Saturday, October 31, 2020

News Satire Roundup: October 25th-October 29th

Sunday, October 25

·        Recap of the Week – Trump campaign, Hunter Biden laptop story, final presidential debate

o   Great response to Trump at a rally in Erie talking about how he didn’t want to be there – “Whoa, bold move there to neg a swing state.”

o   After one pundit’s positive comments on the debate included, “No one set themselves on fire,” John replied, “Yeah, true, although, historically, the bar for these things have been set a little higher than ‘no one burned themselves alive.’”

·        And Now This – Apocalypse Now references on CNBC

·        Main Story – Asylum seekers

o   John felt that, in theory, asylum seekers are a group that it would be impossible not to support – “They are the literal huddled masses yearning to breathe free.”

o   Unlike how they are with most issues, this is an arena in which the administration is “focused, dedicated, and deeply resourceful” when it comes to further wrecking the system.

o   John acknowledged that family separations are the most visceral, headline-grabbing thing the administration has done to asylum seekers, but he looked more at other critical policies that have also caused enormous amounts of damage.

o   In looking at how kidnappers who extort U.S.-based relatives of asylum seekers use code words to identify people who’ve already been kidnapped once, John remarked, “It’s pretty bleak when kidnappers have a better system for keeping track of asylum seekers than the U.S.” under the “Remain in Mexico” policy.

o   The gross negligence on display for notifying asylum seekers in Mexico of their U.S. court dates was despicable – “Overall, the system is about as effective as writing ‘meet us at the place’ on a raccoon and throwing it over the wall to Mexico.”

o   It turns out that invoking Title 42 (which grants powers during publich health emergencies) to halt immigration was on a “wish list” of Stephen Miller’s – according to John, the rest of that list was just a doodle of a ripped version of Miller and “‘maybe an all-white reboot of Hidden Figures?’ circled three times.”

o   Preach – “This administration has taken an asylum system that was already imperfect and shattered it.”

·        And Now This – The Godfather references on CNBC

 

Monday, October 26

·        Headlines – Early voting

o   40% of the total number of 2016 voters have already voted this year – keep it up, everybody!

o   As Trevor said, neat story about the astronaut who voted from the International Space Station, but “America has to examine its priorities when it’s easier for a white lady in space to vote than for an old Black lady in Georgia.”

·        Pandemic News – Trump is tired of talking about COVID-19, Mike Pence exposed to multiple positive cases in his office

o   OMG, so true – “It turns out the ‘October surprise’ is that we’re still talking about the same shit we were talking about in March. Surprise!”

o   I loved this take on Trump’s dismissiveness – “Imagine if the captain of the Titanic had this attitude. ‘All anyone’s talking about is drowning, drowning, drowning, as if tonight’s not all-you-can-eat shrimp night at the dining hall!’”

o   Mike Pence’s coronavirus strategy – “Although technically, this is one way to keep track of COVID-19. You know what they say: keep your friends close and the coronavirus even closer.”

o   This was a great line – “It’s interesting how Zen Trump’s people are about this. Because, you know, with an immigrant child who came over the border, they’re like, ‘Zero tolerance! One is too many, we have to deport!’ But with a virus that’s killing hundreds of thousands of Americans, they’re like, ‘Look, guys, the virus is just trying to make a better life in our lungs. Who are we to stop it?’”

·        Donald Trump’s 100 Most Tremendous Scandals - #75-51

o   Again, this is more accurately the Top 100 Trump administration scandals. Today’s list featured a whole slew of cabinet secretaries wasting taxpayer money on lavish nonsense and getting involved in other kinds of corruption.

o   “Damn, that’s exhausting!” – You and me both, Roy.

o   The main scandal Roy talked about today was Hurricane Dorian, when Trump repeatedly doubled down after mistakenly saying that Alabama was going to be hit by the storm – I appreciate this story for reminding me of the truly-bonkers Trump quote, “This is a tough hurricane, one of the wettest we’ve ever seen from the standpoint of water….”

·        InterviewMusician Bruce Springsteen

o   Trevor described himself as a “new fan” (born out of listening to Springsteen’s music in preparation for the interview,) and I liked his phrasing of, “People would say in many ways, you write the story of America in your music.”

o   They talked about Springsteen songs written decades ago that still feel depressingly timely today, like “American Skin” – Springsteen balked at calling himself a “topical” or “political” songwriter, instead saying he simply writes about what moves him in the moment.

o   Springsteen described his resonance nicely – He said people “like stories that connect to their inner geography,” which he explained as “the geography of your emotional life.”

o   I liked this quote from Springsteen – “I believe your doubts and your questions and your insecurities do keep you moving forward, do keep you questioning, do keep you searching, and that’s at the key of artistic progression.”

Tuesday, October 27

·        Election News – Florida man steals a bulldozer to remove Biden signs, Trump insults Kamala Harris at campaign rallies

o   I laughed at this line – “Did this guy think bulldozing those signs was going to affect the election somehow? What was the logic there? Did this guy think the owners of those houses were gonna walk outside and be like, ‘Oh no, my lawn sign is gone! How will I remember who to vote for now?’”

o   I loved the description of Trump rallies as Trump “holding coronavirus giveaways all over the country.”

o   Trevor had some good shade on Trump’s Harris insults, particularly noting the way Trump played the boogeyman about “a socialist president” and emphasized “especially a female socialist president.”

·        Main Story – Amy Coney Barrett confirmation

o   Great analogy for Trump’s claim that Barrett was a perfect replacement for Ruth Bader Ginsburg – “This would be like if the Lakers replaced Lebron with Ben Carson. Technically, yes, they’re swapping one Black man for another, but good luck making the playoffs next season.”

o   Trevor wasn’t enthusiastic for Biden’s countermove, vowing to assemble a six-month commission to examine options for reforming the court system – “I mean, a six-month commission? I didn’t know that you could filibuster yourself. Read the room, Joe!”

·        Sketch – Trump’s teleprompter operator

o   Trevor’s take on Trump’s speech as Barrett’s confirmation celebration – “You know Trump is the only person who can make English sound like a foreign language. It actually sounds like someone translated Trump’s speech into Farsi, translated it back into English, and then gave him a concussion.”

o   Ha! – “I mean, I put that speech through Google Translate, and it killed itself.”

o   Jaboukie appeared in a “documentary” as Trump’s long-suffering teleprompter operator – I liked the bit about all the hobbies he picks up during Trump’s interminable tangents.

·        Correspondent Piece (Desi) – Undecided voters

o   I loved that, when Desi was asking how anybody could still be unsure which of these candidates they support, the video footage was of Scarface and Mister Rogers, not Trump and Biden.

o   Interviewing a panel of self-proclaimed undecided voters, Desi said, “I feel like I’m standing in line behind those people at Baskin-Robbins who try every flavor.”

o   An expert Desi spoke to pointed out that, despite the biggest production of candidates trying to woo them, “winning elections isn’t about convincing the undecided voter. It’s about motivating your team to show up.”

o   I laughed at, “Are you saying they’re identifying as undecided when they’re not really undecided? Are they Rachel Dolezaling indecision?”

·        Interview – Comedian Chelsea Handler

o   Handler was there to talk about her new standup special – Trevor was impressed with its vulnerability, saying, “As a comedian, you always have this shield, but it felt like you had a few cracks in the shield and you allowed people to peer in a little further than they have before.”

o   Handler admitted that incorporating more serious moments into her standup was hard, not because she couldn’t get serious, but because she struggled to ride out those moments and not rush ahead to the next laugh – “I’m allergic to not having that instant gratification.”

o   This was a great moment, when Handler admitted to crossing the line during an online argument with 50 Cent – “As an ally, I think I need to set an example of always apologizing when I make a misstep.”

Wednesday, October 28

·        Headlines – The World Series, NASA discovers water molecules on the moon, Keith Raniere sentenced to 120 years in prison, court rejects allowing DOJ to represent Trump in defamation suit, Trump supporters stranded after Trump rally in Omaha, Barack Obama and Joe Biden on the campaign trail

o   Hehe, true – “Now, I know ‘moon water’ sounds like something goop would sell to clean your private parts…”

o   I liked the bit about Trump’s efforts to get the DOJ to defend him are all about using the presidency as a shield for his actions, Trevor imagining becoming president and then getting into bar fights – “What did you say about my mama?!” “Ah-ah-ah! What did the United States say about your mama?”

o   The compare and contrast between Obama and Biden at rallies was fun. Good note about how the roles were reversed during the Obama administration (somber Obama, easygoing Biden,) and I loved this observation – “The difference between Obama and Biden is like the difference between Black church and white church.”

o   I also liked, “Sometimes these rallies feel like when you fall in love with someone but they’re trying to set you up with their best friend” I laughed at “Barry” setting up a voter with “[his friend Joe” (“Okay, but I’m only taking one for democracy.”)

·        Main Story – Halloween during the pandemic

o   A sad but necessary truth – “When you think about it, Halloween is the exact opposite of social distancing. You go to as many strangers’ houses as possible and ask them for stuff that they’ve touched.”

o   As always in these kinds of stories, I liked seeing innovations from different people, like households constructing “candy chutes” for socially-distanced trick-or-treating.

o   I laughed at Trevor’s remark that haunted house are safer than the regular world right now – “Ooh, I’m a ghost!” “Yeah, bitch, and there’s white supremacists outside. Imma stay here with you!”

o   That was a great tangent, on timely Halloween costumes – “Wait, hold up. Someone’s planning to be a sexy mail-in ballot this weekend? What are you doing?! If you’re a sexy mail-in ballot, you should’ve been in the mail by yesterday! You realize what you’ve done; you’re too late! Now you’ve gotta go to a sexy drop-off box or you’d better sexy wait-in-line for three hours.”

o   I also liked the “warning” against sexy nurse/doctor costumes, pointing out that anyone in a white coat is likely to be put to work fighting the virus.

·        Donald Trump’s 100 Most Tremendous Scandals - #50-26

o   Even though they’ve been treating this like a ranked list, and there are obviously plenty of big-ticket items yet to show up on the list (family separations, impeachment, lots of COVID-related stuff,) there isn’t too much attention paid to the specific ranking here – I mean, “watching too much TV” was listed only slightly lower than “creating travel ban.”

o   The main scandal of the day was a collection of Trump’s ongoing refusal to condemn white supremacists. I loved this line, following Trump’s claim that he doesn’t know anything about David Duke – “David Duke is the Betty White of racism: he’s been in the game forever and everyone knows who he is.”

o   The show has expressed this ironic “question” before, but it’s still solid – “What could possibly explain why he keeps stumbling into situations where racists and Nazis think they have his support? I guess we’ll never know.”

·        Interview – Rapper/activist Ice Cube

o   Ice Cube talked about his Contract with Black America, a set of proposals for both legislators and private businesses looking to increase economic equality.

o   The short version of the contract’s goals is getting America to “fess up, own up, and pay up.”

o   This was at the heart of what Ice Cube’s trying to do – “I think it’s just a debt that the country owes, and the country’s gotta pay up. Because the country’s coming apart at the seams, and if they wanna stop it, they’ll stop this unfair treatment of Black people in America.”

Thursday, October 29

·        Headlines – Rising COVID numbers in Europe

·        Election News – Trump rallies, record-breaking campaign spending, Biden and Trump both try to reach Black voters

o   Fun comment about Sen. Martha McSally running against a former astronaut –“That must be tough, because every political slogan sounds so much cooler when you can add at the end, ‘in space.’ ‘You know, the other day I was thinking about this great country of ours… in space.’”

o   $14 billion spent on campaigning in this election – “What’s crazy is they spend all this money to get elected, and then you say, ‘Hey, I voted for you! Can I get free healthcare?’ And they’re like, ‘Sorry, there’s no money. (We spent it on ads. That shit was crazy.)’”

o   Looking at the importance of the Black vote, I really liked this observation – “And by the way, I know the media is just trying to say that the Black vote is important, but the implication is always that it’s Black voters’ fault when shit goes wrong. ‘You know, if just a small percent of Black people had voted differently, Trump wouldn’t have won.’ Yeah! But if an even smaller percentage of all white people had voted differently, Trump wouldn’t have won either.” He imagined it as essentially saying, “Well, of course white people are gonna make that choice, but Black people, you should know better!”

o   I laughed so hard at Trevor’s reaction to an awkward “rap battle” put together by the Biden campaign – “It’s honestly too bad Tupac is still alive, because he just killed himself.”

o   Great line – “I love seeing how both white candidates think Black people want to be spoken to. Trump is like, ‘I know Black people! You guys want the Platinum Plan, yo, yo!’, and Biden is all, ‘Let me talk to y’all at the barber shop, my man!’”

o   Roy came on to talk about Black men being more likely than Black women to vote for Trump – after pointing out that 90% of Black men are still against Trump, Roy likened it to suggesting that Ben Carson is to blame for everything that’s happened with the Trump administration.

·        Correspondent Piece (Jordan) – Trump rally

o   This line was a mood – “After a historic 227-year campaign, I found myself at another Trump rally.”

o   Jordan noted the more subdued energy this time around, noting, “It’s eerily quiet. You can hear a QAnon push notification ding in someone’s pocket.”

o   In response to an attendee calling Kamala Harris “Camelback,” Jordan exclaimed, “Wow, both a mispronunciation of the name and xenophobic. That’s a twofer!”

·        InterviewSenator Kamala Harris

o   I really liked this observation from Trevor – “In the rest of the world, people deal with the virus. The nation has an idea of what to do, it’s top-down, everyone does. The people win, they go outside, if it gets bad, the people shut down a little bit, but they’re managing. In America, it feels like the argument is either all lockdown or all open.”

o   Harris felt very stump-speechy here to me and not like she was having a conversation. I appreciated that Trevor tried to steer her back toward the questions he was asking her, although she still didn’t seem to engage with them very deeply.

o   On the topic of police reform, Harris said that “accountability and consequences” are the two most popular words in the realm of criminal justice but that they’re “almost always directed at the person who was arrested and not at the system itself or the people who work in the system.”

o   I liked what she said about the gift families give with names and how much she appreciates people who fight for the respect of being addressed correctly (unlike some of her colleagues on the other side of the aisle.)

Friday, October 30, 2020

This House (2013)

Great National Theatre Live political yarn, about a period in British history I didn’t know much about. Unfortunately still very relevant to the U.S. in 2020, even though it takes place in the ‘70s in a different country.

 

In 1974, the Labour Party gains tenuous control over the House of Commons. Despite being the party with the most MPs, they can’t actually maintain a majority on the floor over the Conservative Party without forging alliances with members of minor parties. Knowing that every vote counts in holding back the Tories from presenting a vote of no confidence and wresting away their power, Labour sets out on a campaign of holding their position at any cost.

 

Much like The Thick of It helped educate me on some of the ways British politics is different than the U.S., this play does the same – it even features an actor from The Thick of It (Vincent Franklin, who played Tory spin doctor Stewart, playing a very different character in government here.) There’s the mere fact that there are enough members of minor parties in government that the major parties need to court them (many representing districts outside England – Scotland, Northern Ireland, and Wales – along with other “odds and sods,” as they’re referred to.) We also see the practice of pairing, a “gentlemen’s agreement” between Labour and Tories to have a member on one side sit out on a vote if the other side has a member unable to vote due to circumstances like an illness.

 

And yet, there are also depressing similarities. Just as the partisan fighting in Hamilton is unfortunately still timely, we see how, more than anything, Labour and Tories beating one another is more important to both parties than what either of them actually stands for. And so, everything Labour does is a desperate bid to hang into their threadbare majority. MPs who are aged and ailing are kept from retiring, since the party can’t afford to lose their warm body from the rolls, and MPs who disagree with particular party compromises are berated for voting their consciences. On the Conservative side, they too vie for the allegiance of the minor-party MPs purely over the purpose of outvoting Labour, and they enact different schemes to essentially exhaust Labour out of power. It’s a political war of attrition.

 

It’s unsettling to watch, although it’s fascinating too. All the actors command the modestly-set stage, with the core cast members on each side fostering strong interactions among themselves and with the other party. The ensemble pulls triple-plus duty, continually popping up in different costumes and accents to play assorted minor-party members or party back-benchers. In addition to Vincent Franklin, who I mentioned above, the production also features Charles Edwards, who I recognized as Michael Gregson on Downton Abbey.

 

Warnings

 

Lots of swearing, sexual references, drinking/smoking, and thematic elements (including self-harm.)