damn, I’ve never seen fans
storm an arena before! I mean, were they there to support Kyrie Irving or hang
Mike Pence?”
o
Also
from Ronny, re: the creator of Squid Game
clapping back against Lebron James’s criticism of the show’s ending – “I
love this, Roy! NBA rivalries were getting so stale. It’s time NBA players
start beefing with people in other fields. Next, I want to see Russell
Westbrook talk shit about the new Wes Anderson movie.”
·
Interview
– Pollster Kristen Soltis Anderson
o
It’s
always interesting when Trevor interviews Republicans. There are always some
claims/statements he doesn’t push back on, but he usually gets some interesting
discussion going – In this Case, Anderson seemed pretty evenhanded, and her
perspective as a pollster who examines people and their voting habits gave her
some neat insights.
o
Anderson
reasoned that a lot of Republicans became Trump supporters, not so much for his
personality but because of their belief that he was someone who could take “the
fight” to the Democrats – I can understand that, but I also know there are a
lot of folks disrupting school board meetings right now touting quite a few
Trump lines. Are they the “average voter”? I should hope not, but they’re
certainly not nothing.
o
Trevor
repeated a frequent line of thinking for him, his belief that much of the
divisiveness in America comes down to the fact that there are only two major
political parties – Anderson joined him in speculating on what a U.S. Congress
with more parties would look like, although she believed that most actual
legislative votes would go the same way.
o
Just
like being a Republican doesn’t necessarily mean being a Trumper, Anderson
pointed out that not every Republican perfectly aligns with what a Democrat’s
view of a Republican is – “I think there’s an assumption that once you put that
label on, that you are signing up for all of the policy positions that are on a
party’s platform that they adopted at convention. And that is not the case.”
